SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Et Tu, Bobby?

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Ah, the Mueller report, that highly anticipated piece of political parchment that was expected to be at least a half-filled holy grail of truth, justice and the American way. Except that it isn’t. Granted, it did incontrovertibly cement the FACT that Trump was every bit the pathologically lying, incompetent, insecure, morally rancid refuse heap that more than half of us already knew he was. Unfortunately, such public exposure will no doubt provide little solace for those who hoped it might at least be the beginning of the end of His Hindass’s habitation at 1600 Pennsylvania […]

BEING THERE: Spiritualized @ The Fillmore

Photo by JUSTINE PATRICK OAKES If Brian Wilson had been a ’90s alt-rocker, he might’ve been something like Jason Pierce. He’s a man who turns catchy melodies into pulsating mantras, and layers them to create prismatic sonic mandalas. Spiritualized is a glowing comet on its blissful journey through the heavens, with Pierce at the center of its orbit. Or maybe it’s a diffuse nebula formed from the remnants of Spacemen 3’s supernova, and Pierce leads his continuously shifting Spiritualized crew on a voyage through shimmering interstellar vistas, while we folks back on Planet Earth get to watch their transmissions from, […]

FROM THE VAULT: Hey, Mr. Spaceman

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story originally appeared in the November 2001 issue of Magnet and reported in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. We are reprising it here to mark the auspicious occasion of Spiritualized performing at The Fillmore Philly on Good Friday, in support of the new LP And Nothing Hurt. Enjoy.  BY JONATHAN VALANIA Somewhere Over The North Atlantic, Sept . 25, 2001 Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space—35,000 feet above the Earth, to be exact. We’re on our way to Ireland to tag along on a Spiritualized tour. It’s gonna be fun, but there are some risks […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Don’t Cry For Kristjen

Illustration by DONKEY HOTEY< /font> BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Kirstjen Nielsen, the unceremoniously axed Homeland Security Secretary, doesn’t want you to cry for her. Well, don’t you worry that morally vacant, Auschwitz-train-platform-reminiscent, blackened heart of yours, Kirstjen, I won’t shed a tear (the Trump administration has admitted that it could take another TWO YEARS to locate and reunite all of the children separated from their families). Although that’s not the sole reason for this rant, it’s definitely concurrent. Actually, Kirstjen’s appalling acquiescence and far-from-sufficient “just deserts” serve as near perfect illustrations of the malevolence and mismanagement that lurks in every […]

Win Tix To See Nick Mason’s Saucerful Of Secrets

  Some people simply should never, ever trip. Syd Barrett, the former singer/guitarist/central songwriter for Pink Floyd, was one of those people. The van Gogh of early rock music, Barrett cut off his mind to spite his face, still swallowing acid by the handful even as his increasingly deranged behavior dislocated him from his bandmates and, for that matter, everybody else back on planet Earth. Tragically, most of his genius escaped recording, though it did beam directly into the illuminated skulls of the Britpop vanguard, frugging stoned and immaculate at London underground clubs like the UFO where Barrett worked out […]

CINEMA: Hellboy Is Hella Bad

HELLBOY (Directed by Neil Marshall, 120 minutes, USA, 2019) BY DAN TABOR FILM CRITIC Hellboy is an odd sequel/reboot mashup that simultaneously ties up the loose narrative threads left behind by Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy (2004) and Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) while introducing a new cast and the fresh hell that will befall them. In this incarnation helmed by Neil Marshall (The Descent, Dog Soldiers),  Hellboy (David Harbour) is assisted by spirit medium Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane) and Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense agent Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim) as he attempts to stop a Gruagach, which […]

CONTEST: Win Tix To See Americana Icon Kris Kristofferson At The Keswick Tomorrow Night

  This picture was taken back during the Carter Administration when America was still shirt-optional, everyone drove 18-wheelers, women rode around on men knapsack-style, and there was always an explosion in the distance. Always. Kris Kristofferson is older than dirt now, but back in the day, as my mom used to say, he got more ass than the men’s room hopper seat at Howard Johnsons. For all I know, he still does. But back then he forged a career as a badass beardo sex symbol in instantly forgettable movies like Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia, Vigilante Force and […]

PANDA BEAR: Buoys

On the heels of releasing his sixth studio album, Buoys, in February, Panda Bear a.k.a. Noah Lennox has shared a video for the album’s title track. Starring Beatrice the French Bulldog, it depicts an unusual dating show with an ultimately jubilant ending. The “Buoys” video follows previous videos for “Token” and “Dolphin”. It was directed by frequent collaborator Danny Perez (who also did the Buoys artwork and directed Animal Collective’s visual album ODDSAC), and is part of an ongoing collaboration since 2007 between Danny and Panda Bear. About the video, Danny says, “Dogs see past how many followers we have […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: All The Pretty Horses

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I know it’s early but with your leave I’d like to proffer two cents worth of Democrat “ticket” picking regarding the duos I believe offer the donkeys their best chances for success in 2020. First off, I semi-unequivocally submit that the winning ticket must be headed by a jenny (that’s the female equus africanus asinus for all ye non-farm dwellers). Why? Well, let us never forget that Hillary won the last election overwhelmingly, and but for the Russians and the slaveholding states’ Constitutional recalcitrance, she would now be revving up her return for a second […]

THE VILLAGE GREEN PRESERVATIONIST: Q&A With The Kinks’ Guitarist/Songwriter Dave Davies

  BY JONATHAN VALANIA For anyone under 30, the best way to hear the Kinks’ deathlessly literate, arty, and quintessentially English guitar pop is watching the films of Wes Anderson. Pretty much any one will do – they are all larded with choice cuts indelibly wedded to strikingly precious visual tableaux. The films lend the music a vitality and transgenerational reach that members of the Kinks are no longer capable of. The songs may transcend time, but alas the men who made them cannot. Still, I have long been on record attesting to the fact that if the Martians landed […]

NO SURRENDER: Q&A W/ Amanda F*cking Palmer

  BY SOPHIE BURKHOLDER After a six year break from her solo work, singer-songwriter Amanda Palmer is back with a new album called There Will Be No Intermission. Her most personal work to date, she openly sings of her experiences with abortion, miscarriage, and the death of close friends. Now on tour in support of the new record, she plans to re-emphasize an emotional connection with her fans in three-hour-long shows that will arrive in Philadelphia at the Temple Performing Arts Center on Saturday April 6TH. We got her on the phone in advance to talk about the themes of […]