Someone important once said: Writing about comedy is like square-dancing about acupuncture. Or they should have. And now, for all intents and purposes, it has been said. And not a moment too soon, because PW rock’s its first, and possibly last, annual Humor Issue this week and boy are my arms tired! Props for the 411 on local laugh shacks and the aspiring showbiz Sheckys that fill them with hot air, laughing gas and two-drink-minimum guffaws. Which reminds us, did you ever hear the one about the lollipop and the jump rope? Skip it, it sucks. [insert rimshot here] Yeah, […]
PHOODIE: Continental Knocked Off, Gunmen Order $10,000 Worth Of Black Sesame Crab Cakes And Boneless Duck With Tamarind Glaze, Leave Shitty Tip
Stephen Starr says that surveillance videos from the Continental (138 Market St.) have been turned over to police after the popular nightspot was held up last week. Two armed men wearing ski masks snuck into a side entrance of the Continental about 2 a.m. on Jan. 18. They threatened employees at gunpoint and made off with $10,000, an investigator with Central Detectives told the Daily News‘ Christine Olley. Reached yesterday, Starr was hesitant to discuss the incident, but praised police for “doing a terrific job trying to catch these guys and doing a great job in cleaning up Old City.” […]
GUNCRAZY: Son Who Shot Stepdad, Repeatedly, Over Denial Of Laundry Privileges, Still At Large
A West Philadelphia teenager allegedly pumped several bullets into his stepdad yesterday morning, and investigators said the shooting was preceded by an argument over laundry. Arlen Briddell, 18, stopped by his mother’s home, on Broomall Street near 55th, hoping to do some laundry about 9 a.m., police said. Briddell’s stepfather, local hospital worker William Green, had asked Briddell to move out around Christmas and stuck to his word, declining the laundry request, police said. But Briddell screamed, “If you don’t get out of my way, you won’t make it to work tonight!” and then chased his stepdad into a bedroom, […]
HOLLA: Note To Self, Make Chuck D. A Man
BY JAMES DOOLITTLE It takes about all of five minutes for the uneasiness to begin while watching Byron Hurt’s “Beyond Beats and Rhymes: A Hip-Hop Head Weighs in on Manhood in Hip-Hop Culture.” It’s a sense of imminent dread that has nothing to do with the focus of the film, but rather the perceived vanity of its director. With a front-ended bio that firmly establishes Hurt as the former quarterback of the Northeastern University football team — that’s right, THE Northeastern University football team — chopped together with plenty of runwayesque shots of our strapping narrator/director/star, there’s a strong sense […]
GUNCRAZY: COP MOM SHOOTS SON, DEAD
(CBS 3) PHILADELPHIA An apparent argument between a Philadelphia Police officer and her son ended with his death Tuedsay night. Authorities said the 16-year-old was fatally shot inside the family’s home near 57th and Girard Streets around 9:30 p.m. Police said the teen was shot while struggling with his mother for her gun. He was rushed to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where he was pronounced dead. Internal affairs is investigating the deadly incident. KYW: That Is Fucked UP
Lost Album Of Local-ish Theremin Virtuoso Found
In 1927 The New York Times reported from Berlin about an astounding recent invention: a box with a brass rod and ring that, when the inventor moved his hands around them, produced a violinlike sound of “extraordinary beauty and fullness of tone.” “He created music out of nothing but motions in the air,” the article said. The inventor was Leon Theremin (born Lev Termen), a young Russian scientist whose fascinating life would later include spying for Soviet intelligence, serving time in a Siberian labor camp and inventing a host of things, including electronic bugs, an early television and an electronic […]
GAMBLOR: One-Armed Bandit Rolls Local Man
