DRESSED IN A black Dickies suit and black Timberlands, the chubby-faced 17-year-old crack dealer paced around the desolate lot working another graveyard shift. In the darkness, a steady stream of addicts ambled toward him to make a buy. Then he saw a familiar face: his close friend’s mom. “I need a nick,” she mumbled to him. Without hesitation, he sold her a nickel bag — $5 worth of crack. “I was surprised that she was a smoker,” Mikey recalled, months after that night. Today he calls it “the deal I will never forget.” “I was thinking that a real friend […]
Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Shades OR THE GREATEST PHILLY NEW WAVE SINGLE YOU NEVER HEARD OF AND COULDN’T FIND IF YOU TRIED!
THE SHADES “Hello Mr. Johnson” (NOW PLAYING ON PHAWKER RADIO) Excerpted From THE BOB JR. Part Six BY DAVID SNYDER I’ve swore I’d get to this single before I put this miserable pamphlet in its grave. To set the context we’re going to revisit the bits and pieces of my life that on occasion have previously bubbled up here in the bastard offspring and, before that, in the old rag. I was born in Philly. But between fifth and sixth grade the family shipped out to New Jersey, some suburbs — from Northeast Philly, which was then a kind of […]
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE: Death Of PREZ FORD Leaves ARLEN SPECTER The Last Man Standing
AP: “He took office minutes after Nixon flew off into exile and declared “our long national nightmare is over.” But he revived the debate a month later by granting Nixon a pardon for all crimes he committed as president. That single act, it was widely believed, cost Ford election to a term of his own in 1976, but it won praise in later years as a courageous act that allowed the nation to move on. The Vietnam War ended in defeat for the U.S. during his presidency with the fall of Saigon in April 1975. In a speech as the […]
THE MONEY $HOT: 40 Times Hotter Than The Combined Beaver Shots Of Lindsay, Britney And Paris
Men, this will serve you well at sea.
DEATH OF A SALESPERSON: 10 Things I Won’t Miss About Tower Customers
By SARA SHERR: 1.Mouth-breathers who hug the cart of refiles that I’m trying to put away. This is the same crap that’s been sitting in the racks for the last two months. If I put a bunch of Keak the Sneak CDs on a cart, does that make them suddenly more attractive and awesomely collectable? 2.People who ask stupid questions in order to make a conversation with me. Yes, we?re going out of business. Nope, there’s nothing left. Yep, that pesky downloading. 3.People who can’t read. I understand the Philadelphia public school system is in a shambles and it’s hard […]
EAKINS STAYS HOME! HOORAY! OUR RICH PEOPLE ARE RICHER THAN THEIR RICH PEOPLE! HOORAY!
As announced yesterday, a consortium of the local moneyed class has pulled out their checkbooks and stopped the Wicked Witch of Walmart from getting her flying monkey paws on our Eakins masterpiece. Maybe next time we can rally $60 million in a coupla weeks to, say, build a new school or put some new books in the Public Library or something. Still, let us applaud the following: Leonore Annenberg ($10 million to the Gross Clinic effort) is the widow of Walter Annenberg, the publisher and U.S. ambassador to Britain. She is the president, chairman, and sole director of the Annenberg […]
SHADES OF JACK AND THE BEANSTALK: You Mean $68 Million Clams Coulda Bought All This Stuff Instead?
FROM ATTYTOOD: 68,000,000: Dollars that could hire 170 new Philadelphia police officers for five years, or 850 officers for one year, based on official estimates of $80,000 a cop for salary, benefits and training. 68,000,000: Dollars that could almost completely close the current yawning budget gap currently faced by the Philadelphia School District, estimated now at $73.3 million. The gap has led to a series of painful cutbacks, such as the elimination of 175 administrative jobs. 68,000,000: Dollars that could hire roughly 124 new social workers for 10 years in city’s Department of Human Services (based on average city salary […]
Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?
Well, it would appear that the worm has finally turned. After weeks of being shut out by PW, the Daily News and even our own Election Day dead pachyderm cover, CP comes back stronger than ever. Truly, Evan M. Lopez‘s cover illustration is the finest aspirational visual representation of Christmas in the 215 since, like, ever. Seriously, we take our hat off, Sir. Meanwhile, PW‘s cover may well be pink and scrapplicious at first glance, but if you squint real hard you can almost see the marks from the hands-free headset they used to phone this one in. It just […]