BY ST. JOHN BARNED-SMITH OLYMPIC CORRESPONDENT Well, hopefully this is not news to you – if it is, my columns have not sparked the appropriate level of US Olympic Swimming ardor that I’m looking for from all of you. Phelps won his fourth and fifth gold medals yesterday, in the 4×200 free relay and the 200 butterfly. The relay was the fun race to watch because the US team didn’t so much as beat their opponents as they did spank them silly. USA! USA! So Phelps took the lead over the four Olympians who were tied for the most golds […]
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GOLDFINGER: Michael Phelps Snags Fifth Gold Making Him The Most Decorated Olympian In Olympic History
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] BY ST. JOHN BARNED-SMITH OLYMPIC CORRESPONDENT First things first: I want to call your attention to this amazing race, my favorite by far of Phelps and company. Phelps actually led the relay, swimming a scorching 47.5 seconds for the leg of the relay. Now, unlike other swim events, individual relay legs are almost uniformly faster than the same distance might be in a stand-alone event. There are two reasons for this – one, a swimmer can anticipate when to dive, instead of having to react to a bell or air horn. You’ll see your teammate zooming […]
BEIJING: Why Michael Phelps Sleeps With The Fishes
BY ST. JOHN BARNED-SMITH, OLYMPIC CORRESPONDENT: Right, Phawkerites. Late to the party, but hopefully still fashionably so, I come bringing a crash course in the US phenom that is Michael Phelps and Olympic swimming. I’ll be updating you every day until the conclusion of his quest to win eight gold medals at this Olympics. As I’m writing this, Phelps has just attempted his 200-meter freestyle race and the won the semifinals in the 200 meter butterfly. For those of you who didn’t spend their formative years in the pool, here’s a basic rundown of Olympic swimming and Phelps’ quest this […]
PAPERBOY: Special Kill, Kill, Kill Edition
BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is … so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]