AdBust: Thanks For The Mammaries

adbust.jpgThe Client: DiBello Plastic Surgery, Fixer Of God’s Little Mistakes
The Creative: Agile Cat
The Placement: Philadelphia Magazine, page 67, October 2006 issue

The Verdict: Let us guess: The client requested “break-through-the-clutter” creative. Like a predictable John, they always do. And then you say something to the effect of: Hey shug, you want me to put on the little white socks and do some cheers again, don’tcha? Which in this case, being a plastic surge ad and all, means something outside-the-box of the usual waxed, shellacked and bikini’d bimbae but still delivers our main talking point with pitiless efficiency: You are a hairy, big-butted baboon with cottage-cheese thighs, shame on you! How DARE you! What the picture don’t know, the copy understands. All look-at-me-I’m-alliteratin’ while I tell insecure Rittenhouse doyennes that “Yes, it’s true, you really do need the doctor whose last name is The First Name in Beautiful! Your saggy baboon butt ain’t gettin’ any smaller or less jiggly pounding Cosmos and lady fingers on a stool at Rouge in between Sharon Pinkenson and Jessica Pressler, bitch.” We also like that the good doctor’s logo has those three elegant mammarian arcs that say oh-so-subliminally, “We can give you tits the size of Jupiter if you got bank.” And really, using a canned Granny Smith photo? Stock photography of apples is ironically bad on so many levels. After all, if memory serves, the Devil promised Eve ta-ta’s-’til-Tuesday if she’d just get Adam to take a bite of that apple from the Tree of Knowledge. Turns out said “knowledge” is the horrible realization that we are all naked and flawed. That’s why, again if memory serves, only a coupla pages later in Leviticus, they invent Diet Coke.
How ya like them apples?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *