All week long we will be waxing nostalgic about our gloriously misspent psychedelic youth while attempting to explain how and why — from about 1984-1987 — a band called the Butthole Surfers were the ONLY band that mattered. I know, I know — but it’s true! And just to prove our point, we will be giving away tickets for Friday’s show at the Troc. Why? Because we love you!
CHICKENSHIT: ‘Fowl Prank’ Shuts Down High School
BY SAM WOOD & ROBERT MORAN OF THE INQUIRER A fowl prank has closed a Philadelphia high school, canceling classes today for 3,600 students. About 50 to 75 “full-blown live chickens” were discovered roaming the halls of Northeast Philadelphia High School this morning as faculty arrived before dawn. “They’ve created quite a mess,” said Fernando Gallard, spokesman for the school district. “It’s going to take us at least a day to clean up.” The cackling hens and roosters were let into the school on Cottman Avenue over the weekend. Video surveillance shows that multiple culprits gained entry into the school […]
KILLADELPHIA: 2 More Dead Since U Went 2 Bed
DAILY NEWS: In 12 hours, from Saturday evening to yesterday morning, two people were killed and four others wounded following numerous shootings and a hit-and-run. One of the deaths has been declared a homicide. The other, in which Ismael Valentin, 27, of the city’s Mayfair section, was shot numerous times at the 7400 Apartments on Roosevelt Boulevard near Bleigh Avenue in the city’s Rhawnhurst section, remains under investigation, homicide Sgt. Ron McClane said. The shooting occurred at 4:48 p.m. Saturday inside a stairwell, but Valentin managed to stumble outside the apartment complex, where he died a short time later, police […]
REALITY CHECK: Did You Ever Notice How…
The more things change, the more things stay the same? Just wondering.
BACK IN BLACK: Amy Winehouse Cleans Up Nice
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) — British pop singer Amy Winehouse, whose rapid descent from promising newcomer to emaciated junkie played out in the full glare of the public eye last year, took home five Grammy Awards on Sunday. But jazz veteran Herbie Hancock was the shock winner of the coveted album of the year award, preventing Winehouse from enjoying a historic clean sweep. Winehouse, 24, did win the key awards for record and song of the year for her hit tune “Rehab,” as well as best new artist. Her haul was rounded out by the female pop vocal solo performance for […]
NEWS CLUES: It’s Like Adderall For Your Eyeballs
RIP: Actor Roy Scheider Dead At 75, Shark Not Involved Roy Scheider, a stage actor with a background in the classics who became one of the leading figures in the American film renaissance of the 1970s, died on Sunday afternoon in Little Rock, Ark. He was 75 and lived in Sag Harbor, N.Y. Mr. Scheider had suffered from multiple myeloma for several years, and died of complications from a staph infection, his wife, Brenda Seimer, said. Mr. Scheider’s rangy figure, gaunt face and emotional openness made him particularly appealing in everyman roles, most famously as the agonized police chief of […]
All Of This Happened While You Were Sleeping
FUTURE SCHLOCK: White Williams, Johnny Brendas, Last Night 1. Had I not been too busy gossiping with Mike D, I would have whipped out the notebook and chatted up srsly cute boy Joe Williams, who passed the time until his set snuggled up in a fur-hooded parka behind the merch table or hanging with some power gays at the bar. 2. When the time came, Williams climbed onstage and, accompanied by guitar and bass, whipped the largely young, male and hirsute crowd into a state of wiggling, bouncing bliss. But seriously, the kid in the audience who spent half the […]
BREAKING: Obama Takes Kennebunkport
WASHINGTON POST: AUGUSTA, Maine — Barack Obama defeated Hillary Rodham Clinton in Maine presidential caucuses Sunday, grabbing a majority of delegates as the state’s Democrats overlooked the snowy weather and turned out in heavy numbers for municipal gatherings. Democrats in 420 Maine towns and cities were deciding how the state’s 24 delegates will be allotted at the party’s national convention in August. Despite the weather, turnout was “incredible,” party executive director Arden Manning said. With 70 percent of the participating precincts reporting, Obama led in state delegates elected over Clinton, 1,564 to 1,122, with 17 uncommitted. Organizers had expected heavy […]
KILLADELPHIA: Other People’s Meals
Apparently, if you vote for Vince Fumo, he will come to your house and make your family dinner. Every night! But in all seriousness, NONE of the people pictured in this commercial are truly threatened by the city’s spiraling homicide rate. The senator knows this. As such, this commercial grossly misrepresents the nature of the problem and the people most likely become just another chalk outline on the sidewalks of North and West Philadelphia. It reminds us the way they used to get Pat Boone to cover Little Richard songs so that, you know, white people could relate. Shame on […]
We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It
SUNSHINE SUPERMEN: The Photon Band, Johnny Brendas, Friday Night [Photos by JONATHAN VALANIA]
OBAMELOT: Yes We Can
[Photo by VIC SUEDE] ASSOCIATED PRESS: WASHINGTON — Sen. Barack Obama swept the Louisiana primary and caucuses in Nebraska and Washington state Saturday night, slicing into Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s slender delegate lead in their historic race for the Democratic presidential nomination. The Illinois senator also won caucuses in the Virgin Islands, completing his best night of the campaign. Obama’s winning margins ranged from substantial to crushing. He won roughly two-thirds of the vote in Washington state and Nebraska, and almost 90 percent in the Virgin Islands. Late Louisiana returns showed Obama with 55 percent of the vote, to 39 […]
LIVE: Top Five Reasons Why Cat Power Was Just ‘Meh’
MEOW MIX: Cat Power, Starlight Ballroom, Last Night CLICK TO ENLARGE 1. She was late. Like, almost an hour late. Yeah, yeah, she’s not the first rock star nor the last to make her adoring public earn their audience with her. But it did let a lot of the goodwill out of the room before she even sang a note. After a while, somebody shouted out “Stop playing fucking Motown singles and get your ass on stage!” 2. Their stage manager is a Napoleonic douche bag that just plain oozes bad rock karma. Trust me on this. 3. The band […]
MAILBAG: Vampire Weak And…
DEAR PHAWKER, 1. A band this allegedly likable must know that it can be despised. Help me bring bring balance to the universe. 2. A decent wedding band could play these songs note-for-note. 3. There’s no fucking way you’re going to bait me into saying something bad about Unitarians. 4. This new album is made possible by our collective unremitting gullibility. Break those fake kwassa-kwassa chains. Send these dudes back to grad school. 5. Wearing Docksiders in 2008 is gay, even if you lace ’em up with irony. JOE WARMINSKY Washington, DC PREVIOUSLY: 5 Reasons Why Vampire Weekend Was Better […]