BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Ah, the Mueller report, that highly anticipated piece of political parchment that was expected to be at least a half-filled holy grail of truth, justice and the American way. Except that it isn’t. Granted, it did incontrovertibly cement the FACT that Trump was every bit the pathologically lying, incompetent, insecure, morally rancid refuse heap that more than half of us already knew he was. Unfortunately, such public exposure will no doubt provide little solace for those who hoped it might at least be the beginning of the end of His Hindass’s habitation at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Actually, it might well have been the final dirty diaper change for Donnie were it not for two truly unexpected turns of events. The first being Trump-appointed Attorney General Barr’s hyper-partisan propagandistic “condensation” of the Mueller report deliberately fashioned to controvert or, at the very least, “soften” the impact of, and divert attention away from, the altogether damning truths which he knew were contained in the full report itself, coupled a few days later with his disgraceful, politically distorted press conference intended to cleanse and dilute the disgustingly incriminating factuality of even those portions which he hadn’t redacted from the full report he released only hours later. Okay, I’ll grant you, neither component of this first turn really should have been unexpected coming as they did from the pen and mouth of a provenly biased, bootlicking, Trump loyalist, but this second one certainly should have been.
Here’s a hint. What are the very first words that come out of a law professor’s mouth on the very first day of class in “Prosecuting 101”? You knew the answer right away, right? Okay, on the extremely remote chance that you didn’t, here it is: NEVER EVER ASK A WITNESS A QUESTION YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO … N O T F U C K I N G E V E R! Well, guess what this thoroughly experienced, tried and tested, experts’ number one choice, last great hope of all those yearning for unbiased, incorruptible, COMPETENTENCY in all matters legal, esteemed Special Prosecutor whiffed on? Well, as before, if you hadn’t already guessed it, here it is: Rather than force the president to answer in person, under oath, on video, Mueller’s questions, the Special Prosecutor intentionally allowed him to answer them in writing. These were questions the answers to which he KNEW or SURE AS HELL SHOULD HAVE KNOWN beforehand were going to result in flat out lies, obfuscations, or phony memory lapses.
And, sure enough, shockeroo of all shockeroos, Trump lied, obfuscated, or “couldn’t recall” his way to that ALTOGETHER PREDICTABLE end! Golly, gee, whoda thunk it?! But that’s not the end of this tail of two jackasses: Mueller DROPPED THE MATTER! He NEVER followed through! He NEVER forced the person who was arguably the centerpiece of his whole entire fucking investigation to answer his questions in person, under oath, on video! His excuse for not having done so? “It would simply have taken too long to get the president to do so.” Dear God … and Scotty! Please! Beam me up … NOW!
Even now, after all’s been pretty much said and done, I still find it interesting that Mueller, this Constitutional/American law “expert,” this “dean” of all criminal law attorneys/prosecutors/
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up later stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.