Explainer: How To Use Phawker
Think of us as alternative weekly that publishes every frickin’ day! Take as needed. Refresh early and often. Remember that we have nothing to fear but fear itself and it’s what you DON”T know that can hurt you. And know that Phawker is always there for you when you need it — as long as you pay your electric bill — because Phawker is always on. Always we are looking out for you, always we are watching you watching us, especially during BREAKING NEWS of local urgency. Like KYW but without the traffic reports and those fucking typewriters clacking away in the background. That sound is very comforting and essential to many, many people. We will know we are finally getting it right when we are able to strike just such a chord, that we have found our tone. To be sure, we’re gonna have fun getting lost along the way. So try not to think of Phawker as just buncha juggled words and Googled pix thrown up by some red-eyed shemp four lattes to the wind and smoking like a diesel. Hits too close to home. And you can never go home. Or is it there’s no place like home? Anyway, try to picture Phawker in your mind as a constantly-morphing perpetual motion machine of unconditional love, inconvenient truth and milk-shoot-out-nose funniness. [pictured lower right, with a coupla the gals from down in steno manning the reel-to-reel of steel] A beacon of clarity in the data fog, if you will, that updates 9-5 Mon. thru Fri. on an as needed basis, but we will also be publishing most weekends, albeit at a much more leisurely and quite possibly hungover pace. REFRESH constantly for the cleanest version of the facts as they were available at that moment. Just like life, we are never the same as we were a minute ago, whether that’s good or bad it’s too soon to tell. So we are constantly tweaking and readjusting our underwear. In fact that reminds us of another one of our 47 mottos, PHAWKER: WE’LL GET IT WRITE RIGHT, EVENTUALLY. We work best in Firefox, and if you’re not currently using it as your web browser you can dowload it here. It’s super-easy. DO IT NOW, bitches. You’ll thank us later. If you want to email a particular post to a friend or Hollywood producer or some desperately lonely girl we can note that the headline is always the permalink. Just click on it, and then cut and past the address at the top into an email and voila, you are part of the ghost-to-ghost hook-up. Feel free to tell simply everyone about Phawker. We’re not ashamed. As for comments, we don’t allow them. It has been our experience that with a site like this comments are counterproductive, if not functionally useless. Usually it’s just a lot of stupid shouting, and the public discourse already has plenty of that. Plus, we don’t have the time to patrol the comments section for trolls who just wanna scribble cyber-graffiti on our walls. And we have no interest in offering a forum for assholes to shout “NIG*ER” and whatnot in a crowded theater. Purists may say that it’s not truly a blog if you don’t allow comments, that it’s all about the “interactivity.” To which we say, pee-shaw. If you wanna add your voice to the Phawker conversation, send a comment to firstname.lastname@example.org and if it’s worth sharing we’ll put it up as a READER WRITES. Or better yet, start your own damn blog, say what you gotta say and send us a link. If we like the cut of your point’s jib we’ll link to it. That’s our idea of interactivity. We’re DIY-ing over here, why aren’t you? In this day and age literally nothing is stopping you but your own inertia. And do yourself a favor and check out Phawker Radio (SEE UPPER LEFT) because, hey, you deserve it. If you are have any problems click here for the user’s manual. Remember to REFRESH the Phawker at least three times a day or it starts to get gamy in here. Lastly, with the longer pieces, we suggest you print them out and read them on the can. We do.