. BY DAN OMBUDSMAN BUSKIRK Hey Jonathan- Let me first say that I’m not accusing you of anything I can’t imagine me getting myself into. I’ve gotten myself into more than my share of charged racial situations and I’m sure there is more to come but I’ve definitely tried to learn something along the way. If I was receving this letter I wouldn’t feel very apologized to, although you do actually say “I apologize”. But for every point you concede you defend yourself twice over. I’ll comment on a couple of things from the letter: Nita, First I would like […]
Search Results for: why we can't have nice things
CHIX WE DIG: Marty Moss-Coane, Host & Executive Producer of WHYY’s Radio Times & Total Babia Majora
BY JONATHAN VALANIA How do we love Marty? Let us count the ways: The way she picks Philadelphia’s brain every day for two hours, leading listeners through two completely different, but somehow relevant, topics of interest — with confidence, class and MILF-y aplomb. The way she never loses her cool or raises her voice or engages in ad hominem attacks, and expects her guests and callers to do the same; how she enforces that covenant with the gentle firmness of a Cub Scout den mother. The way she and her girlfriends — back when they were teenagers — sometimes went […]
GAYBO: Grammys Go Gay; Korporate Karaoke; Threesome Of The Week
TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: The 49th Annual Grammy Awards nominations were announced late last week; time to peruse the list for standout Extra Gay Choices! Let’s start with Miss Mary J. Blige. Ramon calls her the dark-skinned Judy Garland who got off the junk and pulled herself together before the shit killed her. Nominated for eight Grammys, this girl definitely ranks high with queens through every note of pain that comes from her mouth. All the pain she must have inside her shines right through in her singing. Yeah, that’s what I meant. The Dixie Chicks? Start with the name. Sounds […]
FAREWELL NOTE: Plain Parade’s Long Tall Goodbye
Dear Everyone, EVERYTHING’S ENDING HERE Well, it’s finally upon us — our week-long swan song. To state the obvious: please come out and support the bands, support us and in general, have an awesome time. We’re positive this weekend is going to go down in the history books — You don’t want to miss this! Let’s give the City Paper a round of applause for naming us “Most Missed Rock Curators” in this year’s Choice Awards: So long, fair ladies of Plain Parade. Your tiny happy shows were the most lovingly booked, your tastes were impeccable. Four years of giving […]
GAYBO: My Big Gay Tummy, Why Jersey Is For Sister Lovers & The Return Of Judy Garland Park
TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: One of my dear friends always thinks he’s fat. He has, like, 2% body fat. Still, on and on with the food games, skipping lunch, just a salad, etc. He’s a transplant from Iowa, so what does he know about Philly eating? I, on the other hand, have adjusted quite well to the two great Philly pastimes: eating cheesesteaks and laying down, preferably at the same time. I’m not fat, mind you, and I get lots of sexercise to burn it off — I think that’s the key to being sensibly trim. But this bitch is fucking […]
CAVE IN: Reid Defies Obama On Health Care Vote Deadline, Gives GOP Evildoers What They Want
WASHINGTON POST: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said on Thursday the full Senate will debate and vote on healthcare overhaul legislation after it returns in September from a monthlong recess. Reid told reporters he expected the Senate Finance Committee would approve its version of the legislation before the Senate starts its recess August 7. MORE RELATED: GOP — Gang Of Obstructionist Pricks RELATED: Why We Can’t Have Nice Things — Meet Dick Scott Health Care Reform’s Public Enemy Number One THE GOOD NEWS FLOWER HOUR: Meet Health Care Reform’s Public Enemy #1
LIVE & DIRECT: Parsing The Veep Debate In IM
UPDATE: CNN/OPINION RESEARCH CORPORATION POLL Who Did the Best Job In the Debate? Biden 51% Palin 36% QUESTION Regardless of which candidate you happen to support, who do you think did the best job in the debate – Joe Biden or Sarah Palin? *** Our analysts tonight will be Citizen Mom and Jonathan Valania. Here we go… 8:57 PM Citizen: Wheeeee! I’m leaving CNN on because I am mesmerized by the neon spaghetti lines and the pie charts 8:59 PM me: so, any predictions? Citizen: Hmmmmm 9:00 PM I think they’ll both have a few carefully-placed zingers but neither […]
MAILBAG: What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?
DEAR PHAWKER, I spent a month in the medical unit at George W. Hill. I did not see the sun the entire time. We were only allowed out of our cells for showers and phone calls. We were supposed to be allowed to go to the gym once a week, which happened once the whole time I was there. While in custody I became suicidal and the psychiatrist at the prison said that “I could cost the prison 1 million dollars if I was successful”. There was a gentleman who screamed 12 hours a day. The guards would let him […]
KILLADELPHIA: 4 Killed Since U Busted Out The Grill
INQUIRER: The four deaths in Philadelphia brought the city’s homicide toll through yesterday to 122. There were 163 murders as of May 25 last year. The first of the four Philadelphia homicides was discovered at 10:31 p.m. Friday, when police found Oanh Na Lieu shot multiple times inside a BMW parked on the 2600 block of South Seventh Street in South Philadelphia. Lieu, 22, of West Philadelphia, was pronounced dead at the scene at 10:45 p.m. * Three Philadelphia men were shot dead in separate incidents in the city in the early today. According to Homicide Sgt. William Gallagher police […]
The Greatest Modest Mouse Story Ever Told
EDITOR’S NOTE: This story originally published on March 30, 2015. BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR BUZZFEED: Most people don’t know it, but there are actually five, not four, time zones in the United States: Eastern, Central, Mountain, Pacific, and Isaac time — as in Isaac Brock, singer, guitarist, chief songwriter, and all-around mastermind of the very popular underground major-label rock band Modest Mouse. The Isaac time zone is usually situated within the city limits of Portland, Oregon, where he resides, but point of fact it’s located wherever he’s standing at the moment. Isaac time is kind of like bullet time in […]
GIRL UNINTERRUPTED: Q&A w/ Amy Rigby
BY SOPHIE BURKHOLDER A Catholic-raised Pittsburgh girl, Amy Rigby fled her steel mill hometown for New York, then in its mid-70s punk prime to attend Parsons School of Design. Soon shrouding her eyes in black liner, she quickly became a fixture at CBGB and fell into a crowd of downtown punk scenesters. Her love of music grew into a passion for making her own, first with bands like Last Roundup and The Shams, and later on her own. Her first solo album, 1996’s Diary of a Mod Housewife, received widespread critical acclaim in the press a few short years […]
INCOMING: Zen Arcadia
EDITOR’S NOTE: This story originally published in 2014 in the pages of MAGNET MAGAZINE. We are reprising it now on the occasion of a string of East Coast solo dates. He play the Queen in Wilmington last night and he plays a sold out show @ The Iridium in NYC tonight. Enjoy. NEW DAY RISING Bob Mould has survived the rise and fall of Husker Du in the 80s, Sugar going supernova in the 90s, a premature retirement in the late 90s, a detour into DJ culture during the twilight of the alt-rock gods in the early aughts and […]
THE DUDE STILL ABIDES: Q&A With Pete Yorn
PETE YORN PERFORMS @ THE FOUNDRY ON WED. NOVEMBER 6TH @ 8 PM BY JONATHAN VALANIA A way out West there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Pete Yorn. Now, above all things, Pete Yorn is a dude. He is, in fact, a dude’s dude. Same as there’s a man’s man and a songwriter’s songwriter, Pete Yorn is a dude’s dude. You can tell even before he opens his mouth, which is when it becomes really obvious. That hair, that denim jacket, those eyes — eyes that have searched soulfully through […]