Partial transcript of Bill Maher‘s Live appearance on Larry King Live: BM: A lot of the chiefs of staff, the people who really run the underpinnings of the Republican Party, are gay. I don’t want to mention names, but I will Friday night… LK:You will Friday night? BM: Well, there’s a couple of big people who I think everyone in Washington knows who run the Republican… LK: You will name them? BM: Well, I wouldn’t be the first. I’d get sued if I was the first. Ken Mehlman. Ok, there’s one I think people have talked about. I don’t think […]
PAPER DOLL: Take Me! Take Olive Me!
I never met an olive I didn’t like. Whether they’re wrinkly and chewy with a bitter aftertaste or marble-smooth and sopping with brine, I love tugging them off a toothpick with my teeth, squeezing them between my lips and nibbling the pit like a dog gnaws a bone. I enjoy olives so much, in fact, I cannot eat them in public, for I am an embarrassment to my dining companions: contorting my face, rolling my eyes and moaning like I’ve just been DP’d beneath the table. As a food editor and sex columnist, I can’t tell if my fruity obsession […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
Fresh Air from WHYY Interviews: Will Ferrell, Hearing Voices in ‘Stranger Than Fiction’ Comedian and actor Will Ferrell talks about his new film Stranger Than Fiction. Ferrell plays an accountant who finds that his life has a voiceover that only he can hear. It turns out he’s the subject of a novel, and that the writer plans to kill him. Ferrell became famous as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1995 to 2002, and has gone on to star in movies such as Old School, Elf and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby On Television By […]
Comic Strip: FEED YER HEAD
PW: Kime Agine By Jesse Moynihan (WTF, right? Send your explanation to feed@phawker.com and we’ll print the most outrageous and the most accurate. FYI, there is a right answer. There is always a right answer.)
MILESTONE: Reading In Philadelphia Celebrates 275 Years Of Freedom
Philadelphia – November 08, 2006- Today America’s oldest cultural institution, the Library Company of Philadelphia, celebrates its 275th anniversary with a gala celebration. In 1731, at the age of 25, Benjamin Franklin and fifty of his friends founded the Library Company of Philadelphia so that people of moderate means could better themselves through reading. Today, 275 years later, the Library Company is the nation’s oldest continuously operating library and is home to more than 500,000 volumes documenting American history and culture from the 17th through 19th centuries. The institution continues to operate as a functioning library for the general public […]
ASSOCIATED PRESS CALLS VIRGINIA: DEMS TAKE SENATE! DEMS TAKE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES! STORM CAPITOL IN AN ASS-KICKING STAMPEDE OF BLUE THUNDER! GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN!
THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN, AND HER NAME IS TEDDY ROOSEVELT NANCY PELOSI. PHAWKER CONGRATULATES ADMIRAL JOE SESTAK, CAPTAIN PATRICK MURPHY, AND THE SANTORUM-KILLER HIMSELF, BOB CASEY JR. WE KNOW THAT YOU GUYS COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT OUR HELP, BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER AND NEVER FORGET: POWER IS A SIPPIN’ DRINK. FAT, DRUNK AND STUPID IS NO WAY TO GO THRU CONGRESS, SON. UPDATE: AP DECLARES TESTER THE VICTOR IN MONTANA, DEM CONTROL OF BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS DOWN TO WEBB/ALLEN RACE IN VIRGINIA, LATEST FIGURES HAVE DEM WEBB IS THE WINNER, […]
Being John Ashcroft: ‘COME PLAY WITH US RUMMY, FOREVER AND EVER, Amen’
DEAR MISTER PHAWKER MAN, i actually started this six years ago and I JUST finished it today. WEIRD, huh? just wondering, Jay Bevenour North Philly, YO! Dear J-Bev, A little. yer pal, The Phawker Dear The Phawker, Somewhere Rush Limbaugh sits in his skivies on his fancy bed, smearing Nancy Pelosi?s photo with feces. I can’t imagine the rabid froth the right is going to unleash on having to answer to a woman congressman representing San Francisco. But if any group of nuts needed a mommy to take them to task, it is this Republican party. Dan Buskirk The […]
HOT DOCUMENT: Reporter’s Notebook, Dateline 400 N. Broad, 1:30 PM
reception is mixed. there were rumors that the dmes [Deputy Managing Editors] had tried to stage a palace coup last week. this may be tierney‘s way of paying back their disloyalty. i can’t imagine that marimow will want to keep them on. those suspected of signing the petition for amanda‘s removal looked very glum. amanda appeared to be taking it bravely. i thought she looked relieved, though some seemed to think she was biting back tears. Some believe ann [Gordon] will stay on long enough to be the hatchet woman. as far as marimow [pictured lower right, demonstrating how he […]
JUNK SCIENCE: That Diet Coke Is Killing You
THIS WEEK’S OUTRAGE: FDA found frightening levels of the carcinogen BENZENE in popular beverages but didn’t tell the public for 16 years. ELIZABETH FIEND REPORTS: Remember that Sunny D commercial a few years back where the kids were at the cool house on the block, the house that had a fridge full-up of Sunny D where you could just run in with your sk8 helmet and elbow pads still on and grab unlimited bottles of the sunshine-y stuff? And the mom was all self-righteous as she stood aside and smiled that knowing Mom-smile, and gloated to herself: Once again I’ve […]
YOU’RE FIRED: Last Unknown-Known Finally Known
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE: Robert Gates new Non-NEO-CON Secretary of Defense, tasked with making Baker-advised cut n’ run look like Peace With Honor. Good luck to you, Sir!
LOCAL BOY MAKES GOOD: Music Man Hal Wilner Phones Home, DeLuca Accepts The Charges
On this Saturday afternoon, Willner, the record producer renowned for daring multi-artist albums such as his new The Harry Smith Project: Anthology of American Folk Music Revisited, is wearing his hat as music director of Saturday Night Live. On his desk at 30 Rock, there are Cecil Taylor and Jelly Roll Morton CDs, and across his T-shirt Chuck Berry is doing the duck walk as Willner goes about the nerve-wracking task of scoring a live television show that is being rewritten as the day goes on. […] His far-ranging musical sensibility makes Willner, 49, the perfect man for this job […]
THIS JUST IN: AMANDA BENNETT OUT AS INKY EDITOR, NPR’S BILL MARIMOW IN
Announced just minutes ago in a newsroom meeting at 400 North Broad. Also, Inquirer Editorial Page Editor Chris Satullo now to report directly to publisher Brian Tierney. More details as they come in. In the meantime, here’s Marimow’s CV: Bill Marimow is NPR?s ombudsman, a position he assumed in October 2006. Before joining NPR in May 2004, Marimow had worked in newspapers for the previous 34 years. He was editor of The Baltimore Sun for four years, beginning in 2000, and managing editor for six years before that. During his years at The Sun, the newspaper received Pulitzer Prizes for […]
FEARMONGER: Meaningless Terror War News
We will not miss stories like this clogging media arteries like a hot pork injection: Threatening Note Found on Philadelphia Plane, Prompts Search A plane that was heading to Philadelphia from San Diego, was searched after a passenger reported finding a threatening note onboard. After the flight landed around 3pm on Tuesday, it was held for about an hour, while it was searched by a bomb squad. It was searched in a remote location, and the runway where it landed was shut down.The passengers and crew that were on the plane, were transported to the terminal by bus. After the […]