CITIZEN MOM REPORTS: No you are not high — well, maybe you are but that doesn’t explain why pigs were flying over the Inquirer last night. You see, Inky Big Mahoff Brian P. Tierney commissioned the airborne pork ‘toon as part of a full frontal nyah-nyah-nyah over the paper’s recently posted circulation gain. The haters are still standing on tiptoe trying to get a peek at the End of Journalism As We Know It, but the Inky’s daily circulation was up 0.6 percent, or about 2,136 copies, over the last year. Think of it as the first bloom of spring […]
THE HORROR: What If You And Your Mom Killed Yourselves — And Nobody Noticed For A Year?
There wasn’t much of a mystery yesterday about how a retired police officer and his mother [NOT pictured] died. The question was why nobody missed them for more than a year.Water Department workers, responding to a report of a leak, broke into the ivy-covered brick home on Bustleton Avenue at Larkspur Street, Somerton, after their knocks went unanswered, police said. Inside, they found a ghastly scene of an apparent murder-suicide. The stench of dirty water that had soaked through the floor had mixed with the odor of death in the house. A rotted body reportedly sat in a bedroom chair, […]
T&A: Alycia Lane Bikini Incident Thinning The Herd Of Suburban Bloggers, Turns PhillyBurbs Comments’ Section Into Cauldron Of Racism And Horniness
FROM PHILLYBURBS: “Where are the Alycia Lane bikini pictures? It’s the question every man in Philly wants answered. Where can I see the Alycia Lane bikini pictures? There are several men here at phillyBurbs.com about to go on a hunger strike if these sexy bikini pics don’t turn up asap.” PHILLYBURBS: Still Sucking In The Suburbs
Stinktastic Scrapyard Fire Engulfs City In Eerie Toxic-Smelling Fog, Platt Bridge Shutdown
PHILADELPHIA — Firefighters battled a massive junkyard fire Thursday night at the base of the Platt Bridge in South Philadelphia, officials said. Stacks of scrapped cars were ablaze on the lot of Camden Iron & Metal Inc., located at South 26th Street and Penrose Avenue, NBC 10 reported. The Platt Bridge was closed in both directions. Fire officials reported the fire went to two alarms before being placed under control at 10:36 p.m. A crane on the site appeared to be trying to remove cars from the path of the fire, which NBC 10’s Mike Strug reported may have begun […]
TODAY I SAW…
BY JEFF DEENEY “Today I saw…” is a series of nonfiction shorts based on my experiences as a caseworker serving formerly homeless families now living in North and West Philadelphia. I decided not long after starting the job that I was seeing so many fascinating and disturbing things in the city’s poorest neighborhoods that I needed to start cataloging them. I hope this bi-weekly column serves as a record of a side of the city that many Philadelphians don’t come in contact with on a daily basis. I want to capture moments not frequently covered by the local media, which […]
AUTHOR AUTHOR: Q&A W/ Nathan Englander
BY MAVIS LINNEMANN BOOK CRITIC Eight years after the critically-acclaimed short story collection The Relief of Unbearable Urges, Nathan Englander’s first novel, The Ministry of Special Cases, finally hit bookstores on May 1. This harrowing novel takes place during Argentina’s Dirty War (1976-1983), during which the junta government “disappeared” somewhere between 9,000 and 30,000 suspected dissidents and subversives, mostly students and liberals. Kaddish Poznan, hijo de puta (son of a whore) and outcast in the Jewish community, makes his living by erasing the names of wanton Jewish ancestors (pimps, whores and gangsters) from their gravestones on requests from more respectable […]
Fishtown Group Says ‘Sodom & Gomorrah? Bring It On!’
BY RONNIE POLANECZKY FISHTOWN ACTION isn’t waiting until May 15 to say whether a casino would be a good thing for the community. The newly minted pro-casino group wants to go on record, right here at Holy Name of Jesus Parish Hall, as being thrilled that SugarHouse Casino wants to build in the neighborhood. In fact, they say, the sooner SugarHouse can bring its 1,100 new jobs to the city, the better. These are jobs offering good salaries, benefits and pensions — and, in many cases, don’t require a college degree. Something not every Fishtowner has, or even wants to […]
LIVE AND DIRECT: Tom Knox For The Deaf
JONATHAN VALANIA REPORTS: Being a rich man trying to buy back City Hall for the common man in a city where the common man holds a profound mistrust of rich men is a fairly thankless job. You can almost see the weight of that burden dragging down the raw-boned, hang-dog face of Tom Knox. Which again brings us back to why anyone would want to be mayor. When your explanation for why you want to be mayor makes people want to ask you again ‘why the hell you want to be mayor?’ — well, you better have deep pockets. Marty […]
What Kind Of Man Reads Phawker? A Loverman!
FUCKIN’ A RIGHT: Andrew WK, First Unitarian, Last Night EVA SAYS: For those of you who know Andrew W.K. as the blood drenched, body thrashing, party maniac responsible for hits such as I Get Wet, We Want Fun and Party Hard –– get ready for a whole new Andrew: Andrew the compassionate humanitarian and spiritual guru. He feels your pain, and he will try to tell you what it all means, too. As if to demonstrate his more refined side, this Andrew opened up his Q&A session with a beautiful classical piano piece first. Then he broke out the idiosyncratic […]
GIMME FICTION: The Manton Chronicles
BY MIKE NEWALL At that time Ronnie Stimola was my next-door neighbor. Ronnie was 33 and lived with his girlfriend Dina in the second-floor apartment of a rowhouse owned by his mother. Ronnie hung around with Gooch Amari. Ronnie and Gooch had been robbing neighborhood grocers on and off since high school. First, the old-school nigger grocers along 7th Street, then the gook take-out stores along Washington Avenue, and then the Mexican grocers that began popping up around 9th Street. It was a couple hundred dollars when they needed it. But then Gooch shot the Mexican in the eye, […]
THIS YOU MUST SEE
Wow.
EARLY WORD: Weimar Republicans
[Click image to activate Internet] More about the Weimar Republic HERE