NORML: On Wednesday the Obama administration for the second time in two years issued a Department of Justice memorandum regarding the state-sanctioned use and production of medical cannabis. However, unlike the release of the 2009 ‘Ogden memo,’ which the administration promoted with great fanfare, the issuance of this week’s ‘Cole memorandum’ is strategically being downplayed by the Justice Department. As for the content of the memo, which you can read in full here, it’s hardly surprising — particularly in light of the administration’s recent, and highly public threats to lawmakers in states wishing to enact medical marijuana laws or expand […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Job Killing For Electoral Gain
[Artwork by WMXDESIGN] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY What the Republican party is doing to the American economy is the most detestably intentional attempt to ensure failure since Tonya Harding & Co. brought down Nancy Kerrigan. Never before in their often sullied history have congressional Republicans purposely acted with such disdainful disregard for the best economic interests of the American people. Sound disparaging? Hell, the words I’d really like to use in describing these lying, cheating, elitist, two-faced, hypocritical, obstructionist, bottom-feeding bastards would likely be censored by even the most “liberated” publications. Throughout the campaigns leading up to the 2010 elections, […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Less Guns, More Butter
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Let’s be clear about a few things right from the start: 1) In matters concerning budget balancing and deficit reduction, America doesn’t have a “welfare” problem, it has a “warfare” problem; 2) With respect to solutions, one party concedes that all government expenditures must be on the table, the other says the same, but lies; 3) I’d love to argue these points with some really smart, fair-minded right-wingers, but that’s an oxymoron. Here are what any RATIONAL person would have to agree are some altogether indefensible U.S. “warfare” facts: A) America spends as much on its military as […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Uncommon Sense
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY It’s official. She’s running, and she says she’s going to bring “the voice of common sense” to the White House (a revelation that no doubt brought an even more deeply furrowed brow to the faces of those still trying to figure out which planet she commutes from). Recognizing Miss Sensible’s all-too-self-effacing nature, I think it’s only fitting that I cite a few past examples of Michele’s “common sense” utterings so that those who may be unfamiliar with these quasi-cum-laudables might join in appreciation of the intellectual depth and derring-do exhibited by this nimble-minded master of malapropism. […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Fault, Dear Brutus, Is Not With Our Weiners, But With Ourselves
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Kudos to the American media and public at large! With the Anthony Weiner revelations, and the public’s insatiable appetite for the details thereof, the bar has now been set so low for profiting from salaciousness that paparazzi nationwide will no doubt soon be selling exposés of religious school valedictorians voraciously devouring issues of Playboy (for the interviews, of course). Christ, you have got to be kidding me! It’s now front page news as well as fodder for every bottom feeding Breitbart in the country that a congressman tweeted a picture of his […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Long Live Dr. Death Dignity
[Artwork by JACK ROUX] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY We ought to declare Friday, June 3rd, National Human Rights Day and nickname it JK Day in recognition of one of the human rights movement’s most honorable, tireless and least appreciated champions. It’s the day Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the perennially outgunned “David” in his valiant war against the rights robbing Goliaths of government and religion, finally got his oh-so-well-deserved enduring day of rest. God knows he gave it his best. I, for one, would like to express my sincerest sorrow over the passing of a man willing to spend more than EIGHT […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Pounding Sand
[Illustration by Ajda Gregor?i?] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I just finished reading a column in the New York Times by Stanley Fish titled “What’s up with the Jews?” The article poses the question of whether it’s ever possible for any of us to completely eliminate anti-semitic characterizations of Jews from whatever opinions we may form, or conclusions we may draw, with reference to any particular Jewish affected action or stance. In conclusion he offers this statement with respect to the Israeli/Palestinian situation: “Those who offer the criticism can never quite be sure that their distaste for Israel’s actions with respect […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Big Brother’s Holding Co.
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Be afraid, people, be very afraid. Of the Taliban, al Qaeda, or terrorism in general? No. Street gangs, career criminals, or crime altogether? Nope. Rising prices at the pump and on grocery store shelves, or inflation overall? Not even close. Folks, I’ve got something to tell you about that should raise every hair on the back or your neck and send a stampede of shivers right through your soul! It’s called the National Security Agency or NSA. It’s headquartered in Fort Meade, MD, and your hard earned tax dollars–a whole bunch of them–as well as your […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Goldman Sachs Of Sh*t
[Illustration by thadkellstadt] BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Has there ever been a more contemptible crew of con artists in the history of mankind?! Clearly Goldman Sachs has molded financial flimflam into an art form even John Myatt couldn’t envision. From deceptive foreign debt transactions to spurious mortgage-backed securities sales, this unprincipled pack of predators has left a trail of half-eaten carcasses stretching from the pillars of the Parthenon to the cul-de-sacs of suburban California — all the while reaping reprehensible profits for themselves and more than earning the dubious distinction of being Wall Street’s most cunning capitalistic carnivores. In the case of Greece, as […]
SHOCKING: Book Claims Roswell UFO Crash Was Actually Saucer Sent By Stalin, Piloted By Nazi Mutants
BLOOMBERG: Citing interviews with a single unnamed former engineer from government contractor EG&G — now part of URS Corp. (URS) — Jacobsen purports to lift the veil on what really crashed near Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947 and what happened to the wreckage when it got to Nevada. The craft, she writes, wasn’t an alien spaceship, as many have since theorized, nor was it a weather balloon, as the U.S. military alleged in its clumsy cover story. It was, according to Jacobsen, a Nazi-inspired Soviet spy plane with Cyrillic letters embossed on the hull, crewed by malformed adolescents, two of […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Religious Right Is Wrong
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The following can be found in in Article 6 of the U.S. Constitution: No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States. Really? That being the case, I wonder why I can’t find corresponding language EXEMPTING participants in such “intercourses of congenial spirits” as the two-day all-expenses-paid (by their congregations no doubt) Pastors Policy Briefing which was held in Des Moines, Iowa on March 24th? Must have been written in disappearing ink. Conferences under the same guise have been held over the past few years […]
THE AUDACITY OF DOPES: Rove Calls Common ‘A Thug’; Palin Outraged, Though Not Anti-Rap, Mind You, She Knows The Words To ‘Rapper’s Delight’!
ROLLING STONE: The right wing shows no signs of letting the manufactured controversy over Common’s White House invitation die. Even though last night’s Evening of Poetry went off without a hitch, Fox News and other right-wing outlets continue to devote ever more attention to the issue. At the event, Common didn’t address the firestorm surrounding his 2007 poem “Letters To The Law” – which conservative pundits have seized upon as evidence of his anti-Americanism. Instead, he read a work that referenced both Martin Luther King Jr. and President Obama, who hugged the Chicago rapper at the end of the evening. […]
Koch Brother Says Obama Deserves Zero Credit For Getting Osama, Calls Prez A ‘Hardcore Socialist’
DAVID KOCH: “I don’t think he contributed much at all. He just made the decision, it was obvious where the guy is. He was one of the worst terrorists organizing attacks on the United States. I mean, no president in his right mind would not approve that decision to go eliminate him. So he’s getting a lot of recognition and his polls have jumped up, but his decision was the easiest of them all. The real hard work was done by the intelligence and the SEALs.” MORE THINK PROGRESS: “Obviously, the SEALs did the work here. But making decisions is […]