Jeebus! We take off one week from hearing no evil and the bossman comes into our cubicle, unzips his fly and pisses in the bowl of Cheerios: Dryw Scully is music promotions director for Urban Outfitters. That means he’s in control of the Urban Out [sic] jukebox, picking the tracks you hear while shopping for skinny jeans at the company’s stores. Not a bad gig. Dryw Scully also manages Favourite Sons. They’re currently on the Urban Outfitters playlist. This — according to your tolerance for such things — is either a glaring and shameful conflict of interest or just kinda […]
Project S.M.E.R.C. or Wiping The Smirk Off Smerconish With The Dirty Rag Of Truth
Another regular feature here at Phawker will be truth squad-ing the wingnut memes and distortions of token DN red-stater/ Big Talker gasbag Michael Smerconish. Let us say up front that we have no reason to believe Smerconish is a bad person, per se. Nakedly ambitious, remarkably self-absorbed, a little clueless in the way all patricians are about what really happens beyond their manicured hedgerow? Sure. He’s also polite and well-spoken, especially when sending out invites to one of his this-will-get-me-on-O’Reilly-again verbal hammer parties where he smashes some easy-target liberal glass house with barely contained glee. Usually it’s some diluted-to-suit-local-taste variation […]
Public Service Announcement: Admiral Sestak Sinks Weldon’s Swift Boat Before It Leaves Dock
Daily Kos: Scalping The Chicken Hawks Previously: Weldon Says Fed Probe Sticking Out Of His Rectum Was Put There By Sneaky Dems
Comcastic: Fresh Prince To Become The Chocolate Pat Croce?
Actor/rapper Will Smith could be the latest entertainer to hold a stake in a professional basketball team. The Philadelphian is among a set of investors interested in purchasing the Philadelphia 76ers from Comcast-Spectacor, according to The Philadelphia Daily News. The group, which was assembled by basketball legend Julius “Dr. J” Erving, would like to have a meeting with officials from Comcast in the near future, a source told the newspaper. […] Recent speculation suggests that owners could ask for as much as $450 million for the Sixers, the Daily News reports, adding that the amount would represent the largest price […]
Blowback: CP ‘Prophets Of Rage’ Say Hooray For Doree! Hip-Hip Hooray! And Phuck Phawker!
First it was the Metro, and now this gauntlet-throwdown from the City Paper’s painful example of why taking a badly under-resourced and, as a result, aggressively mediocre alt-weekly on-line only makes for a droopy-dog blog, a.k.a. The Clog. Really now, ‘Prophets of Rage’? Good grief. How high was Hickey when he thought that was funny or clever? Loathe though we are to share some of our precociously large and scandal-driven foot traffic with a cyber-doorstop like the Clog, this sucker-punch-wrapped-in-a-rimjob is just too nakedly jealous and syntactically-challenged to ignore: Rave for Doree Wednesday, October 25th, 2006 at 11:48 am posted […]
Poll: How White People Are Ruining Philadelphia
From the Philadelphia Magazine web site: Previous poll results: 83 percent of you say you’re more likely to [sic] go city bars and restaurants now that the smoking ban is in place. Translation: Nobody will ever be allowed to smoke in a bar in this town again so that some Main Line duchess and her fellow yentas can go out for a wine spritzer after First Friday without getting icky Camel Light smoke all up in their Prada, before getting back in the Lexus and setting the controls for the heart of Gladwyne.
The Heads Up: PW’s Steve Volk Last To Interview Cassidy Before Da Crash, Read All About It In VIBE
Previously: Cassidy Effed Up Bad In Auto Crash CassidyMusic: Admired. Feared. Adored. And In Stitches. VIBE: When Words Attack David Cassidy: The Understudy?
AdBust: Thanks For The Mammaries
The Client: DiBello Plastic Surgery, Fixer Of God’s Little Mistakes The Creative: Agile Cat The Placement: Philadelphia Magazine, page 67, October 2006 issue The Verdict: Let us guess: The client requested “break-through-the-clutter” creative. Like a predictable John, they always do. And then you say something to the effect of: Hey shug, you want me to put on the little white socks and do some cheers again, don’tcha? Which in this case, being a plastic surge ad and all, means something outside-the-box of the usual waxed, shellacked and bikini’d bimbae but still delivers our main talking point with pitiless efficiency: You […]
The Early Word: Reading Is FUNdamental
(Got an event that needs some love? Well, you better have a badass flyer or ain’t nobody goin’ no how. Seriously. And send it to feed@phawker.com. Like, early and shit. We’ll let you know if it sux or not. Because, really, you should know.)
Advice: Ask Mother Phawker
Dear Mother Phawker, What the fuck? I mean, really, what is the point of it all? Why do I even bother when everything in the world seems irretrievably fucked? Sign me, Hating Everyone And Everything In University City Dear Cranky O’Buzzkill, Given your address, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you’re a college student. Which explains why you have the time to sit around having an existential crisis on a weekday morning, but whatever. I’m suspecting your angst is caused by either too much dope, too little sex, or a combination of both. In other […]
Sneak Preview: Borat, Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Unofficial Borat Site: One Hot Sexy Bitch On Fire!
We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It
The Changeling: Beck morphing, Lucifer rising, Tower Theater, October 23, 2006 Eva Says: Me and Beck roll like this: Him, international pop star; Me, long-time listener, first-time, um, seer. I had always hoped my first time would be one of those sheet-rippingly ecstatic moments of unalloyed ear-joy. But, Beck tonight? Not so much. I give it ‘Meh.’ When he came out in a dapper, snug-fitting vintage tuxedo and red silk bow-tie, his dirty-blonde locks grown Jesus-length, things looked promising. But in the end, the scenery — a live puppet show behind the drumkit, complete with puppet versions of the whole […]