Mom, Dad, Ladies And Gentlemen Of the Jury, We Give You 174 Newspaper Stories That All Start With The Words BROTHER OF PHILADELPHIA MAYOR INDICTED, You Must Be So Proud

Philadelphia mayor’s brother indicted PHILADELPHIA, Nov. 28 (UPI) — Philadelphia Mayor John Street’s brother has been charged with fraud and tax evasion for allegedly selling his presumed influence to an airport contractor. Milton Street and two employees of Philadelphia Airport Services were charged in a lengthy federal indictment. The company was a joint venture formed to bid on a maintenance contract at Philadelphia International Airport and Northeast Philadelphia Airport. U.S. Attorney Patrick Meehan said that the company hired Street in 2002, paying him $30,000 a month, because executives believed he would help the company keep its contract, NBC10 reported. “Milton […]

HOT DOCUMENT: Inky/DN Guild Memo

FROM THE DESK OF SGT. BYKO: TAKE PERSONAL STUFF HOME Please remove personal items that you use or value from the workplace before expires at midnight Thursday, November 30. If a strike becomes necessary, you will not be allowed to enter the building to retrieve your belongings. Your bargaining committee is working hard to avert a strike. If one becomes necessary it will be because the new owners are being too aggressive in seeking to force us to help pay for their purchase of our newspapers. Keep working until you hear from your union officers that a strike has been […]

Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

This week it’s kind of a no-brainer and besides after last week’s Moby Dick-sized Cover Warz tell-all we’re gonna keep this one short but sweet — for the winner that is. The loser, of course, will spend a week munching the cold and bitter turkey sandwich of shame, doubt and self-recrimination. But please, don’t take it too hard. Remember, this is only a game. And so, onto the commentary: CP laid this bizarre egg of a cover image that looks, best we can tell, like a bird-on-man gang rape to illustrate their WHY PHILLY ACTUALLY SUX self-haterade. Remember City Paper, […]

STOP THE PRESSES: Uncle Sgt. Byko Says Grace

“As we prepare for Thanksgiving Day, we imagine the new owners of the Philadelphia Inquirer, Daily News and philly.com sitting down in their more-than-comfortable homes for an elaborate meal with their families. They have a lot for which to be thankful. They have great wealth. They are smart, they have worked hard, and they have earned it. They enjoy secure jobs, they enjoy secure income, they enjoy secure retirement plans, they enjoy the peace of mind of knowing their families will never do without. Why would they deny some of the same peace of mind to their employees, who also […]

THE BLOGS ARE COMING, THE BLOGS ARE COMING, RUN! Media Criticism Doesn’t HAVE To Be This Clueless

Or compromised. Unless your name is Ted Beitchman, and you are still — STILL, after four years — trying to punch a hole in the Philly mediascape with that glossy money-pit/inept score-settler/high-priced coupon flyer known as REALPHILLY — and getting about as far as a renegade spermatazoan trying to break on thru a Trojan Extra Thick. Hat tip to reader Philly Guy for the heads up. He reads it so we don’t have to. But check this sad swing at wannabe 215 Murdoch-ism. We just happen to speak Beitchman, so let us translate: Pay no mind to that moonbat slander […]

NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

Radio Times with Marty Moss-Coane Wednesday, November 22nd Hour 1 Aside from Thomas Eakins’ painting “The Gross Clinic” at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, what other important works are in hospitals, schools, and non-museum institutions in Philadelphia? We talk with MICHAEL LEJA, Professor of American Art at the University of Pennsylvania and PENNY BALKIN BACH, Executive Director of the Fairmount Park Art Association. Hour 2 Being on your best behavior during the holidays. We talk manners with Johns Hopkins professor PM FORNI, author of “Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct.” Then, New York Times ethicist RANDY COHEN helps us […]

TRIBUTE: Nobody Will Love You Like Robert Altman Loved You

BY DAN BUSKIRK Last year I was teaching a summer film appreciation class to a bunch of middle-schoolers. You know what it\’s like if you?’re trying to pick out a film for any group, it’s impossible to come up with anything that somebody in the crowd isn’t going to roll their eyes at, but I’ve been doing this for a few years and I’ve come up with a batch of movies that really seem to work with kids. Still, I always want to try out something I haven’t shown before so last summer I decided to try out Robert Altman’s […]

SGT. BYKO, INKY/DN Labor Mouthpiece, Responds To New Papers-Of-Record Owner’s Alleged Plans To Import Scab Labor Over The Internet; No Word Yet On Rumored Plans To Replace Newsroom With Cheap Migrant Labor Or Just The Standard 50 Monkeys With 50 Typewriters

VIA BYKO: If They Did It: Here’s How Philadelphia Media Holdings Would Hire Scabs Nov. 21, 2006 Contact: Stu Bykofsky Philadelphia Media Holdings, the company that cries poverty while demanding devastating cuts from Guild members, seems to be gearing up to spend a fortune on scabs to produce our papers and drive our trucks. The Philadelphia Weekly reported today that an ad seeking “replacement workers” (aka scabs) was recently posted on careerbuilder.com. The mystery company seeks scabs to come to an East Coast city to work as reporters, photographers, graphic artists, news assistants and truck drivers in the event of […]

NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

On Fresh Air today….actress PARKER POSEY. She’s currently co-starring in her fourth Christopher Guest comedy “For Your Consideration.” From NEW YORK magazine: What looks like wackiness to the untrained eye is actually, in the estimation of a certifiable comic genius like Christopher Guest, the spontaneity that is crucial to the success of his improvised films?the mark of the perfect supporting player, who knows when to yield a scene to other actors and who can just as easily elicit laughs without saying anything at all. “When someone acts like they’re listening and isn’t really listening, that’s what it looks like: ‘Look, […]

LEGAL LANDMARK: Bloggers Can’t Be Sued For The Secondhand Smoke of Libel

Wow, if this ain’t legal manna falling from the heavens ‘neath the robes of the California State Supreme Court, we’ll name our first born Stare Decisis: Nov. 20 (Bloomberg) — The California Supreme Court said Internet publishers can’t be held liable if they post defamatory comments written by others, a victory for online companies like Google Inc. and Time Warner Inc.’s America Online Inc. The court, in a unanimous decision, said those claiming defamation can only sue the original source of the allegedly offending comments, not publishers or distributors, even if the distributor is an individual. Internet users are protected […]

HOLLA: Yo A.D. Let’s Just Backdafucup Un Momento, And J To The Hova BRUTHAS AND SISTAS!

THE WOOK REPORTS: Hold, up Amorosi. Gimme that Webster’s-ready recap of Jay-Z‘s “Hangar Tour” again, will ya? “Titled the Hangar Tour, the event had Jay-Z fly cross-country in his G5 jet to play 30-minute sets in airports and intimate venues beginning in Atlanta at 6:30 a.m., then Philadelphia, Washington, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Las Vegas.” [From Sunday’s Inky] No offense, holmes, but last I checked, the Electric Factory was about as intimate as Mark Foley at a sorority mixer. Sure, Saturday’s show was in the early a.m., but just because you share morning breath with a thousand other […]