SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Hail To The Thief



BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The stench is unmistakable. The rot is conspicuous. The entire fetid, rancid atmosphere is stomach churning. You’ve just crossed over into the Trump administration. So, how do you begin to describe a political pestilence? How do you put words to political gangrene? How do you assign SMUSan order of disgust to the symbols of political heinousness? By now you’ve no doubt guessed that I’m no fan of Donald Trump. Well, not only am I not a fan, I’m a proud despiser. As far as I’m concerned, he hasn’t a single redeeming quality. Not one. So, now that you know precisely where I stand, allow me to illustrate more than a few of the exceedingly repugnant reasons for my revulsion.

At the top of the Trumpian trash heap is the unassailable fact that he is the exact opposite of his claim to being a “people’s” President. In fact, Trump is a megaphoned, braying-from-the-barn, plutocratic corporatist yearning for the opportunity to lead an absolute dictatorship. Did I mention that he’s not very smart either (in intellectual terms he tends toward the moronic)? Everything he’s achieved he’s done so through inheritance, bullying or bankruptcy fraud. The foundation of his fortune rests upon the skeletons of stiffed contractors and the remains of the interminably litigated who dared to question any of his fraudulent, protracted, man-handling, law-circumventing means. In essence, he’s a pathologically lying sociopathic brat, thief and phony whom very few people (other than possibly Melania) have ever had the guts or common decency to contradict. Without slumlord daddy Freddy Christ (yeah, that was his real middle name) Trump Sr.’s bequest(s) he’d most assuredly be in prison, waiting on table/busing dishes and/or living off welfare somewhere on the streets of the Bronx, Brooklyn or Queens.

And since America is (or at least was semi-intended to be) first and foremost a democracy (actually a republic) dedicated to equality, freedom of dissent, and “one man, one vote” (except for renters, Native Americans, women and blacks) — with a mighty middle finger salute to the not always brilliant and fair-minded founding fathers for their atrociously indefensible decision to create an Electoral College — permit me to rant on with names the likes of Duterte, Putin, Erdogan, Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, and Abdel Fattah el-Sisi. I’ll refrain from clinically depressing you with even blips from their abhorrent biographies, but suffice to say these fellows are some of the most execrable and urinable despots on the face of the earth. They’re also some of Donald Trump’s most admired and extolled world leaders, an appreciation he has expressed publicly and assertively trump illmawherever and whenever possible from day one.

And, of course, there’s the fact of Trump’s barely veiled desire to re-criminalize poverty. Given his druthers he’d remove the governmental sector from “succor” completely. If you’re poor, homeless, female and/or infirmed and in need of said “succor,” you’d best pray you’ll be able to find it in, 1) the private philanthropic sector, 2) your church, 3) the generosity of friends and relatives or, 4) the lottery. In Trump’s land of “equal” opportunity and benefit, if you should happen to find yourself facing any one of the aforementioned four, you brought it on yourself. Believe me, this fear-mongering wannabe autocrat wants you to know in no uncertain terms that the Trumpian state isn’t a welfare ATM; on the contrary, the government “dole” is there solely to benefit those with the power and position to manipulate it. So far he’s had two tries at dismantling and replacing Obama’s sincere and principled efforts to provide a “healthier,” more affordable system for all of America’s 50+ million previously uninsured with an enormous tax break for America’s wealthiest. P.S. In keeping with the topic at hand, it’s also worth remembering that Barack is the “black” President whose birthright to hold the Presidency Mr. Trump so bigotedly questioned. But, make no mistake, he really does care about all those “angry white voters” who put him in office. Sure he does.

And just as there is no room for compassion or welfare in his government or “governing philosophy,” there is no good/bad or right/wrong in the mind of Donald Trump or his boot-licking advisory ilk. There is only winning or losing, period. No one is allowed to question or “disagree” with Trump. The toady sycophants in his inner circle and beyond know that to do so would constitute employment suicide or, at the very least, complete isolation and/or abandonment. The fear of contradiction is palpable. Blasphemies such as disagreement or the positing of alternative opinion don’t exist. All that matters is what Trump “believes” to be true, and how such “facts” can be manipulated to his benefit. Truth is inconsequential. He is and will always remain an emperor in his own mind surrounded by lackeys too cowed and selfish to inform him of his maleficently insipid nudity.trump illma

Of course, no appraisal of the Trumpster would be complete without a condemnation of his hatred of the media and his desire to have you hate them as well. Many Presidents have felt “uncomfortable” with the media, and many have bristled at the way they were covered, but none has displayed the visceral hatred towards the media as has Donald Trump. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that were the opportunity to present itself he would hastily ban all privately owned media and establish an official “office of state propaganda” to disseminate the Trumpian version of truth with heavy emphasis on his “instinctual” bases of fact. It’s the Trump rendition of the ’30s Hitler/Goebbels governing philosophy: repeat the big “fake news” lie over and over again until it becomes truth in the minds of the mindless faithful. Fortunately for the rest of us (so far) America’s independent private media is and remains literally the single most formidable bulwark of protection between Trump’s dictatorial dreams and the unimaginable horror of its reality.

Speaking of dictatorial dreams, did I mention that Trump wants to make it as difficult as he possibly can for you to vote?! You know, it’s one thing to want the “right” (yes, the Constitution mentions it as such no fewer than 5 times) to vote to be cherished and protected from abuse, but it’s a despicably different (if not criminal) matter entirely to try to make it as problematic as possible for the poor, the elderly, the non-Anglo/Saxon ethnic, the lesser educated, Americans of color, and those already — or likely to become — registered as Democrats, to exercise their Constitutionally granted right to choose their leadership. But, then again, Trump himself is hardly the poster child for fairly and popularly elected leaders of the American people. Nearly three quarters of a MILLION brave, selfless American men and women have made the ultimate sacrifice to guarantee that the rest of us and our children and grandchildren can freely select their leaders, and may God damn forever anyone who would even trump illmadream of making it more difficult to continue to do so!

Certainly not least, and unfortunately at least 3 1/2 years from last, there’s the no small matter of Trump’s and members of his administration’s connection to, and possible collusion with, Russia, in 1) its efforts to influence the results of the 2016 Presidential election, and 2) concerning certain questionable and possibly illegal financial dealings. For over a year now the American people have clearly and repeatedly been made aware of the fact that literally EVERY reputable government intelligence-gathering institution in the United States has confirmed, and continues to confirm, such perfidy on the part of the Kremlin. In addition, it is public knowledge that a “Special Counsel” has been appointed to investigate the degree and extent to which specific individuals within and without the Trump administration (including Trump himself) may have been involved. So far, the President’s “intuitive instinct” that it’s all part of a “fake news witch hunt” on the part of America’s liberal media has “trumped” the country’s entire intelligence-gathering establishment. This just in: Trump’s says his assessment of the voting interference matter is vindicated because Putin has assured him of Russia’s innocence in the matter … and we all know that a country bumpkin like Putin could never get away with lying to such a stellar and astute judge of character as Donald J. Trump! Oops, flash: Perhaps the instinct is becoming extinct! Oh, Terry, where are you just when we need you so desperately?!

In summation, I find that the totality of Mr. Trump is, always has been, and always will be, a tyrannical tempest in a toilet pot, full of bombast, brainlessness, underhandedness and bullshit, signifying absolutely nothing.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up middle stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.