THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN, AND HER NAME IS TEDDY ROOSEVELT NANCY PELOSI. PHAWKER CONGRATULATES ADMIRAL JOE SESTAK, CAPTAIN PATRICK MURPHY, AND THE SANTORUM-KILLER HIMSELF, BOB CASEY JR. WE KNOW THAT YOU GUYS COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT OUR HELP, BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER AND NEVER FORGET: POWER IS A SIPPIN’ DRINK. FAT, DRUNK AND STUPID IS NO WAY TO GO THRU CONGRESS, SON. UPDATE: AP DECLARES TESTER THE VICTOR IN MONTANA, DEM CONTROL OF BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS DOWN TO WEBB/ALLEN RACE IN VIRGINIA, LATEST FIGURES HAVE DEM WEBB IS THE WINNER, […]
Being John Ashcroft: ‘COME PLAY WITH US RUMMY, FOREVER AND EVER, Amen’
DEAR MISTER PHAWKER MAN, i actually started this six years ago and I JUST finished it today. WEIRD, huh? just wondering, Jay Bevenour North Philly, YO! Dear J-Bev, A little. yer pal, The Phawker Dear The Phawker, Somewhere Rush Limbaugh sits in his skivies on his fancy bed, smearing Nancy Pelosi?s photo with feces. I can’t imagine the rabid froth the right is going to unleash on having to answer to a woman congressman representing San Francisco. But if any group of nuts needed a mommy to take them to task, it is this Republican party. Dan Buskirk The […]
YOU’RE FIRED: Last Unknown-Known Finally Known
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE: Robert Gates new Non-NEO-CON Secretary of Defense, tasked with making Baker-advised cut n’ run look like Peace With Honor. Good luck to you, Sir!
These Are Your Rights: WAR IS OVER, IF YOU WANT IT
From: sean@r5productions.com Subject: [R5] Hey You! Don’t Forget To Vote Today ! Date: November 7, 2006 2:27:23 AM EST To: ALL Hello – Just a reminder for you go out and vote today (no matter who the candidate) In Pennsylvania (and Philadelphia) voting takes place between 7:00 AM and 8:00 PM. To find your polling place go to this page and enter in the address where you last registered to vote. If you moved since 2004 and you did not register, you can still vote at your old polling place! See this blog post for more info. Our friends getting […]
THIS BAND COULD BE YOUR LIFE
THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS: Torture Is Over If You Want It
WHY WE FIGHT: Stuck In The Court Of The Crimson-Faced King, A Weary Nation Says No Mas; Meanwhile Back In America, Citizens Celebrate THROW THE BUMS OUT Day By Going To The Polls In Record Numbers
Turns out the Washington Press Corps was right. It wasn’t funny. It was sad but true. On every level.
ENDORSEMENTS: Inquirer Almost Gets It Right, Again
INKY EDITORIAL BOARD: In the Eighth District, Republican incumbent MIKE FITZPATRICK vows to remain a moderate in his caucus. He calls for a new Iraq strategy, understands conservation issues, and knows his district well, having served 10 years as a county official. The Democrat, Iraq veteran Patrick J. Murphy, needs more seasoning. We’re guessing this was some kind of innoculation against the inevitable cries of ‘liberal bias’ the Inquirer Editorial Board would open themselves up to out in the exurbs if they endorsed the entire Democrat side of the dance card. What a buncha pussies! Sometimes there just isn’t two […]
SALUTE WHEN YOU SAY THAT: New Poll Shows Fightin’ Dem Murphy In The Lead Plus Michael J. Fox Lends The Marty McFly Seal Of Approval
Levittown, PA — Today, Patrick Murphy, former captain in the United States Army, Iraq war veteran, and the Democratic nominee for Pennsylvania’s 8th Congressional District, released a poll showing him with a five point lead over incumbent Republican Congressman Mike Fitzpatrick. In a poll conducted by Global Strategy Group from October 29th – 30th, Patrick Murphy leads Congressman Mike Fitzpatrick 46% – 41%, with 13% undecided (MOE +/-4.9%). This is a clear sign of momentum for the Patrick Murphy for Congress campaign.
HEAR THE FAT LADY SING #2: Curt WelDONE To Admiral Sestak, ‘You And The Liberal Media Sunk My Battleship!’
Sestak unleashes turnout machine The Democrats’ strategy could rival the GOP’s success at organizing on behalf of U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon. By Todd Mason Inquirer Staff Writer A confident Joe Sestak is working on the final surprise in his startling bid for the Seventh Congressional District seat: a turnout machine to rival the Republicans’. “The polls show that we are at least seven [percentage] points ahead,” Sestak told volunteer poll workers Wednesday night attending one of three required training sessions. “But we’re working like we are eight points behind.” His opponent, U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (R., Pa.), isn’t conceding, even […]
ONE SENTENCE EDITORIAL: John Kerry Should Have Been Bound And Gagged And Kept In A Secure Undisclosed Location Until The Election Is Over While The Fightin’ Dems That Actually Know How To Play Hardball Without Taking It In The Nuts In The First Inning Slug It Out In The Trenches With These Pricks; And PLEASE GOD, We Don’t Ask For Much, But Let This Be The Much-Needed Period On This Kerry ’08 Talk We’re Hearin’ ‘Cuz You Only Get To Blow It Once, And Then It’s Somebody Else’s Turn To Blow It, Just Ask Howard Dean, And Besides THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!
“How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?” –John Kerry, 1971 Huffington Post: Secret Of Comedy Is TIMING Chicago Tribune: Kerry Cancels Campaign Stops In Philadelphia & Minnesota Michelle Malkin: I Am A Cunt With Teeth
Project S.M.E.R.C. or Wiping The Smirk Off Smerconish With The Dirty Rag Of Truth #2
Like the War On Christmas, the War on Halloween is another Red State canard. Repeat: IT DON’T EXIST. Are you listening, Uncle Fester? Sure, it’s not that big of a deal, but if you give these people an inch they’ll take Iraq. Seriously, if you don’t call ’em on it the next thing you know Santorum is equating it with man-on-my-pet-goat marriage. Check this bulk email invite to Michael Smerconish‘s…wait for it…Un-PC Halloween Party: A few years ago, a letter came home from one of my kids’ schools saying that for Halloween, please dress the children up like someone from […]
Media Matters To NY Times’ David Brooks: What Part of SANTORUM SUCKS COCK IN HELL Don’t You Understand?
Now that we have your attention, what Media Matters actually said was: NY Times‘ Brooks lauded Santorum’s anti-poverty work, ignored his charity-related controversies: Summary: In a recent column, David Brooks wrote that if Sen. Rick Santorum loses his Pennsylvania Senate seat, it’s “probably good news in Pennsylvania’s bobo suburbs” but “certainly bad for poor people around the world.” Brooks, however, did not mention the controversy surrounding Santorum’s own charity, or his attacks on prominent international humanitarian groups. Media Matters: Making Media Matter Since A Coupla Years Ago Attytood: Bono Is Wrong-O, Seriously Santorum Sucks You-Know-What In H-E-Double-Toothpick