EULOGY: Fair Thee Well Leaning TOWER of Song

KING BRITT REMEMBERS: Tower Records totally changed my whole life. I worked there in ’88, for four years. In high school I was a music nerd, so naturally I desperately wanted to work at Tower. I started as bag check dude, but moved up to 12″ singles buyer and New Age buyer in a matter of six months. Everyone who worked there were masters at their craft, and their passion for music was amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed the “team work” vibe. We all went on to do great things. Renny Harris, a major choreographer and dancer; James Bond, who owns […]

Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger

There something sick going on in Atlantic City, or shall we say something sicker than usual, which is really saying something. The Inquirer and Daily News have been reporting — and we’ve been echoing — what the cops won’t say: a monster lurks in A.C. And no, we are not just talking about Gamblor. Though authorities refuse to label him as such, a serial killer has wasted four street walkers, dumping their bodies in a drainage ditch in the briny swamplands nearby, all within a stone’s throw of each other, all facing East, towards Atlantic City. Fox News, no stranger […]

STOP THE FUCKIN’ PRESSES: If The INKY Rank n’ File Don’t Give A Damn, Why The HELL Should We?

EDITORIAL: So the Guild has a meeting last night at a synagogue near 400 North Broad street to discuss the new contract their negotiators fought tooth and nail for, shitty as it may be. And you know what? Out of nearly 1,000 guild members only 200 bothered to show up. Reminds of that great Mickey Rourke line from Rumblefish where someone asks him what California was like and he says something to the effect of: She’s like a beautiful girl on heroin, she’s high as a kite thinkin’ she’s on top of the world, not knowin’ she’s dyin’ even if […]

HOLLA: J-Kenn, Straight Outta The 610, Lord Help Us

THE WOOK SPEAKS: You gotta at least give Jamie Kennedy a shout on this front — he’s easily the second best performer ever to emerge from the 19082 — a few paces behind Tina Fey and a good mile ahead of the dead heat that is the chick from the “Blair Witch Project” and the corpse of Jim Croce. Which is to say that when “Scream” was the shizzy back in ’96, J-Kenn was assuredly Upper Darby’s Great White Hope.Which explains why 10 years on, he’s put out a rap album. Actually, the tense on that should be past, as […]

SMELLS LIKE JOURNALISM: Daily News Does Due Diligence, Puts Boots On The Ground In Atlantic City’s Sex Trade, Does Not Shy Away From Calling A Ho A ‘Ho’

Heaven and scores of other prostitutes who linger in this seaside town of glittery casinos and seedy motels know they’re playing a game far more risky than anything inside the casinos. Death has stared them in the face since four decayed bodies were found in a drainage ditch three weeks ago. All the victims were women. Three were known to Atlantic City police as prostitutes. A task force of local cops, state police and the FBI has descended on the slimiest sections of the city to trace the steps of a possible serial killer. “Sometimes I think to myself, ‘I […]

Crazy Painterman From Sesame Street Seen Lurking At McCarter

The Mad Painter was the title character in a series of live-action films on Sesame Street. Produced for the program’s third season, the film inserts used comedic slapstick to teach number recognition, emphasizing the symbolic representation of the numeral, and how it is drawn, in contrast to The Baker Films, which stressed counting and quantity. The painter character is an eccentric whose hobby is painting numbers (between 2 and 11) in various public and private places. Armed with a set of number stencils, he would begin each skit by announcing the number he intended to paint, but often missed his targets. […]

COVER WARS: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

The CP‘s royal billiard Tanenbaum actually pops quite nicely at this size, but when you pull it out of the box and hold it in your hands for some reason it just screams WE ARE OUT OF IDEAS. Which only makes PW‘s smashing pumpkin orange navel-gazer seem more brilliant than it actually is. Still, outies are sexy. WINNER: PW, by a landslide

Stop The Presses: It’s Official, Philebrity Is Megaphone Of THE MAN, Phawker Is Soapbox Of THE PEOPLE

Breaking: Tierney Speaks To PN Rank & File, Makes Stunning Use Of Bold Italics December 7, 2006 To: PN Employees From: Brian Tierney An Open Letter to Employees: At the very beginning of negotiations with our unions, I said that I would treat our discussions with confidentiality and respect, and not negotiate in public. However, with all the rhetoric going around, I feel we must separate some facts from fiction. Let me highlight a few examples. We are not proposing to take away anyone’s pension benefit. The Pension Fund is federally guaranteed. We are only proposing to no longer make […]

SMELLS LIKE JOURNALISM: Inky Puts Boots On The Ground, Does Due Diligence On Tribe’s Quest To Build Riverfront Slot Wigwam & Collect Bluehair Wampum

“The Pequots and other tribes began gambling operations on reservation land under the 1988 Indian Gaming Rights Act. In Connecticut, the tribe was permitted to offer bingo and table games, such as poker and blackjack, which were legal in the state. Slot machines were not, so the Pequots opened a table games casino in 1992 by expanding the original bingo hall.[…] For the 12 months ending June 30, Connecticut took in $204.5 million from Foxwoods, according to the state Division of Special Revenue, the agency that tracks all forms of gambling in Connecticut. It received an additional $224 million from […]

STOP THE PRESSES: 457 Articles About THE STRIKE Add Up To A LOT Of Dead Trees And Not Much News

Taken as mash-up, the incompleteness of this moment, repeated over and over again, is actually quite hypnotic and we find it helps to pass the time until some actual news happens, here you try… Papers, Union Continue Contract Talks Houston Chronicle — United States – 7 hours ago WASHINGTON POST By JOANN LOVIGLIO AP Writer. — 2006 AP. PHILADELPHIA — The largest union at Philadelphia’s two biggest newspapers resumed contract … Philly Papers, Union Talks to Continue Forbes, NY — 19 hours ago By DEBORAH YAO 12.03.06, 1:58 AM ET. The largest union at Philadelphia’s two biggest newspapers reported some progress […]

Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

Allow us to break the code on the City Paper’s cover: Nobody felt like cranking out a cover story over Thanksgiving so they farmed it out to poetess/childhood sex abuse survivor/activist Samantha Barrow who gets on her hawg and workshops her way across the U.S. of A. swinging heavy-duty sharp-as-an-axe free verse like Shiva The Destroyer:     Why I am grateful for my sexual traumas, particularly the childhood stuff Because I earned every poem / orgasm the hard way stroking with sutures my heart to my cunt loving my body more intimately since she has wrestled me down with […]