Butt Plug Boy To Be Deported Back To Iraq

Fadhel Al-Maliki, a 35-year-old Iraqi national living in Atlantic City, N.J., had been flagged by security officials at LAX and was undergoing a secondary “selectee screening” when he set off a metal detector. As Al-Maliki was being detained, his two bags were loaded on to US Airways Flight 1422, which took off for Philadelphia with 143 passengers and six crew members on board, said Liz Landau, a spokeswoman for the airline. Al-Maliki, a former security guard, told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and […]

GAMBLOR: City Council To Consider Quaint Notion Of Actually Giving Philadelphians Say In Casino Schemes

City Council could soon vote on putting a question to voters this May, on the future of the city?s slots parlors. A super majority of 12 votes would be needed by City Council for this ballot question to go to voters in May. The question involves changes to city zoning that effectively would bar casinos from just about every part of town. The mayor opposes this, leaving Councilman Frank DiCicco perplexed: ?I would just wonder if the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania decided to put a nuclear power plant down at Delaware and Reed, would the city?s position be the same? I […]

Inky & DN Join Phawker In The National Chorus Of Editorials Calling For Attorney General To Resign

INQUIRER: He should resign Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales should resign. If he ever does, the nation could take it as a clear sign that President Bush finally grasps the need to preserve core civil liberties while guarding against terrorism. It would also be a sign that the president grasps that the Justice Department is at least one part of the government that should be free from the all-politics-all-the-time approach of his Karl Rove-led White House team. Until the day Gonzales does the right thing — or it’s demanded of him — Americans must assume that their president doesn’t get […]

PW’s Steven Wells Rips Sweeney’s Shameless Shilling, But Fails To Disclose Status As Comcast’s Bitch

The living god-king of Philadelphia hipsters recently jumped the shark in the most embarrassing manner possible. You know who I mean. He needs no introduction. Yesterday he was the maharaja of Philly cool, the super-groovy gossip blogger, the dude who put the “pst” into hipster. Today he’s snot on a crack whore’s stocking. His crime against credibility? In a horrifically badly judged Philadelphia magazine advertorial, the god-king posed in the back of a “free” car — ridiculously resplendent in his trademark ironic girl’s coat and not-so-ironic no-sex specs — and gushed about his sponsors’ products (go to www.philadelphiawilldo.com for the […]

POP IN TAPE: Hot Wax In The 215

BY MICHAEL FICHMAN I’ve worked on and off in sports journalism (professional, then amateur) for about seven years now. Periodically, the small-mindedness of a niche-interested group becomes apparent. For example, when a talented football player like Barry Sanders retires before his time, sportswriters lose their fucking minds. “How could he do that? He’s just walking away?!” When Michael Jordan came back for the umpteenth time (or decided to play baseball for that matter), people whined that he was tarnishing his legacy, as if MJ himself hadn’t created it. Most sportswriters and hardcore sports fans were once aspiring athletes, moon-shooting idealistic […]

REVIEW: The Shins, Electric Factory, Last Night

EVA SAYS: So, you’d think after all these years of waiting to see The Shins, my first show would have been some meaningful notch on my concert bedpost or something. What a silly expectation that was. At best, maybe I got excited for the first ten seconds of each song. But then the initial thrill of recognition would fade and I would be back to underwhelmed. Mostly I blame myself. After all, my friends did try to warn me off: “The Shins suck, you loser Zach Braff fan!” (For the record: I do not like Zach Braff nor was I […]

Man Explodes To Death At Friendly’s

A serviceman working on the air compressor system at a restaurant in Northeast Philadelphia was killed yesterday when a pressurized tank exploded, officials said. The man, a South Jersey resident whose name was not immediately released, was pronounced dead at the scene. He was working on the air compressor system at the Friendly’s Restaurant on Roosevelt Boulevard and Red Lion Road about 2:30 p.m. when the explosion [NOT pictured, right] occurred, officials said. The man was pronounced dead at the scene. No other injuries were reported. The cause of the blast was under investigation. INQUIRER: Tick, Tick, BOOM

GUNCRAZY: SEPTA Rider Shot In The Head, Twice

It all started when a 45-year-old man chased desperately after a Route 33 SEPTA bus in North Philadelphia shortly before 5 p.m., hoping to catch his ride. Watching the running man intently from inside the bus, police say, was a man in his late 50s or early 60s. The younger man must have thought he was in luck – the Route 33 bus stopped, allowing him to hop on board. Police say he paid his fare and was immediately confronted by the man who’d been watching him. The older man “began grabbing or shaking him, and asked him, ‘Where’s my […]

DOPEY BALBOA: Stallone Busted For Steroids

AS TATTLE RAN to press last night, TMZ.com and the Sydney Morning Herald reported that Sylvester Stallone (aka Rocky) had been charged in a Sydney courtroom with illegally importing steroids.According to Aussie authorities, Stallone, who did not appear in court, was caught at Sydney Airport on a promotional tour for “Rocky Balboa” last month, with several vials of human growth hormone. When customs officials raided Stallone’s hotel room, the number of HGH vials reached 48. Stallone, 60, will enter a plea in Sydney on April 24. If found guilty, he’s not going to jail, but he could be forced to […]

HIZZONER ’07: Rivals Move To Crunch Brady’s Bunch

BY DAVE DAVIES Six voters associated with Democratic mayoral candidate Tom Knox filed a legal challenge to rival candidate U.S. Rep. Bob Brady late yesterday, charging that Brady failed to disclose his city pension and other financial interests when he filed to run. Another rival, state Rep. Dwight Evans, said last night he’ll file his own challenge to Brady’s candidacy today, noting that Brady’s failure to disclose his city pension is exactly the kind of omission that’s been used to strike other candidates from the ballot in past elections. “Brady is running for the highest office in Philadelphia,” Evans said […]

Today I Saw…

BY JEFF DEENEY “Today I saw…” is a series of nonfiction shorts based on my experiences as a caseworker serving formerly homeless families now living in North and West Philadelphia. I decided not long after starting the job that I was seeing so many fascinating and disturbing things in the city’s poorest neighborhoods that I needed to start cataloging them. I hope this bi-weekly column serves as a record of a side of the city that many Philadelphians don’t come in contact with on a daily basis. I want to capture moments not frequently covered by the local media, which […]

Philly Confidential Returns, Now In The ‘Royal She’

[Philly Confidential] grew tired of blaming the cops for the city’s crime woes. She decided it was time to move beyond the cop beat and submerge herself into the dark abyss that is the First Judicial District. She studied crime statistics and learned that youth gun violence is at a 5-year high. She spoke to prosecutors, along with court officials, to understand the nuances of juvenile justice, yet saw how slack everything seemed. Then she snooped around a few courtrooms and heard that too many teen murderers were assigned to probation officers months, sometimes days, before a slaying. What she […]