Turns out the Washington Press Corps was right. It wasn’t funny. It was sad but true. On every level.
ASK MOTHER PHAWKER: I Was So Much Older Then, I’m Younger Than That Now
Dear Mother Phawker: Is it strange that at age 22 I feel like an old fuckin’ hag who’s too loose to hang? I know all you really old people tell me that I’m still young and whatever, but being in college for four years only to come out directionless and uninspired really makes a person feel used up and pointless. Not to mention, VH1 is already running an “I Love the ’90s” series, recent parties have been annoyingly pervaded by ditzy, younger girls with higher metabolisms, and I get tired if I don’t get a full seven hours’ sleep. All […]
IN OTHER WAR NEWS: Drug War Still Goin’ Great Guns; 25 lbs. of Mary Jane Misdelivered To Frankford K-Mart Leads To Arrest of 15-Year-Old In Pharr, TX; Oddly They Not Only Know This In Wichita Falls But, Like, They Care
Philly police get blue green light special drug bust PHILADELPHIA — A 25-pound package of marijuana mistakenly delivered to a Kmart store has led police to an alleged drug packaging operation. Police received a call Saturday that employees at a Kmart in Philadelphia’s Frankford neighborhood had accidentally received a package from the South Texas border town of Pharr.Officer Steve Wallace says an employee opened the package and realized it was actually marijuana. Police say they delivered the misdirected mail to the 36-year-old addressee, who signed for the package and was arrested.Authorities say another person then picked up the package and […]
FORECAST: Still Always Sunny In Philadelphia, ALWAYS
‘Sunny’ keeps shining on FXNet brings back laffer for third season By Denise Martin of Variety FX is bringing back critically acclaimed laffer “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” for a third season. Danny DeVito has committed to continue as a series regular for all subsequent seasons. Renewal makes “Sunny” the most successful comedy on basic cable in recent years and one of the few scripted, live-action primetime laffers to make it to a third season on ad-supported cable. FX has greenlit 15 new half-hours to begin production next spring for a premiere in summer. […] Second season averaged 1.3 million […]
COMING ATTRACTION: Grumpy Old Men Returns With An Election Day Chat With The Fiercest and Most Formidable Clintonista, Sidney Blumenthal, American Journalist
During the investigations by White House independent counsel Kenneth Starr, Blumenthal was called to the Grand Jury to testify on matters related to what Clinton had told both Blumenthal and his senior staff in regards to Monica Lewinsky. It was on this occasion that Blumenthal was accused by the independent counsel of seeking to discredit the office of the counsel by passing stories to the media about Starr and his aides. The resultant statement by Blumenthal on the steps of the Grand Jury about the freedom of the press after his testimony resulted in a public fall of support for […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
Phawker luvs us some Harry Shearer and thank gawd almighty he’s on Fresh Air today: Comedian Harry Shearer has a new book called Not Enough Indians, a novel about Native Americans and gambling. He also has a role in the new film For Your Consideration, directed by Christopher Guest. Shearer is a voice actor on The Simpsons, playing the roles of Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner and many more characters. Shearer is also the host of the weekly public radio series Le Show. Fresh Air: The Trouble With Harry Harry Shearer: Don’t Get Up Nige, You’ve Got […]
ENDORSEMENTS: Inquirer Almost Gets It Right, Again
INKY EDITORIAL BOARD: In the Eighth District, Republican incumbent MIKE FITZPATRICK vows to remain a moderate in his caucus. He calls for a new Iraq strategy, understands conservation issues, and knows his district well, having served 10 years as a county official. The Democrat, Iraq veteran Patrick J. Murphy, needs more seasoning. We’re guessing this was some kind of innoculation against the inevitable cries of ‘liberal bias’ the Inquirer Editorial Board would open themselves up to out in the exurbs if they endorsed the entire Democrat side of the dance card. What a buncha pussies! Sometimes there just isn’t two […]
AdBust: PUT YOUR ARM DOWN THE WAR IS ALMOST OVER!
The Client: Pennsylvania Ballet The Creative: Joey Buttafuoco? The Placement: Page 79 of Philadelphia Magazine, November 2006 The Verdict: About this ad? It’s like Zima — it ZUCKS! Here’s the deal, we didn’t give a shit about ballet before your ad, but we almost care less after seeing it. That’s not good advertising. It just wastes our time and your money. Our question is, Who did this thing to you? And who is he blackmailing? Problem areas: Pretty much every square inch of this. Questions: Why is this woman sniffing her armpit or, just to narrow this down a little, […]
SPRINGFIELD PSA: The Wages Of Mass Disinformation
THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS: War Is Over, If You Want It.
GAYBO: First We Take Santorum; Joan Collins At The Forrest; Woody’s For Sale?
TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: It’s Election Eve 2006 and I’m just up to my ears in excitement! Now, remember to stick to the plan: First we take Santorum, then the rest of The GOP in 2008. The Hillary/Obama ticket is gonna rock those Republican bitches into the next decade! You may ask, is the world ready for a dyke and a black man? HELLS YES! If the last eight years has proven anything it is this: You simply cannot drop the soap in front of a Republican. It’s too risky. Republicans are just too unstable, too many are just barely holding […]
EVA SAYS: I Went To CMJ And All I Got Was Melisa Zuccerman’s Nametag
EVA SAYS: I wake up hung over from too much whiskey-in-a-water-bottle the previous night at Making Time. I roll over, aching, with the faint memory that I’m supposed to do something important today. Oh yeah — I’m supposed to be on a bus to New York City for the CMJ festival. It’s my first assignment like this and I feel like I’m Cameron Crowe in Almost Famous. Only, I’m 22 and not 16, this is CMJ and not an Allman Brothers tour, and it’s 2006, not 1976. Still, I’m nervous, excited and overall quite confused as to why Valania would […]
FIGHT CLUB: Beanie Strong Like Bull, Takes A VIP Lickin’ And Keeps On Motherf*ckin’ Tickin’
BEANIE SIGEL caught a beatdown from fellow rapper Mike Knox at a party at the First District Plaza (3801 Market) the weekend before last, sources say. Although the Powerhouse concert at the Wachovia Center — which had Allen Iverson and our girl Lil’ Kim among a capacity crowd – was thrown by Power 99, it was rival station 100.3 The Beat that threw an afterparty. Beanie, aka Dwight Grant, of South Philly, was in the VIP area and when Knox entered, Beanie, we’re told, began talking trash to Knox, who lives in Logan. Eventually, Beanie threw a punch, and Knox […]
MONEY $HOT: No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn
AFTER THE GOLDRUSH: Making Time, November 3rd, 2006 [Flickr]