SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Tea Party Is A Boehner Killer

[By KAL via THE ECONOMIST] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY “The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.” If Shakespeare was indeed correct—and I find no “earthly” reason to question his insight—you can expect to find those words displayed in bright neon lights above the graves of Boehner, Cantor & Ilk, followed by a blinking asterisk informing the faithful that there are empty coffins down below. Yeah, yeah, I know the matter has been pretty much ranted (me included) to death, but I thought I’d give it one last semi-comical college try before […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Destroying America To Save It

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Nietzsche said, “We do not place especial value on the possession of a virtue until we notice its total absence in our opponent.” Oh how I’ve come to revere such virtues as honesty, integrity and fairness since the debt/deficit reduction talks commenced! And, it’s that very reverence that now leads me to wonder what nature of maleficence courses through the veins of a political party/movement that descries patriotism in the destruction of a nation for the sake of affording more wealth to its already wealthiest. What’s equally befuddling is why they would choose to adopt such […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Abortion Of Justice

[Illustration by IMJUST80] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Guilt “beyond a reasonable doubt” is one thing — not guilty “because I didn’t actually see it happen” is an entirely different matter. More on that later. First, a little background. Why do we seem to be more interested in seating ignorant, uninformed, malleable juries, than in arriving at reasoned, rational verdicts. Why does our criminal justice system place such a premium on seating jurors who know little or nothing about what’s taking place in the world around them? Why does a system that claims to place “fairness” and “equality” on such a […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: No More Mr. Nice Guy

Above: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs into law the Social Security Act, BY WILLIAM C. HENRY What with all the fabrication, phoniness, and out and out fiction being farted forth from the mouths of Boehner/Cantor et al. vis-a-vis the budget balancing/deficit reduction stalemate, there couldn’t possibly be a more perfect time for some good old fashioned fiscal “factualizing.” Here we go. R E A D M Y L I P S America: Social Security has never added ONE PENNY to the deficit! Not one fucking red cent! And, ANYONE who tells you that we can’t afford to maintain Social Security […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Power, Corruption And Lies

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Given the fact that rampant, persistent corruption is one of the sparks that has been igniting bonfires throughout the world recently, e.g., Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Yemen, Syria, Iran, Ivory Coast, etc. — and given America’s all-too-prevalent propensity for disparaging such turpitude and the very populations subject to it, I decided to take a closer look our own none-to-exemplary track record when it comes to corrupt high-ranking public officials. Turns out that when it comes to corruption of public officials our much ballyhooed ‘American Exceptionalism’ is but a mirage, mostly fostered by people with something to hide With no intention of writing a […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Job Killing For Electoral Gain

[Artwork by WMXDESIGN] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY What the Republican party is doing to the American economy is the most detestably intentional attempt to ensure failure since Tonya Harding & Co. brought down Nancy Kerrigan. Never before in their often sullied history have congressional Republicans purposely acted with such disdainful disregard for the best economic interests of the American people. Sound disparaging? Hell, the words I’d really like to use in describing these lying, cheating, elitist, two-faced, hypocritical, obstructionist, bottom-feeding bastards would likely be censored by even the most “liberated” publications.   Throughout the campaigns leading up to the 2010 elections, […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Less Guns, More Butter

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Let’s be clear about a few things right from the start: 1) In matters concerning budget balancing and deficit reduction, America doesn’t have a “welfare” problem, it has a “warfare” problem; 2) With respect to solutions, one party concedes that all government expenditures must be on the table, the other says the same, but lies; 3) I’d love to argue these points with some really smart, fair-minded right-wingers, but that’s an oxymoron.   Here are what any RATIONAL person would have to agree are some altogether indefensible U.S. “warfare” facts: A) America spends as much on its military as […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Uncommon Sense

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY It’s official. She’s running, and she says she’s going to bring “the voice of common sense” to the White House (a revelation that no doubt brought an even more deeply furrowed brow to the faces of those still trying to figure out which planet she commutes from). Recognizing Miss Sensible’s all-too-self-effacing nature, I think it’s only fitting that I cite a few past examples of Michele’s “common sense” utterings so that those who may be unfamiliar with these quasi-cum-laudables might join in appreciation of the intellectual depth and derring-do exhibited by this nimble-minded master of malapropism. […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Fault, Dear Brutus, Is Not With Our Weiners, But With Ourselves

[Illustration by ALEX FINE] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Kudos to the American media and public at large! With the Anthony Weiner revelations, and the public’s insatiable appetite for the details thereof, the bar has now been set so low for profiting from salaciousness that paparazzi nationwide will no doubt soon be selling exposés of religious school valedictorians voraciously devouring issues of Playboy (for the interviews, of course). Christ, you have got to be kidding me! It’s now front page news as well as fodder for every bottom feeding Breitbart in the country that a congressman tweeted a picture of his […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Long Live Dr. Death Dignity

[Artwork by JACK ROUX] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY We ought to declare Friday, June 3rd, National Human Rights Day and nickname it JK Day in recognition of one of the human rights movement’s most honorable, tireless and least appreciated champions. It’s the day Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the perennially outgunned “David” in his valiant war against the rights robbing Goliaths of government and religion, finally got his oh-so-well-deserved enduring day of rest. God knows he gave it his best. I, for one, would like to express my sincerest sorrow over the passing of a man willing to spend more than EIGHT […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Pounding Sand

[Illustration by Ajda Gregor?i?] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I just finished reading a column in the New York Times by Stanley Fish titled “What’s up with the Jews?” The article poses the question of whether it’s ever possible for any of us to completely eliminate anti-semitic characterizations of Jews from whatever opinions we may form, or conclusions we may draw, with reference to any particular Jewish affected action or stance. In conclusion he offers this statement with respect to the Israeli/Palestinian situation: “Those who offer the criticism can never quite be sure that their distaste for Israel’s actions with respect […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Big Brother’s Holding Co.

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Be afraid, people, be very afraid. Of the Taliban, al Qaeda, or terrorism in general? No. Street gangs, career criminals, or crime altogether? Nope. Rising prices at the pump and on grocery store shelves, or inflation overall? Not even close. Folks, I’ve got something to tell you about that should raise every hair on the back or your neck and send a stampede of shivers right through your soul! It’s called the National Security Agency or NSA. It’s headquartered in Fort Meade, MD, and your hard earned tax dollars–a whole bunch of them–as well as your […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Goldman Sachs Of Sh*t

  [Illustration by thadkellstadt] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Has there ever been a more contemptible crew of con artists in the history of mankind?! Clearly Goldman Sachs has molded financial flimflam into an art form even John Myatt couldn’t envision. From deceptive foreign debt transactions to spurious mortgage-backed securities sales, this unprincipled pack of predators has left a trail of half-eaten carcasses stretching from the pillars of the Parthenon to the cul-de-sacs of suburban California — all the while reaping reprehensible profits for themselves and more than earning the dubious distinction of being Wall Street’s most cunning capitalistic carnivores. In the case of Greece, as […]