Search Results for: tommy zane

TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: Can someone please explain the smoking rules in this city, because I’ve been in numerous clubs with people smoking all around me. If there’s food being served, you can’t smoke? Is that it? Funny thing is, none of the gay bars allow smoking. Word is that’s why Woody’s went up for sale — his receipts were cut in half by the smoking ban. I still get that weird pay-to-play feeling when I’m standing around a straight club and people are lighting up everywhere, but not so in the gay bars. Could it be the gay club owners […]

TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: Ever get that feeling that you just can’t score? Do you go weeks, months, or (Goddess forbid) years without sex? I know it may seem hard to believe, but us gay folks can have a dry spell too, even the pretty ones. I have an answer for all you queer love losers out there — bring on the straight girls! That’s right — there’s nothing like some sexy, trendy and confident straight women to make your bod all the more attractive. Just this weekend, I was up in Chelsea on business and my dear friend Maria was […]

Amazing how seven days can change the world’ Nothing could ever replace the sated feeling I had watching those pathetic Santorum children crying as Daddy conceded the election. Boo fucking hoo! Now, back to Virginia where you really fucking live. I’m sure Santorum will end up on some Republican’t committee or something. I’m just happy to have him out of PA’s hair. There’s absolutely nothing Philly about him. He probably thinks the Rocky statue belongs on the Art Museum steps. Fucking loser. And as for “Fast Eddie” Rendell, Nancy Pelosi and all the winning Democrats, I say, congratulations — let’s […]

TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: It’s Election Eve 2006 and I’m just up to my ears in excitement! Now, remember to stick to the plan: First we take Santorum, then the rest of The GOP in 2008. The Hillary/Obama ticket is gonna rock those Republican bitches into the next decade! You may ask, is the world ready for a dyke and a black man? HELLS YES! If the last eight years has proven anything it is this: You simply cannot drop the soap in front of a Republican. It’s too risky. Republicans are just too unstable, too many are just barely holding […]

TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: One of my dear friends always thinks he’s fat. He has, like, 2% body fat. Still, on and on with the food games, skipping lunch, just a salad, etc. He’s a transplant from Iowa, so what does he know about Philly eating? I, on the other hand, have adjusted quite well to the two great Philly pastimes: eating cheesesteaks and laying down, preferably at the same time. I’m not fat, mind you, and I get lots of sexercise to burn it off — I think that’s the key to being sensibly trim. But this bitch is fucking […]

Editor’s Note: Are you gay and read Phawker? Or just thinking about it? Becoming gay that is. Because, you know, you ‘heard good things.’ Are you straight but curious how the other team plays? Congressman, we have heard your call and answered your prayers. Our Gaydar Editor Tommy Zane is gay all day and queer for a year, and like all gays he is wickedly funny, stylish, tidy and knows from window treatments. He may be going to hell, but most of our straight friends are, too. So, without further ado, we give you the first installment of GAYBO. We’ll […]