i actually started this six years ago and I JUST finished it today. WEIRD, huh?
just wondering,

Jay Bevenour
North Philly, YO!

Dear J-Bev,
A little.
yer pal,

The Phawker


Dear The Phawker,

Somewhere Rush Limbaugh sits in his skivies on his fancy bed, smearing Nancy Pelosi?s photo with feces. I can’t imagine the rabid froth the right is going to unleash on having to answer to a woman congressman representing San Francisco. But if any group of nuts needed a mommy to take them to task, it is this Republican party.

Dan Buskirk
The Cool Side Of South

Dear Dan-O,

Phawker Industries Inc. doesn’t pay you to vent your bizarre man-on-Birkenstock Berkeley scat fantasies, it pays you to write groovy words about FREE JAZZ and OTHER MUSIC. I see almost nothing about FREE JAZZ or OTHER MUSIC in your letter. Now how about you put some pants on and get to work. OK?


Boss Phawker

Dear Boss Phawker
FYI, [THE RUMSFELD RESIGNS] story was broken by the Comedy Central election live blog, last night at 12:15 AM. That was being editied [sic] by former long time Philadelphian, Dennis DiClaudio. Woohoo! A Philadelphia writer/comedian broke the story!
Just sayin.’
Jen Toner
The Internet

Dear Miss Toner,
You sound hot That is TRULY cool. Thanks for sharing. Seriously. You know, it’s not just empty bluster to say the 215 did WAY MORE than its fair share of the heavy lifting in this most recent enema of the body Congress. It was a shitty job, but everybody HAD to do it. Everybody that stood up outta their wheelchair and said THERE’S GOING TOO FAR AND THEN THERE’S THIS WHICH IS SO PAST GOING TOO FAR YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE IT FROM HERE AND ENOUGH IS MOTHERFUGGING ENOUGH, who campaigned for the Good Guys, made phone calls or hung signs or knocked on doors, who bitched and organized on blogs, who wrote hard-hitting stories or even just Letters To The Editor, who got out the vote or just made the motherfuckin’ Patriotic Duty effort to pull the lever, to all of those who just did or will again and especially FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK, WE SALUTE YOU!…FIRE!

Yankee Doodle Phawker

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