All Of This Happened While You Were Sleeping

FUTURE SCHLOCK: White Williams, Johnny Brendas, Last Night

1. Had I not been too busy gossiping with Mike D, I would have whipped out the notebook and chatted up srsly cute boy Joe Williams, who passed the time until his set snuggled up in a fur-hooded parka behind the merch table or hanging with some power gays at the bar.

2. When the time came, Williams climbed onstage and, accompanied by guitar and bass, whipped the largely young, male and hirsute crowd into a state of wiggling, bouncing bliss. But seriously, the kid in the audience who spent half the show blowing a whistle like he was Kate Winslet summoning the rescue boats needs a smack in the head.

3. Solid, if slightly brief, set list, including satellite radio fave “New Violence,” a breezy “Route to Palm” and a languid, sexy “Danger,” though no “Smoke”? Paleeeze! Also eschewed the WW version of “I Want Candy,” my least-favorite track on the otherwise sensaysh Smoke. I think I missed “Headlines,” being too distracted by some icky PDAs happening at the bar (see #5).

4. We enjoy seeing the melodica, also known as the “hooter,” employed without irony in pop music.

5. Semi-rhetorical question: If you’re going to drag your boyfriend into the ladies room to powder your noses, why sit at the bar and maul each other afterward when you could have just stayed in the stall? ‘Cause honey, nobody needs to see you lick each others’ faces, KBYE!

TEXT BY AMY Z. QUINN/PHOTOS BY JUSTIN ROMAN

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