SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Donald Trump Uber Alles


Theodore-RooseveltBY WILLIAM C. HENRY After more than a year of trying very hard to discern why anyone regardless of IQ or level of education, regardless of income or economic status, regardless of race or ethnicity, regardless of religion or belief, regardless of political affiliation or philosophy, could bring themselves to support an inane bigoted dunce like Donald Trump for President, I’m going to do my level best one last and final time to lay bare the incontestable facts and incontrovertible reasoning behind my astonishment-turned-bald-headed frustration that so many as ONE American voter (other than tRUMP himself) could cast his or her ballot for such an asinine excremental imbecile.

It’s important to note that this rampage-worthy shock to my senses originated from the fact that obviously NOTHING WHATSOEVER — and I mean NOTHING — the tRUMPster says or does has swayed or even shaken the faith of a single one of his supporters. NOT A SINGLE F _ _ _ ING THING! NOT A SINGLE F _ _ _ ING ONE! They simply do not care. It is indeed a political phenomenon with which I am totally unfamiliar … and would very much like to have it remain as such.

And then all of a sudden the epiphany! Voila! Where had my brain been?! Hell, down deep this tRUMP phenomenon hasn’t been about the Republican party or the Democrat party or Hillary or walls or guns or cops or foreign policy or the economy as such or even tRUMP himself … “today”! I’m convinced that this whole damn thing has been and is about ONE word and one word only and that word is “AGAIN”! Yes, folks, for tRUMP and his dyed-in-the-wool goose-steppers it really is all about making America great again, but the operative word for damn sure isn’t “great,” it’s “again.” And that “again” isn’t about what’s happened over the past eight years or even the past fifty for that matter, It’s all about those two and a half decades or so beginning around 1950 and tRUMP’s inferences that if elected he’ll be bringing them back … AGAIN!

Of course! It’s all about those halcyon days when the coal and asbestos industries were kings and black lung disease and mesothelioma were thrown in for free! Back when “separate but equal” was considered a “generous concession.” When living in ethnic and racial enclaves on the “right” side of the tracks was ordained by nature! When displaying a pale complexion, speaking unaccented Americanese, and being in possession of a high school diploma or less was enough to get you a well-paying job and a decent two-story home in one of those enclaves with a car and a motorcycle in the garage and a hammock and a boat in the back yard … and a picture of a benevolent “white” Jesus Christ on the kitchen wall! Did I mention, however, that spics, kikes, wetbacks, nigg*rs and wops were purposely and unmistakably excluded?!

Yes indeed! Therein lies the essence of the tRUMP phenomenon! It’s all about dreams of George Wallace defiantly blocking the U. of Alabama’s entrance way, and forebears of David Duke in flapping white sheets and pointy caps galloping their white stallions around crosses roaring with windblown flames! Back when a coat hanger or a back alley abortionist were a pregnant woman’s “choice”! Back when nearly 40,000 brave American young men were being slaughtered in a senseless war that was a harbinger of future American wars without conclusion. Back when having learned absolutely NOTHING from the aforementioned Korean experience, America’s “best and brightest” were again intently huddled around their Magic 8-Balls developing a “sound strategy” to stop the “yellow peril” in its tracks in a tiny little-known country called Vietnam. Back when half of all Americans had no health insurance and no hope of ever getting any. Back when a power-craving national-scene political neophyte but would-be dictator sadistically ruined established reputations and careers through fabrication, intimidation, accusation and implication while a previously assenting nation felt helpless to stop him!

Back when a traitor to nearly everything America was supposed to stand for by the name of J. Edgar Hoover was in the process of fashioning one of the most misused, abusive, intrusive and LAWLESS policing/investigative agencies in American history! From what has been exposed about its actions throughout the civil rights movement said Federal Bureau of Investigation might as well have been named the Federal Bastion of Iniquity! Back when beating up on your wife and children was considered “discipline.” Back when a woman’s place was in the home … married, cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, and being sexually “available” whenever and however the man of the house demanded. Of course there’s plenty more about those great “again” days worthy of forgetting, but hopefully you’re getting the gist of my conjecture.

Anyway, I think Anna Quindlen pretty much summed it up when she penned, “Raging crime, class warfare, invasive immigrants, light morals, public misbehavior. Always we convince ourselves that the parade of the unwelcome and despised is a new phenomenon, which is why the phrase “the good old days” has passed from cliché to self-parody.” So, by all means, let’s bring back those good old days! It’ll be a tRUMP fan’s dream come true … and an unholy nightmare for the rest of us!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.