BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Ah, the Mueller report, that highly anticipated piece of political parchment that was expected to be at least a half-filled holy grail of truth, justice and the American way. Except that it isn’t. Granted, it did incontrovertibly cement the FACT that Trump was every bit the pathologically lying, incompetent, insecure, morally rancid refuse heap that more than half of us already knew he was. Unfortunately, such public exposure will no doubt provide little solace for those who hoped it might at least be the beginning of the end of His Hindass’s habitation at 1600 Pennsylvania […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Don’t Cry For Kristjen
Illustration by DONKEY HOTEY< /font> BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Kirstjen Nielsen, the unceremoniously axed Homeland Security Secretary, doesn’t want you to cry for her. Well, don’t you worry that morally vacant, Auschwitz-train-platform-reminiscent, blackened heart of yours, Kirstjen, I won’t shed a tear (the Trump administration has admitted that it could take another TWO YEARS to locate and reunite all of the children separated from their families). Although that’s not the sole reason for this rant, it’s definitely concurrent. Actually, Kirstjen’s appalling acquiescence and far-from-sufficient “just deserts” serve as near perfect illustrations of the malevolence and mismanagement that lurks in every […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: All The Pretty Horses
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I know it’s early but with your leave I’d like to proffer two cents worth of Democrat “ticket” picking regarding the duos I believe offer the donkeys their best chances for success in 2020. First off, I semi-unequivocally submit that the winning ticket must be headed by a jenny (that’s the female equus africanus asinus for all ye non-farm dwellers). Why? Well, let us never forget that Hillary won the last election overwhelmingly, and but for the Russians and the slaveholding states’ Constitutional recalcitrance, she would now be revving up her return for a second […]
UNNMASKED: Tucker Carlson’s Fake Populism
This is a pretty devastating unmasking of Tucker Carlson’s fake populist pose and how he employs it to keep the peasants at each other’s throats instead of storming the palaces of the rich elites who oppress and exploit them. Well done Vox.
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Socialism For Dummies
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I promised you a rant regarding Trump’s raging against the horrors of Democrat SOCIALISM and vowing he will NEVER allow America to become a SOCIALIST country. So, here it is: According to one Donald J. Trump, president of the United States of America, the Democrat party is dead set on forcing wholesale SOCIALISM down the country’s collective throat beginning in 2020, and he is the only politician alive who can prevent them from doing so. Oh my, all I can say is thank God we’ve got someone sufficiently au fait with the nation’s past 85 […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Cruella DeVos
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY This just in: Betsy DeVos, in what is arguably the most unconscionable and cartoonishly evil proposed budget cut from this satanic administration, wants to cut the 18 MILLION dollar$ from her Department of Education budget earmarked for the 2020 Special Olympics. As Betsy so DeVosly stated it: “We had to make some difficult decisions.” She goes on to say that funding for the Special Olympics should come from private philanthropy. Capital idea! If DeVos sold just ONE of her 10 yachts — or if Trump personally covered the cost of just SIX of his golf+unlimited […]
NPR 4 THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When U Can’t
FRESH AIR: On March 15, a 28-year-old Australian man opened fire in two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, killing 50 people and injuring dozens more. The shooter had previously declared allegiance to “white identity” — a fact that came as no surprise to J.M. Berger, an author who studies extremist movements. “We’re seeing a resurgence in various countries,” he says of white nationalism. “It’s a worldwide phenomenon.” Berger, who studies the online activity of extremists, notes that the New Zealand shooter praised President Trump as “as a symbol of renewed white identity” in a 74-page document he published before the […]
MUST READ: One Nation, Under Fox, Divisible
THE NEW YORKER: In January, during the longest government shutdown in America’s history, President Donald Trump rode in a motorcade through Hidalgo County, Texas, eventually stopping on a grassy bluff overlooking the Rio Grande. The White House wanted to dramatize what Trump was portraying as a national emergency: the need to build a wall along the Mexican border. The presence of armored vehicles, bales of confiscated marijuana, and federal agents in flak jackets underscored the message. But the photo op dramatized something else about the Administration. After members of the press pool got out of vans and headed over to […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Who Killed Otto Warmbier?
You know, ever since I read Doug Bock Clark’s GQ article about Otto Warmbier there’s been something bothering me, but I couldn’t quite bring it to mind. Now I can. It was the part about supposed “in the know” individuals (yes, those are my words but they quite accurately express the gist) feeling that a suicide attempt could plausibly explain Otto’s physical and mental condition upon his return. What was NOT offered, however, was ANY kind of explanation/supposition as to what he might conceivably have used to commit such an act, or how he might conceivably have gone about […]
THE BUGLER: Q&A W/ Brit Satirist Andy Zaltzman
Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, broadcaster and author, who has firmly established himself in the vanguard of British comedy with his unique brand of political satire. He is the writer and presenter of the satirical podcast The Bugle, one of iTunes’s biggest ever comedy podcasts. Since The Bugle’s inception in 2007 it has gained a worldwide fan-base – including a prominent U.S. audience. It has aired almost 400 episodes and each episode averages one million downloads. Initially co-written and presented with John Oliver (host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight), the podcast has now been relaunched as part of the […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Dear Mr. President #3
Illustration by MARK BRYAN BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Okay, quick joke to shake off the chill. Take all five of these names: Donald J. Trump, Mitch McConnell, Jim Jordan, Trey Gowdy, Devin Nunes. What do they all have in common? Answer: In addition to being the five most dangerous people in America, every time the latter four have been observed departing the Oval Office, each was seen holding a hankie to his nose, and you were said to have immediately demanded that Pence find you some Preparation H! Like I said, just a little levity to kick this missive off. […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Dear Mr. President # 2
Illustration by MARK BRYANT BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Hi there. Me again. Just checking to make sure you’re all right. I mean, have you gotten help after that wacked out, absurd and really quite asinine little tantrum you let loose with on Friday? Wow, that was a doozy. I was concerned that the EMT folks might not get to you in time. Did you make it to Walter Reed before you went into shock? Are you still hospitalized? Sure hope you get some “experienced” attention. The only reason I say “experienced” is, well, how do I put this delicately? It’s […]