TONITE: Gargle In The Rat Race Choir*

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Complaining is the release valve on life’s daily shit storm. It makes you feel better and sometimes it even brings change. Plus, it’s a great way to meet kindred souls with like-minded axes to grind. Tonight, the First Person Arts Festival, the only annual festival dedicated completely to documentary and memoir styled art, happens to be serving up a kvetching, grumbling, whining ensemble gathering for one purpose and one purpose only: to complain. The idea of a complaint choir was first hatched by two Finnish artists back in 2005. There happens to be a phrase in Finish that literally translates to “Complaint Choir,” meaning unruly debate amongst friends and people. Since then, complaint choirs have popped up all over the globe.  The Philly Complaint Choir is a group of about 70 persons, ranging from veteran choristers to chorale newcomers, seeking to air national and local grievances in dulcet song. “It’s high time Philadelphia had its own complaint choir…I think its relevant now more than ever,” said Nicholas Forrest, explaining the impetus for starting a Philly franchise. Simply put The Philly Complaint Choir exists to vent locally-shared angst, give voice to mutual gripes and bring the aggrieved together for a few laughs. — AARON STELLA

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The Complaint Choir performs 6 PM tonight at the Painted Bride Art Center, as part of the ongoing First Person Arts Festival.

RELATED: It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)

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By Bob Dylan

Darkness at the break of noonbob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child’s balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool’s gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proves to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying.

Temptation’s page flies out the doorbob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
You follow, find yourself at war
Watch waterfalls of pity roar
You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover
That you’d just be
One more person crying.

So don’t fear if you hear
A foreign sound to your ear
It’s alright, Ma, I’m only sighing.

As some warn victory, some downfall
Private reasons great or small
Can be seen in the eyes of those that call
To make all that should be killed to crawl
While others say don’t hate nothing at all
Except hatred.

Disillusioned words like bullets barkbob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
As human gods aim for their mark
Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It’s easy to see without looking too far
That not much
Is really sacred.

While preachers preach of evil fates
Teachers teach that knowledge waits
Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
Goodness hides behind its gates
But even the president of the United States
Sometimes must have
To stand naked.

An’ though the rules of the road have been lodged
It’s only people’s games that you got to dodge
And it’s alright, Ma, I can make it.

Advertising signs that con you
Into thinking you’re the onebob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
That can do what’s never been done
That can win what’s never been won
Meantime life outside goes on
All around you.

You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks
They really found you.

A question in your nerves is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy
Insure you not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not fergit
That it is not he or she or them or it
That you belong to.

Although the masters make the rulesbob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.

For them that must obey authority
That they do not respect in any degree
Who despise their jobs, their destinies
Speak jealously of them that are free
Cultivate their flowers to be
Nothing more than something
They invest in.

While some on principles baptized
To strict party platform ties
Social clubs in drag disguise
Outsiders they can freely criticize
Tell nothing except who to idolize
And then say God bless him.

While one who sings with his tongue on firebob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
Gargles in the rat race choir*
Bent out of shape from society’s pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he’s in.

But I mean no harm nor put fault
On anyone that lives in a vault
But it’s alright, Ma, if I can’t please him.

Old lady judges watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare
While money doesn’t talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares
Propaganda, all is phony.

While them that defend what they cannot seebob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
With a killer’s pride, security
It blows the minds most bitterly
For them that think death’s honesty
Won’t fall upon them naturally
Life sometimes
Must get lonely.

My eyes collide head-on with stuffed graveyards
False gods, I scuff
At pettiness which plays so rough
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say okay, I have had enough
What else can you show me?

And if my thought-dreams could be seenbob-dylansepia.thumbnail.jpg
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
But it’s alright, Ma, it’s life, and life only.

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