BY AMY Z. QUINN We know how it is: so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up valuable nanoseconds that can now be better spent ‘roughing up the suspect’ over at Suicide Girls or what have you. Every week we pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer you towards the gooey caramel center of each edition. Why? Because we like you. ON THE COVER CITY PAPER: […]
MAILBAG: Throw Another Shrimp On The Barbie!
Dear Jeff Deeney, I’ve only one question to ask: “How did you know she was a Methadone patient?” (Perhaps she was drunk, under the effects of benzos or maybe suffering a neurological condition.) Regards, Toni Gear Australia
TODAY I SAW…
BY JEFF DEENEY TODAY I SAW two young black girls walking on 52nd by Kershaw Street, just south of Master. One girl had her hair cropped so close it was nearly shaven, and she had no bra on under her skintight turquoise top. The other girl had braids and was a little thick; her shape pushed out from under the edges of her similarly form-fitting chocolate colored outfit. They crossed 52nd Street in the middle of the block, and as they walked out into traffic they entwined hands, not caring who knew that they were lovers. The short-haired girl was […]
BREAKING: Santorum Gets Inquirer Column!
EDITOR & PUBLISHER: A press conference will be held at 1:30 this afternoon at the Philadelphia Inquirer to announce that it has added former Sen. Rick Santorum to its stable of columnists. Also hired is George Curry, the former editor of Emerge magazine. They will alternate the weekly spot. The two will attend the announcement with Brian P. Tierney, publisher, and Harold Jackson, editorial page editor. Just today, Santorum is featured (and pictured) in an Inky news article on page A3 headlined, “Santorum presses his case against Islamic extremism: ‘There’s a denial of this problem,’ says the ex-senator.” Santorum, a […]
MAILBAG: The Kids Are All Right
14 Responses to “TEACHER’S PET: Today I Saw The Future” Alexandra Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 3:02 pm e thanks for your words of wisdom today. they brought a nice change of pace, and certainly woke a few of us up from our in-class dozings. now i don’t feel so left out for not majoring in journalism. [Glad to hear it, Alexandra. –The Ed.] deeney Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 4:23 pm e Since when do college kids go to class on 81 degree late-October days? Doesn’t anyone do drugs any more? Abby Says: October 23rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm […]
NEWS CLUES: It’s Like Adderall For Your Eyeballs
Handwashing Incident Mars Grand Opening Of Comcast Doyenne’s Private Theater “You’re the third person who said they built this place,” said Nathan Lane to developer Carl Dranoff Monday night at the opening of the Suzanne Roberts Theatre in the Symphony House (Broad & Pine), which Dranoff Properties did build. Lane was among actors performing “An Evening with Terrence McNally and Friends,” which included a stunning Edie Falco; Richard Thomas, Lucie Arnaz and Doris Roberts, and more actors performing scenes from McNally plays with accompaniment from theatrical musician and “Rosie” show bandleader John McDaniel. A humble McNally addressed the patrons who […]
INSTA-REVIEW: Five Things You Should Know About Art Brut + The Hold Steady At The Fillmore, Last Night
HAIL, HAIL ROCK N’ ROLL: The Hold Steady at The Fillmore, last night. 1. Eddie Argos reminds me of a guy I once dated, whose nickname was Eddie the Fish Man. (He ran a fish store in the long-gone Manayunk Farmer’s Market. Of course.) And speaking of fish, there was definitely something “off” about the fish taco I ate before the show, which explains why this review wasn’t written directly after. Retch! 2. Argos’ hyper-articulate English frat boy thing usually gets all the attention — and not without reason, ’cause dude’s a party mammal, whether he’s onstage baring his beer […]
TEACHER’S PET: Today I Saw The Future
FROM THE EDITOR: Today I saw the future — and it looked at me like a dog shown a card trick. I was invited to speak to the kids in George Miller’s journalism class at Temple about New Media. I said yes, of course, because I believe the children are our future, and that the future’s uncertain and the end is always near. I told the kids that majoring in journalism was their first mistake. They laughed. I’m not kidding, I said, you can learn everything you need in a single Journalism 101 course and six months of interning at […]
WORTH REPEATING: Black Sunday For Killadelphia
BY ANNETTE JOHN-HALL INQUIRER COLUMNIST In Philadelphia, half of last year’s 406 homicide victims were black males 15 to 29, and overwhelmingly they were killed by other black males. That’s a staggering number when you consider that black men make up only 4 percent of the population. This year, the numbers are no better. And all of this crisis has been met by apathy. A black problem. Let them solve it. We can argue about whether it really is just a black problem created by black people, but that’s a waste of time. The 10,000 men who showed up Sunday […]
COMING ATTRACTION: I Survived The ’80s One Time Already, And I Don’t Recall It All That Fondly
Tune in late-night tonight for INSTA-REVIEW: Five Things You Should Know About Art Brut vs. The Hold Steady @ The Fillmore/TLA, plus pics.
INSTA-REVIEW: Ween La Cucaracha
HEAR YE: NOW PLAYING ON PHAWKER RADIO! Fiesta: aka Herb Albert & His Tijuana Grass Play Cheez Whiz and Other Delights Blue Balloon: Take the Cyrkle’s “Red Rubber Ball” fill with nitrous oxide, huff liberally. Friends: Sounds like the theme song for some really grating ’80s sitcom where the entire cast wears too much mousse in their hair and many wind up with felony records after cancellation.* Object: Possibly their prettiest song and cruelest lyric. Learnin’ To Love: Corn pone singalong wherein, for reasons of which I remain blissfully unaware, the Solid Gold dancers show up in the middle eight […]
KILLADELPHIA: 10,000 Vow To Stop The Madness
INQUIRER: Declaring a new day in the struggle to reduce crime and violence in the black communities of Philadelphia, civic, community, government and religious leaders yesterday urged thousands of black men to step forward to help patrol streets. At an event billed as “A Call to Action: 10,000 Men” at the Liacouras Center in North Philadelphia, nearly 10,000 men — most of them dressed in black — gathered to volunteer to be “peacekeepers” in their communities. Many were lined up at tables with sign-up forms. A number already had registered online, organizers said. Looking out at the large audience, Police […]
WORTH REPEATING: The Biggest Brother
FROM AMEN: I’m sure the breaking news that Philly is about to sprinkle our fair city with an armada of security cameras (250, to be exact) will have all types of panties bunched by 3PM – but fear not, oh Big Brother player haters; this venture is being brought to you by the city AND Unisys, which can only mean the project will be completely fucked by December. Posted on October 22, 2007 at 02:06 PM in Philadelphia | Permalink TrackBack COMMENTS: Before the crack-dealer guild gets all up in arms, let’s keep in mind this is the same firm […]