SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: #NotMyPresident



BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I just heard President Obama say that, “the people have spoken and Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States.” I don’t know about you, but I happen to SMUSbelieve that those 16 words constitute what may be the most bizarre — if not downright deceitful — example of absurd contradiction in the history of American politics. I mean, just who the hell does he think he’s kidding?! Unlike yourself apparently, Mr. President, I believe in the democratic concept of all persons’ votes counting equally. I don’t believe that a vote cast in Iowa should be considered more important than one cast in California. I don’t believe that a vote cast in Wyoming should count more than one cast in Pennsylvania. But that’s the way it is with this phony and corrupt Electoral College system of ours that obviously you’ve not seen fit to do much about over the past eight years.

Accordingly, whereas the only reasons the Republican party had for hindering, opposing and obstructing wherever and whenever possible every beneficial program proposed by the Barack Hussein Obama Presidency were, a) the origin and pronunciation of his first, middle and last names, and b) the mere fact that he was an intelligent black man occupying the highest office in the land, I hereby openly and unapologetically declare that I will not support or even acknowledge, a) a literal fraud, b) a complete hypocrite, c) a congenital liar, d) an inveterate racist and bigot,e) a contriving and conniving fear monger and panderer, f) a silver-spooned multiple bankruptee and, g) a candidate who clearly did NOT garner a MAJORITY of the votes cast on and before November 8th, as a legitimate President-elect (or President) of the United States! As far as I’m concerned Trump is and will remain The Illegitimate President-elect (or President) Trump or T.I.P.T. (the author’s chosen acronym which he intends to use “liberally” here and in future columns), period!

So, how’s T.I.P.T. coming along so far? Well, ever heard of a fellow by the name of Jared Kushner (must read)? If not, you’re not alone given the fact that he has ZERO governmental experience! He’s the 35 year old T.I.P.T. son-in-law via daughter, Ivanka, who’s managed to make himself T.I.P.T.’s closest “advisor.” Did I mention he’s also the son of one Charles Kushner, convicted felon and former heavy hitter (billionaire NY and NJ real estate developer) democrat fund raiser. The felon stuff arises from his having pleaded guilty to 18 felony counts of filing false tax returns, making illegal campaign donations and one count of retaliating against a witness. He got 2 years. The prosecutor was one Chris Christie (yeah, that Chris Christie). Well, apparently Jared has always liked his dad and has suffered his plight personally ever since. As a result, not only has Christie become a persona uber non grata at Trump Tower, but so has EVERYONE who’s ever had anything to do with Christie. Unfortunately for those of us who had hoped for at least a sliver of decent governance from T.I.P.T., that includes former Congressman Mike Rogers who actually knows a thing or two about national security and intelligence and had been considered a top and very wise choice for CIA Director or Director of National Intelligence. It’s just plain old nepotism-at-the-source, folks, and it’s a really, really ugly sign of things to come. SMUS Legitimacy Rating = F

What’s more, ANY President-elect or, in this case, “close” advisor who would even consider installing a despicable racist, bigot and imbecilic right wing conspiracy theorist like Stephen Bannon in the White House as a Chief Strategist doesn’t deserve ANYONE’S support or acceptance regardless of their political leanings! Stephen Bannon?! Are you shitting me?! I’m surprised the N.Y.P.D. Hate Crimes Unit hasn’t been called out yet to investigate who hung the large burning lower-case “t” on the side of Trump Tower. Chief Strategist? Ha! That’s a good one! How ’bout, Chief Hate Propagandist?! In the bottom-feeding world of racism, antisemitism, bigotry, white nationalism, and radical-Right ideology they just don’t come any slimier than Stephen Bannon. This is the guy Glenn Beck referred to as a “nightmare” and a “terrifying man.” The chairman of the American Nazi party said Bannon’s selection showed that Trump was “for real.” David Duke of the KKK called his appointment “excellent” and added that Mr. Bannon was “basically creating the ideological aspects of where we’re going.” Richard Spencer, president of the white nationalist National Policy Institute suggested Bannon will “push Trump in the right direction … and that would be a wonderful thing.” God, can it get any more rancid than this? Probably. SMUS Legitimacy Rating = F

This just in: Back in 2012 believing Electoral College results might change the election outcome, T.I.P.T. aka The Phoniest, Most Two-Faced Flip-Flopper On Planet Earth tweeted, “We can’t let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided!” followed by, “Lets fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.” followed by, “This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!” followed by, “The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.” On Tuesday, November 15th he tweeted, “The Electoral College is actually genius in that it brings all states, including the smaller ones, into play. Campaigning is much different!” followed by, “If the election were based on total popular vote I would have campaigned in N.Y., Florida and California and won even bigger and more easily.” I swear, you just can’t make this kind of appalling hypocrisy up! SMUS Legitimacy Rating = F

Oh, yeah, and good luck on EVER seeing T.I.P.T.’s tax returns! SMUS Legitimacy Rating = Beyond The Pale

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.