A retired carpenter in his mid-50s was playing a slot machine at PhiladelphiaPark Casino on Monday when a gambler next to him leaned over and said, “Hey! It looks like you’ve won a bonus.” Stephen Wilkinson, of Feasterville, could hardly believe his eyes. “My name came across the screen – ‘Congratulations. You are the power player jackpot winner. You’ve won $102,000.’ “ His joy was short-lived, however. Casino officials soon walked over and told him it was a mistake – a system malfunction. They said he had no money coming. “They offered me two comps for the buffet,” Wilkinson said […]
START THE PRESSES: In New Era Of Philly Newspapering, Less Is More, More Or Less
PHILADELPHIA (AP) — The Philadelphia Inquirer plans to unveil a news “express” section in early February to attract busy readers, one of several strategies to boost readership that also include a sponsored TV guide and new Web sites for local car and real estate listings. “We have a plan to turn this business around,” Brian Tierney, publisher of the Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News, said in an interview with The Associated Press. “I don’t want to say it’s going to be easy, and certainly we’re not going to solve the problems of the media industry … but we’re going to […]
INFINITE JEST: Upper Darby Commuter Memorizes Pi
On Friday, the Upper Darby resident was certified as the North American record-holder for memorizing digits of the mathematical constant. He spewed out 12,887 digits, to be exact — a feat that took him 3 hours and 40 minutes. For those whose math skills are a little fuzzy, that’s the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. It begins with 3.14159265 and never stops, never repeating the same pattern — a string of digits that has captivated both numbers buffs and those looking for a deeper mystical meaning. “I was really proud of him that he did it,” said […]
HOT DOCUMENT: Liz Spikol Gets A Job!
—–Original Message—– From: Tim Whitaker [REDACTED] Sent: Tuesday, January 23, 2007 10:59 AM To: REDACTED Subject: Liz Spikol Most of you know this news by now, but in case you didn’t get the official word, it’s true: Liz will be leaving PW as our full-time senior editor. Her last day is this Friday. Obviously, we’re all in denial. The good news is that Liz will continue to do her “Trouble” column, her blog and the “Liz Spikol’s Philadelphia” twice-monthly video with Jess Fuerst. Liz is leaving to become communications manager for the Pennsylvania Prison Society, a nonprofit social justice organization […]
ROCK SNOB: Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Rock Town Hall Is Now Open To All! Let The Great National Debate Begin!
Rock Town Hall was founded to carry on and expand late-night turntable debates on self-important issues in rock. In 2002, we convened as a private discussion list among a baker’s dozen of opinionated, music-loving friends. In time we grew to a virtual Who the Hell Does He Think He Is? among rock musicians, journalists, DJs, record collectors, and assorted rock nerds. Although we continue to possess little power to influence the state of rock ?n roll, we delight in the battle and seek the cultivation of occasionally novel perspectives on the genre. Now we’re throwing the doors of Rock Town […]
HIZZONER ’07: Rain Or Shine, BIG BOB Is In To Win
MEDIA ADVISORY BOB BRADY TO ANNOUNCE CANDIDACY FOR MAYOR Monday, January 22, 2007 (PHILADELPHIA) – Congressman Bob Brady will announce his candidacy for Philadelphia mayor on Thursday, laying out a comprehensive agenda for making the community safer, improving public schools, strengthening the economy, and lowering the tax burden for small businesses and families. The announcement is scheduled for: 5:00 PM Thursday, January 25 Philadelphia Convention Center Room 204 UPDATE: Johnny Doc Will NOT Run, Coincidence? We Think Not?
GAYBO: WHEN GAYS GET PISSED
BY TOMMY ZANE There are a lot of things that can put a queen in a mood. The right to not marry, Red Cross’ homophobic ban on blood-donating by ALL gay men, still in effect since the eighties, and dumbasses that ask you about the “Iggles game” in the elevator at work, assuming you give a damn. Just to name a few. This week, I experienced three of my favorites: Gaybo’s Pet Peeve #1: Let’s start with pets — dogs to be exact. Dear Straight Friend Colette and her hunky husband Cliff live down in Old City. (They bought a […]