BY AMY Z. QUINN We know how it is: so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up valuable nanoseconds that can now be better spent ‘roughing up the suspect’ over at Suicide Girls or what have you. Every week we pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer you towards the gooey caramel center of each edition. Why? Because we like you. ON THE COVER CITY PAPER: […]
WORTH REPEATING: It’s A Raymond Chandler Evening
“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen.” — Raymond Chandler, ‘The Red Wind’ * LA TIMES: Porno For Pyros NEW YORK TIMES: One Million Evacuated + Half Million Acres Burned=Heckuva A Job HUFFINGTON POST: In a June report, the GAO report […]
MAILBAG: The Kids Are All Right
14 Responses to “TEACHER’S PET: Today I Saw The Future” Alexandra Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 3:02 pm e thanks for your words of wisdom today. they brought a nice change of pace, and certainly woke a few of us up from our in-class dozings. now i don’t feel so left out for not majoring in journalism. [Glad to hear it, Alexandra. –The Ed.] deeney Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 4:23 pm e Since when do college kids go to class on 81 degree late-October days? Doesn’t anyone do drugs any more? Abby Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm […]
TEACHER’S PET: Today I Saw The Future
FROM THE EDITOR: Today I saw the future — and it looked at me like a dog shown a card trick. I was invited to speak to the kids in George Miller’s journalism class at Temple about New Media. I said yes, of course, because I believe the children are our future, and that the future’s uncertain and the end is always near. I told the kids that majoring in journalism was their first mistake. They laughed. I’m not kidding, I said, you can learn everything you need in a single Journalism 101 course and six months of interning at […]
THAT’S COMCASTIC! Or Why ‘Net Neutrality’ Matters
ASSOCIATED PRESS: Comcast Blocks Some Internet Traffic NEW YORK (AP) — Comcast Corp. actively interferes with attempts by some of its high-speed Internet subscribers to share files online, a move that runs counter to the tradition of treating all types of Net traffic equally. The interference, which The Associated Press confirmed through nationwide tests, is the most drastic example yet of data discrimination by a U.S. Internet service provider. It involves company computers masquerading as those of its users. If widely applied by other ISPs, the technology Comcast is using would be a crippling blow to the BitTorrent, eDonkey and […]
PAPERBOY: ‘Freak-Folk Wit Whiz’ Edition
BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]
I Went To The Daily Show & All I Got Was A Good Time
BY EVA LIAO The first thing you learn about seeing Jon Stewart tape “The Daily Show” is that you have to wait — in line, for three hours to be exact — but it’s worth every tedious, snail-paced minute you spend in the Comedy Central queue. The vendor outside is making a killing selling overpriced hotdogs at $2.50 apiece (my friend and I, showing foresight, came prepared with a fifth of whiskey and a joint). Surprisingly, the crowd was not nearly as overwhelmingly white and college-y as we’d expected — though there were four Penn students representing — but unsurprisingly […]
NEWS CLUES: It’s Like Adderall For Your Eyeballs
O BROTHER, HERE ART THOU: REID BOYS REUNITED AT LAST Garrett Reid joined his brother Britt at the Montgomery County jail last night after he missed a court-ordered drug test. The eldest son of Eagles coach Andy Reid “failed to appear for a drug test that the probation and parole office demanded,” said Kevin Harley, spokesman for the state Attorney General’s Office. The tests are random and Reid is not given advance notice, said Harley. “It was a miscommunication,” said Ross Weiss, one of Garrett Reid’s attorneys. Weiss said that because his client is not permitted to drive, he must […]
NEWS CLUES: It’s Like Adderall For Your Eyeballs
POE DISPUTE TURNS GRAVE, DARKER THAN ‘THE NIGHT’S PLUTONIAN SHORE’ In the Oct. 4-11 issue of the City Paper, local literary blogger Edward Pettit declared that Edgar Allan Poe, who flourished in Philadelphia but inconveniently died in Baltimore and is buried there, must be exhumed and reinterred in Philadelphia by 2009, marking 200 years since his birth. Poe lived in Philadelphia from 1838 to 1844. Baltimore Sun columnist Laura Vozzella replied with a caustic piece headlined “We Have the Body and We’re Keeping Him!” Baltimore mystery novelist Laura Lippman groused, “What’s next, a crab cake hoagie?” Jeff Jerome, curator of […]
ONION NEWS NETWORK: Scandal In The Porn World
Use Of ‘N-Word’ May End Porn Star’s Career WARNING: Adult language and situations.
IDIOCRACY: Stanford Prison Experiments In Fast Food
Caller: “Strip Search Her.” McDonalds Store Manager: “Sure Thing, Officer.” By Andrew Wolfson awolfson@courier-journal.com The Courier-Journal She was a high school senior who had just turned 18 — a churchgoing former Girl Scout who hadn’t received a single admonition in her four months working at the McDonald’s in Mount Washington. But when a man who called himself “Officer Scott” called the store on April 9, 2004, and said an employee had been accused of stealing a purse, Louise Ogborn became the suspect. “He gave me a description of the girl, and Louise was the one who fit it to the […]
NEWS CLUES: It’s Like Adderall For Your Eyeballs
RICH MAN’S ASSPANTS: BRANSON LITERALLY HOISTS SELF BY HIS OWN PETARD The billionaire entrepreneur and serial self-publicist had decided to descend 407ft from the top of the Palms Casino Hotel, Las Vegas, to promote Virgin America, a new airline offering domestic flights in the U.S. It all started so well. Strapped in a harness and attached to a cable, the 57-year-old tycoon beamed confidently before taking a running jump from the roof. As he descended rapidly, he pulled airline tickets out of his pocket and scattered them to the ground as part of the bungee-cum-abseiling stunt. But instead of gliding […]