SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: No More Mr. Nice Guy


Above: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs into law the Social Security Act,

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY What with all the fabrication, phoniness, and out and out fiction being farted forth from the mouths of Boehner/Cantor et al. vis-a-vis the budget balancing/deficit reduction stalemate, there couldn’t possibly be a more perfect time for some good old fashioned fiscal “factualizing.” Here we go. R E A D M Y L I P S America: Social Security has never added ONE PENNY to the deficit! Not one fucking red cent! And, ANYONE who tells you that we can’t afford to maintain Social Security as it was originally constituted is a fucking LIAR!

Continue to R E A D M Y L I P S America: Here are the FOUR actions that DID, I repeat DID, create the huge deficit and continue to unbalance the budget: 1) The duplicitously unwarranted wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Their costs were never part of the budget. They ShitMyUncleSays_FINAL.jpgwere financed entirely on BORROWED money, and those costs, both physical and financial, will continue to suck the very life blood out of this once great nation for untold generations to come. 2) George Bush’s tax breaks for the wealthy. If allowed to continue, the damning effects of this disgustingly preferential and corruption laden act are such that the number of middle class Americans, along with their quality of life, will be steadily eroded year after year forever. 3) The reckless, unbridled spending of the Republican Congress from 2000 to 2008. Bush inherited a surplus from his predecessor and never so much as even CONSIDERED vetoing a spending bill, no matter how wasteful or porked-up, for the next 8 years. 4) The massive collusional CRIMINAL FINANCIAL FRAUD perpetrated by many of our biggest banks, major investment houses, insurance companies, mortgage originators, insurers and guarantors, and major credit rating houses which brought the country to the very brink of total catastrophic collapse, and for which NOT ONE of the high-level white collar THIEVES and CON MEN responsible has ever been brought to justice.

Having stayed with me to this point, you’ve no doubt guessed correctly that I’m no big fan of the wealthfare worshiping right in this country. I make no excuses. I don’t like right wingers and I especially don’t like the plutocracy for which they stand. That being said, you can imagine my astonishment when I learned that my President (yeah, the Democrat) had embarked upon serious “negotiations” with the Republican congressional leadership to determine if an “accommodation” could be amicably arrived at for achieving a long term solution to the deficit problem. Yeah, right, and pigs can fly!

Let’s get something straight, Mr. President (and with all deference to your esteemed intellect, you damn well should know better) you can’t “negotiate” with Nazis. It didn’t work 75 years ago and it isn’t going to work today. The Tea Party and their right wing suck-up ilk aren’t interested in compromise. The only form of compromise they recognize is opposition CAPITULATION! Wake up Mr. President, their’s isn’t an attempt to right the ship of fiscal accountability, its a duplicitously determined effort to WRECK the ship of SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY! In their world only that which doesn’t feed the dogs of war and greed can conceivably be fodder for compromise.

On a correlated subject, let me ask you this, Mr. President. Am I the only person left who can actually sense the presence of a fearsome large black hairy form in the halls of Congress and the White House?! Is EVERY Democrat in Washington extremely near-sighted or have they all contracted agrizoophobia (look it up)?! Well, for the benefit of all you Bachmannaliens (no, that’s not a typo), allow me to be the first to expose the true identity of this avoid-at-all-costs omnipresent omnipotent monster. It turns out that that 500 lb primate is a big black bulging copy of the annual United States’ DEFENSE BUDGET! And, if the aforementioned White House discussions are any indicator, it is, by far, the biggest, hottest, double-baked tuber ever tossed around. In fact, in this instance, it appears to have grown so hot it vaporized! Why is it that this totally unnecessary, unwarranted, altogether wasteful and corrupt TRILLION DOLLAR mega-monstrosity ISN’T the number one item under consideration for SLASHING?! I must have been experiencing one of my senior moments when I thought I heard that EVERYTHING was on the table. Why do the President and all the Democrats in congress become such “deserters” when it comes to paring this obscenity down to appropriate size?! Can anyone with a conscience tell me what the hell we’re doing with more than a THOUSAND overseas military bases?! But I digress.

Here’s what I’m looking for from you, Mr. President. When these low life Republican lizards come calling to let you know that they aren’t about to relent on those tax breaks for their wealthy contributors, I want you to give them absolutely NOTHING. No “readjustment” of Social Security, no cuts in Medicare. No tit for tat. No quid pro quo. Not a single thing. Let them know that the ONLY thing you’ll consider readjusting or cutting is MILITARY SPENDING! Period. Leave it to THEM to explain to the American people how refusing to abandon preferential treatment for the richest among them was worth bringing this once great country to its knees, AGAIN! Let them explain to their high-end wealthfare hog contributors why their portfolios no longer have any value, why the stocks are worthless, the bonds no longer carry any interest, and the real estate holdings are but a pleasant memory.

Oh, while you’re at it, you might also want to reconsider prosecuting those high-end greenback grubbing, fiscal filching whores who put us in this situation to begin with. You let us down real bad there, Mr. President. I don’t know if it’s too late to save another term, but it’s certainly worth a try.Any questions? I know that the middle and lower classes no longer have any representation in Congress, but it would be nice to know that they at least have a President with a pea pod’s worth of principle, and a few bones extending from the base of his skull to his butt that bear some vague resemblance to a spine. Appeasement by any other name would smell as bad.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.

1,664 = The number of Americans killed in action in Afghanistan
11,191 = The number of Americans  wounded in Afghanistan.
0 = To date the number of financial industry kingpins indicted for having committed the most massive FRAUD in American history.

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