BY WILLIAM C. HENRY After decades of steady and evermore forceful insertion, America’s resident Cuban expats and their uber-pandering Washington politicos may finally be forced to begin extracting their middle digits from between the cheeks of the 11 million-plus Cuban citizens they’ve been long-distance sodomizing for the past thirty years. And how only-slightly-better-late-than-never it is that a black lame-duck Democrat President would be the one willing to turn away from all the vote-pandering and do for the Cuban people what more than 2 million of their oh-so-more-economically-pampered and politically catered-to stateside countrymen haven’t had the magnanimity, let alone the compassion or plain old […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Guess what country you’re in: 20% of income goes to the top 1%; nearly 50% of income growth goes to the top 1%. Here’s a hint: 0.1% of the population control as much wealth as the poorest 90%. I know, you had it figured it out before you got to the semicolon. So, let me ask you this, did these little factoids at least raise an eyebrow? I admit that they may not have shocked me, but they damn sure stirred my undivided attention. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking their disclosure ought to […]

Artwork by SHEPARD FAIREY BY WILLIAM C. HENRY “I pledge allegiance to the arms manufacturers of the United States of America and to the stratocracy for which we yearn.” Ring any bells? It should. As I speak, Republican members of Congress are fighting tooth and nail among themselves to see how much money they can ADD to the $850+ BILLION we already spend every year on the military. So, in the midst of all this right-wing-middle-fingers-up-the-asses-of-America’s-unimaginably-dire-social-and-infrastructure-urgencies, I’m hoping you’ll agree that it might at least be prescient to expose where America currently stands in relation to the world’s other developed nations vis-à-vis unconscionable military overload. […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Dear Kyle Smith: I just finished reading your recent mocking (or was it simply racist) article detailing the President’s and your, shall we say, “competing” concepts of American “exceptionalism.” Anyway, Kyle, let’s get going and see what we can do about “leveling the playing field” a bit by way of a little mockery from the “port” side of America’s great racialism divide, if you get my drift. For openers, I feel compelled to inform you that in addition to reading your article, I also boned up on your schooling, and right off the bat I’m very concerned […]

Illustration by DONKEY HOTEY BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Having accepted “Rabbi” John Boehner’s invitation, Benjamin Netanyahu (the Israeli “state’s” senior Representative in the U.S. House of Representatives, né Prime Minister of Israel) has decided to stand by his scheduled address to the huddled faithful on March 3rd. So, aside from the fact that said speech is opposed by many top-level Israelis both here and in Israel as well as by the President of the United States, what’s really wrong with his giving it? Allow me to count the ways: 1) John Boehner isn’t tasked with initiating or carrying out the foreign policy of the United States, the President is; 2) it […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY “If there’s a way for the super-rich to screw the middle and lower classes, they will find it.” So sayeth Uncle Bill Henry. Yes, but WHY do they do it, Uncle Bill? Well, according to this no doubt intellectually overrated but nonetheless venerated old fart, they do it because they can, and perhaps to a greater extent, because they can’t help it. You see, it’s extremely difficult — if not downright impossible — to have amassed extraordinary wealth in these or any other times without having inherited the sociopathy and cupidity genes (or, of course, without […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I’m definitely siding with New England on this one if for no other reason than the very idea of “deflategate” is utterly stupid and outlandishly hypocritical on its face. In fact, should it turn out that the Patriots were in fact complicit, I’d support a celebratory toast to them with cups of heavily spiked Orange Pekoe! Why? Because EVERY team in the NFL CHEATS, and they do it in EVERY game they play, and contrary to this preposterous “deflategate” bullshit, that kind of CHEATING actually HAS a bearing on the outcome of games! Huh?, you […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Two weeks ago, the U.N. Security Council voted down a Palestinian resolution granting it statehood status. Somewhat remarkably, the resolution was only one vote short of the nine required for passage. Guess who voted against it? “We voted against this resolution not because we are comfortable with the status quo,” said UN Ambassador Samantha Power. “We voted against it because … peace must come from hard compromises that occur at the negotiating table.” And thus did a dehumanized Palestinian mission once again take it up the ass from us and the rest of our ilk at the United Nations. […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY You pretty much know that morality, ethics, and even the faintest of hopes for universal fairness in this country are on ventilators when one of our most “respected” newspapers becomes willingly complicit in (a) the final auction gavel on the American electoral system, and (b) facilitating a national financial crisis so cataclysmic as to make the last one look like a rent check overdraft. How interesting it is that the Boston Globe should feel that getting an omnibus spending bill passed — ANY kind of omnibus spending bill — is worth caving in to the treacherous, money-grubbing interests of America’s premier purveyors of […]

Artwork by WORKBYKNIGHT BY WILLIAM C. HENRY On November 18th, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ordered the complete destruction of the home of the Palestinian man who on October 22nd had driven a car into an Israeli crowd resulting in two people dead and several injured. None of the man’s surviving family members who occupied the house were in any way suspected of involvement in the attack. Who knows, maybe Elohim privately beseeched the “Minister” to add a bit of crushed brick and mortar now and then to offset all the calf and lamb fat. Too profane for your palate? Somehow I doubt the surviving family […]

Artwork by POASTERCHILD BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The pundits all crowed that the Republicans won a sweeping victory in the just-passed mid-term election, but in fact the REAL winners on November 4th were, in no particular order:  self-defeating no-nothingness, sociopathic obstructionism, irrational fear of the other, bald-faced misogyny, seething homophobia and above all else, abject racism towards the nation’s first black President and First Lady. Yep, that’s what won out on November 4th. I’d congratulate the American Kakistocratic party (you can call them Republicans if you like) if there was even the teeniest of reasons for doing so, but, uh, well, you get the […]

Illustration via FINANCIAL TIMES click HERE to enlarge BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Yet another tax-avoidance tumor is metastasizing in the belly of the corporate beast. The perps themselves refer to it as “tax inversion” (truth be told, they’d really prefer that the matter not be referred to at all) but please feel free to recognize it for what it really is: Big Greed’s most brazen effort to date to avoid its patriotic responsibility and shove the nation’s tax burden even farther up the ass of a dwindling middle class! Corporate apologists like to point out that America has the highest corporate tax rate (35%) on the planet, but what they don’t say […]

“I Love You But…” by BEN HEINE BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Here we go again. The Israelis and the Palestinians. The “chosen” and the forsaken. The “sovereign” and the scorned. And the beatdown goes on. OK, so what’s the problem this time?! Why can’t these Gazan goat ropers accept their lot in life? Hell, what’s so bad about life in a concentration camp? You know, what with the Israelis being only too familiar with “attempted extermination,” you’d think they’d be at least somewhat, or maybe marginally, or how ’bout just a teeny weeny bit, shall we say, “ill-disposed” to the degradation and misery of others. Apparently […]