BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Jesus, God, whoda thunk it?! Whoda ever thunk that that imbecilic Oval Office swamp pig could actually outdo himself?! Yes indeed ladies and gentlemen and “children” of all ages, the pin-brained White House boar hog in residence has actually pulled off the heretofore believed impossible: he has totally and completely outschmucked himself! Way down yonder in Alabysmal — it’s a state of mindlessness and misogyny just inside the southeastern boundaries of the Great Republican Swamp — resides a pedophile by the name of Roy Moore who’s doing his slithering best to fill a vacant U.S. […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY “Hey, hey, Donnie J., what style, what character, what nature of ignominy did you secrete today?!” Yep, I do indeed recognize that it’s shear folly to continue to repudiate the behavior of a totally amoral moron and his minions, the majority of whom are likely no more intelligent or principled than he is, but hopefully I’ll never tire of doing so. Well, you knew that he was deceitful and duplicitous, but did you know that he could be truly deadly?! Having failed with numerous attempts to kill the Obama/Democrat ACA Medical Program which brought medical […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY So, what’s with the “MD” post-nominal letters, you ask? Well, for all you non-college-educated, angry, white, laboring (or not), red state, Charlottesville torch-bearing Trumpeteers, the current POTUS true-life-inspired suffix stands for Moronic Degenerate. Believe me, I cogitated long and hard to come up with a concise yet altogether properly inclusive designation to attach to this lamentable piece of pulp fiction we so absurdly refer to as “Mr. President.” I mean, just how do you accurately condense such a noxious mix of imbecility, petulance, misogyny, prevarication, racism, bigotry, pandering, bullying, cheating, hypocrisy and hell-bent ambition to […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The stench is unmistakable. The rot is conspicuous. The entire fetid, rancid atmosphere is stomach churning. You’ve just crossed over into the Trump administration. So, how do you begin to describe a political pestilence? How do you put words to political gangrene? How do you assign an order of disgust to the symbols of political heinousness? By now you’ve no doubt guessed that I’m no fan of Donald Trump. Well, not only am I not a fan, I’m a proud despiser. As far as I’m concerned, he hasn’t a single redeeming quality. Not one. So, […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY This just in: Donald J. Trump announces that the November results give him an unequivocal “mandate” to govern, and to do so as he sees fit. First and foremost: I’ll take those assertions as your attempt at jocularity, Mr. Trump. But as you and I both know, the closest thing you’ll ever get to a “mandate” is probably a clandestine “man date” with your equally pseudo-macho boyfriend in his private Kremlin bathroom. So, how about we clarify a few things right up front: 1) You did NOT win the election, in fact you LOST it […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Good God, the stench is overwhelming! It’s the damn swamp again, folks. Lordy, the stink is absolutely stomach-churning! I know, I know, — yes, he definitely said he would drain it, — but it looks like he’s changed his mind; says he’s weary of the expression and wants all talk of it halted. In fact, he just recently felt compelled to bitch-slap his close buddy and confidant, Newt “Lissotriton Vulgaris” Gingrich for having tweeted some questions regarding the lingering odor. But WAIT! Apparently the swamp draining project is still on (methinks the noxious fumes gurgling […]

  EDITOR’S NOTE: Part 1 is HERE. BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Even with seventy-some years of suspicion, skepticism and mistrust, I never imagined that at some point I would feel compelled to opine a President-elect of this great nation of ours as being an innately ignorant, silver-spooned, immature, thin-skinned, spiteful, deceitful, xenophobic, misogynistic, money-grubbing, two-faced, lying piece of shit. But sadly that time has come. How and why do I unapologetically loathe this President-elect and soon-to-be Presidential disaster so? Allow me to present seven unassailable examples of the kind of excremental rigid-middle-finger-to-character-principle-ethics-morality-intelligence-and-the-best-interests-of-all-but-the-top-two-percent behavior that really should come as no surprise […]

Illustration by JAMES EDMISTON BY WILLIAM C. HENRY In the final days of the election, Trump promised to “drain the swamp” of corruption and self-dealing that is our nation’s capital. No more lobbyists. No more career politicians. No more corporate vultures. No more bribes disguised as campaign contributions. No more globalist middle class job exporters. Can’t argue with that — Lord knows the DC swamp is filled to the brim with snakes and vermin and leeches and covered in pond scum. So, now that the bulk of Trump’s cabinet nominees have been announced, let’s see if he kept his word: […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I just heard President Obama say that, “the people have spoken and Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States.” I don’t know about you, but I happen to believe that those 16 words constitute what may be the most bizarre — if not downright deceitful — example of absurd contradiction in the history of American politics. I mean, just who the hell does he think he’s kidding?! Unlike yourself apparently, Mr. President, I believe in the democratic concept of all persons’ votes counting equally. I don’t believe that a vote cast […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Once again our “democracy” proves to be no such thing. Once again in all likelihood a major candidate who did NOT receive a majority of the popular vote will become President of the United States. Make no mistake, folks, the tRUMPster does NOT have a “mandate” to govern! He has nothing of the kind! He will become President because of an obsolete dinosauric leftover relic of elitist (and racist) American governance past. It’s called the Electoral College and it has no rhyme, reason, relevance or right to be ANY part of the American political process. […]

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY After more than a year of trying very hard to discern why anyone regardless of IQ or level of education, regardless of income or economic status, regardless of race or ethnicity, regardless of religion or belief, regardless of political affiliation or philosophy, could bring themselves to support an inane bigoted dunce like Donald Trump for President, I’m going to do my level best one last and final time to lay bare the incontestable facts and incontrovertible reasoning behind my astonishment-turned-bald-headed frustration that so many as ONE American voter (other than tRUMP himself) could cast his or […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY President Eisenhower was oh so right. It didn’t have to happen. And, in fact, it should not have happened. On August 6th and 9th, 1945, the United States dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Over 200,000 Japanese civilians — mostly women, children and the elderly — were annihilated. The dead included some two dozen American and Dutch prisoners of war. It didn’t have to happen. It should not have happened. There WERE viable alternatives. We could have dropped an atomic bomb on a far less densely populated area of Japan. We could have subsequently […]

  EDITOR’S NOTE: OK, admittedly it’s not a very original title, but it IS accurate. William C. Henry is better known to me as ‘Uncle Bill.’ He’s always been a man of strong opinions and a persuasive argument-maker, but I was a little surprised to learn — after re-connecting with him after a prolonged period of radio silence — that his current perspective so closely mirrors that of Phawker. Which is refreshing, to say the least, since most (white) people seem to turn into Fox News zombies when they get to be his age (early 70s, FYI). Not Uncle Bill. […]