DICKIPEDIA: John Sidney McCain III (born August 29, 1936) is the senior United States Senator from Arizona, the presumptive Republican Party nominee in the 2008 presidential election, an angry old man, and a dick. In the Republican Party, there are two kinds of dicks: those that support the Iraq War but were too cowardly to fight in a war when they had the chance, and, much less common, those that support the Iraq War and did fight in other wars when they had the chance. McCain is the latter kind of dick. During the Vietnam War, McCain became a naval aviator. […]
PEARLS BEFORE SWINE: Live & Direct From The City Democratic Committee’s Jefferson-Jackson Dinner
[illustration by ALEX FINE] BY JONATHAN VALANIA Talk about a confederacy of yutzes: Harris Wofford, bless his heart, has completely lost it, and I am not just talking about his voice, which was in short supply when he took the lectern to introduce the guy who would introduce the guy who would introduce Barack Obama; next up, Chaka Fattah is hands down the LEAST inspiring speaker I have ever had the displeasure of suffering through; and Bob Brady is a great party cheerleader, and the guy you want doling out the patronage goodies, able to keep a vast running ledger […]
TONITE: Sing The Body Electric
[Click image to activate Internets] WIKIPEDIA: Who Is Walt Whitman?
HEAR YE: Joy Division The Best Of
Now playing on Phawker Radio! Why? Because love you, ya big dummy! “Because ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart,’ a weirdly tranquilized effervescence, the pain of love, filtered, forced, dreamed through a deep love of melody, the pop song as a kind of salvation, and all this actually happened, in real life, and then in a recording studio… Because of ‘Atmosphere,’the stunning durability, the lonely sensation of monstrous fatigue, the way the pattern of a dream fades when you wake, but the aura, ambience, timbre and tonality remain, the singer’s uncanny gaze following the awesome trajectory of his voice… Because of […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR With both the cost of and demand for oil rising, nations with large energy reserves are redrawing political and military alliances, and oil-rich countries like Russia and Venezuela are enjoying greater influence. Michael Klare, author of Rising Power, Shrinking Planet, calls it the “new international energy order.”Klare is the director of the Five College Program in Peace and World Security Studies based at Hampshire College in Amherst, Mass. He is the author of several books, including Blood and Oil, which examines the danger of American’s dependence on foreign oil, and Rogue States and Nuclear Outlaws, a study of […]
WORTH REPEATING: Goddamn Right We’re Bitter!
BY JOHN BAER OF THE DAILY NEWS As a native-born, small-town Pennsylvanian, a son of native-born, small-town Pennsylvania parents — one from the coal region, one from Lancaster County — let me assure you that the so-called offensive, condescending things Barack Obama said about the people I come from are basically right on target. “Bitter” perhaps best describes my late mother, an angry Irish Catholic who absolutely clung to her religion. Dad, also a journalist, wasn’t really bitter as far as I know, but he sure liked to hunt. So, despite carping from Hillary Clinton and annoying yapping from her […]
I, POLLSTER: Phawker’s Hilariously Un-Scientific Pennsyltucky Primary Keystoned Cell Phone Poll
BY JONATHAN VALANIA A long time ago, in a Clinton campaign far, far away, James Carville famously declared that Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia and Alabama in between. Aw, yeah: Pennsyltucky. We know thee well. It’s sort of like watching the Dukes Of Hazzard after smoking too much kielbasa. Like sweat socks with a Sunday suit. Like the Deer Hunter costumed by Wal-Mart. It’s the long dark Chicken Dance of the national soul. Lord help us all. Anyway, with the national press are already converging on the Keystone state to get some local color on their laptops, we feel an […]
UP AGAINST THE WALL: Cops Begin Stop n’ Frisk
INQUIRER: The Police Department began preparing officers last week to respond to Mayor Nutter’s promise to step up stop-and-frisk tactics to help rid the streets of illegal weapons. Department officials insist there is really nothing new to stop-and-frisk — the courts have long-established rules that set limits on pat-downs to protect the public from unreasonable searches. But Police Commissioner Charles H. Ramsey wants officers to increase the number of legal searches they conduct as part of a strategy the department calls “aggressive but intelligent policing.” “We’re not asking you to do anything illegal or unconstitutional in any way,” Lt. Francis […]
ELECTONE: Carry On Your Wayward Son
Pay no mind to the fact that this girl is only 10 years old. This fucking rocks, yo.
KILLADELPHIA: 2 More Dead Since U Went 2 Bed
INQUIRER: Philadelphia police last night were investigating two homicides in different sections of the city. A 19-year-old man was shot in the abdomen after getting into a fight with three men at Chew Street and Chelten Avenue in East Germantown yesterday afternoon. The victim, who was not identified, was pronounced dead at 1:05 p.m. Police said they were looking for three suspects. A man in his mid-20s died at 6:41 p.m. at Temple University Hospital after being shot in the chest in the 2600 block of Silver Street in North Philadelphia. He was with a 26-year-old man who was shot […]
HERE COMES THE JUDGE: The Pope Takes Manhattan
NEW YORK TIMES: Let me say at the outset that I am your classic stumbling, grumbling, trying-to-sort-it-all-out American Catholic. I consider myself a practicing Catholic because I dearly need the practice. My family and I attend Sunday Mass with some regularity, though not always at the same parish — in case anyone is taking attendance. Our older child goes to catechism class, as will our younger child when she is of age. I have eaten enough stale crumb cake at after-Mass socials to earn penance for at least a few of my many venial sins. Pope Benedict XVI plans to […]
MONICA: What Is Johnny Doc Hiding?
BY MONICA YANT KINNEY OF THE INQUIRER Say you’re a powerful union boss who chairs the city’s Redevelopment Authority, serves as a Delaware River Port Authority commissioner, presides over a South Philadelphia waterfront neighborhood group, and dreams of being mayor or, for now, state senator. It’s 2005. You earn $175,000 that year and decide to renovate your home. Do you (a) rent a place for the duration of the messy six-month project or (b) live for free at a luxury waterfront apartment building owned by a prominent developer? John Dougherty chose b. Personally, if I wore as many hats as […]
THE LAST LAUGH: Heath Ledger As The Joker
DAILY TELEGRAPH: Chilling promotional images of Ledger portraying the Joker from the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Knight, have been released — nearly three months after the Perth-born actor was found dead in New York. From the movie’s promotional material to the trailer, Ledger appears to be the main attraction, with Christian Bale, who plays Batman, taking a back seat. The film also stars Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman and Christian Bale — reprising his role as Batman. Ledger’s role as the smudge-faced villain is tipped to be his greatest performance, prompting early buzz that he could […]