GHOST OF D.B. COOPER: On The Verge Of Financial Collapse, Man Fakes Death In Spectacular Plane Crash

NEW YORK TIMES: A financial adviser from Indiana disappeared into the Alabama woods early Monday after faking a distress call and parachuting from a small plane that crashed in Florida. The police in three states were looking for the pilot, identified as Marcus Schrenker, 38. No one was hurt in the crash. According to the police in Santa Rosa County in the Florida Panhandle, where the plane went down, Mr. Schrenker turned up safely about 220 miles north of there. And there is evidence that Mr. Schrenker was an experienced pilot who might have been trying to fake his own […]

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REWIND 2008: The Year In Gay

BY AARON STELLA GAYDAR EDITOR Frankly, I’d be lying if I said 2008 was a good years for gays. First, there’s the case of Senator Larry Craig: Mr. Whoopsie footsie nudging tootsies with the undercover cop in the airport restroom. Uh, whoopsie! Exactly. The Idaho senator just couldn’t keep his homosexual tendencies to himself, could he? According to the police report, Craig was caught propositioning a man in the stall next to him in the Minneapolis -St. Paul airport restroom by way of foot nudging. To Craig’s misfortune, the man he propositioned turned out to be an undercover cop. Whoopsie! […]

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WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour

The Good News Flower Hour #4 Folks, here’s the latest installment of The Good News Flower Hour, wherein I provide the voice for a flower that reads the news. The debut is HERE and the last couple episodes are HERE and HERE. We are still tweaking the concept and streamlining the production schedule on these — it takes a LONG-ass time to make these little three-minute suckers — but we hope to make this a weekly feature in the very near future. Enjoy.

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WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour

The Good News Flower Hour #3 Folks, here’s the third installment of The Good News Flower Hour, wherein I provide the voice for a flower that reads the news. The debut is HERE and the last one is HERE. We are still tweaking the concept and streamlining the production schedule on these — it takes a LONG-ass time to make these little three-minute suckers — but we hope to make this a weekly feature in the very near future. Enjoy.

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SENTENCING: The Last Temptation Of Larry Mendte

UPDATE: Mendte gets 3 years probation, 6 months home confinement, 250 hours community service, computer monitoring plus a fine. MORE PHILLY.COM:  Paul Rosen, Alycia Lane’s lawyer, said she would not speak at sentencing. In a statement, he said:  “Alycia never sought publicity for her private life, and she does not intend to give a public statement today. She gave a confidential statement to the probation officer which was presented to the Court. The only public life she wanted was her news anchor career. Larry Mendte’s criminal conduct destroyed that career and made her a tabloid feeding frenzy. He then attempted […]

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WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour

The Good News Flower Hour #2 Folks, here’s the second installment of The Good News Flower Hour, wherein I provide the voice for a flower that reads the news. The debut is HERE. We are still tweaking the concept and streamlining the production schedule on these — it takes a LONG-ass time to make these little three-minute suckers — but we hope to make this a weekly feature in the very near future. Enjoy.

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ASSTASTROPHE: Lohan Depantsed By America

NY POST:  One episode, titled “Granny Pants,” was about how Lohan, playing Betty’s high school nemesis, would “de-pants” Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan’s pants instead. “Lindsay wasn’t wearing any underwear,” the source said. But a Lohan pal fumed, “Bull [bleep]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America’s fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn’t supposed to pull Lindsay’s pants down — but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying.” MORE

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NEWS CLUES: Like An Internet Sex Tape Of The Truth

HATERADE: Michael Cera Backlash Begins Pointless Quest For Consensus Apparently no one is immune to the backlash that success brings. Not even Michael Cera! America’s ubiquitous and awkward sweetheart appears to be on the precipice of the inevitable take down. Mr. Cera, who stars in this Friday’s Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist, was profiled in the New York Times on Sunday, prompting prickly Hollywood Elsewhere blogger Jeffrey Wells to state that Mr. Cera is “on the brink” and “two or three steps from being over.” We can’t say we expect mannered reasoning from Mr. Wells, who is prone to over-reactions and brash […]

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TRAGIC: ScarJo Married Somebody Other Than ME!

HORROR YEARBOOK: Ryan Reynolds, best known to horror fans for killing the Blade franchise, and running around shirtless in the Amityville remake officially married Scarlett Johansson Saturday confirms US magazine. “The wedding took place Saturday evening at a remote wilderness resort outside Vancouver. Guests included Scarlett’s mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson.” HoHansson, 23, and Reynolds, 31, have been dating since 2007 and announced their engagement on May 5th. Reynolds also received our Hot Stud of Horror award on Feb 2nd 2007. MORE THE GOOD NEWS IS NATALIE PORTMAN IS SINGLE AGAIN: In Touch can exclusively reveal that […]

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