SMUS: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out



BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The pundits all crowed that the Republicans won a sweeping victory in the just-passed mid-term election, but in fact the REAL winners on November 4th were, in no particular order:  self-defeating no-nothingness, sociopathic obstructionism, irrational fear of the other, bald-faced misogyny, seething homophobia and above all else, abject racism towards the nation’s SMUSfirst black President and First Lady. Yep, that’s what won out on November 4th. I’d congratulate the American Kakistocratic party (you can call them Republicans if you like) if there was even the teeniest of reasons for doing so, but, uh, well, you get the idea. No, my congratulations go out to the millions of gullible dimwits who helped elect (including all the complacent and/or lazy Democrats — especially the young ones — who were too complacent and/or lazy to vote for anyone or anything) and can once again call a totally gridlocked American government their own.

Yeah, yeah, I know, you just wanted “change.” You were fed up. You wanted to try something, anything, new and different. Well, folks, therein “lies” the bullshit. Here’s a synopsis of the victorious party’s past six years of work on your behalf: ZERO, ZILCH, NADA, NOTHING! NO JOBS BILLS, NO STIMULUS! NO IMMIGRATION REFORM! NO FUCKING ANYTHING! Did I mention that every single Administration/Democrat sponsored bill or initiative that would have in ANY way alleviated the economic or physical pain the nation (especially its dwindling middle class) was suffering was obstructed in EVERY way possible by an intransigent, COULDN’T-POSSIBLY-GIVE-A-SHIT-LESS-ABOUT-YOU, historically racist Republican party. Seldom in the sordid annals of political under-the-bus-throwing has an opposition party so successfully practiced said art on such a grand scale. But, of course, you felt that installing more of these bigoted bottom-feeders would be good for us. Of course it will.

Sure, I recognize that Obama will never be remembered for his compromising skills. However, the difference between Barak and so-called “successful” common grounders is that he realized very early on in his presidency that arriving at happy mediums with the type of opposition he’d been dealt would be an impossibility. He had no illusions. He knew that Republicans didn’t hate him so much for his politics as for the color of his skin, and that that wasn’t something he could do anything about. As a result we got gridlock. So, just what was it that made you think that turning both the House of Representatives AND the Senate bright red would somehow unlock the grid? It’s a miscalculation of epic proportions, folks. You had an opportunity to at least maintain the status quo or, god forbid, even reverse it. Instead you chose to exacerbate it. Why?! What on earth were you thinking?!

But, believe it or not, a twinkling of good news may yet come shining through. The pressure to compromise is now squarely on the shoulders of the Republicans. If they hope to have even a glimmer of national-level success in 2016 they have to find a way to get SOMETHING done. And, the only way that’s going to happen is with an equally stubborn Obama’s cooperation. It can no longer be “my way or the highway” from either side. If that turns out to be the case, 2016 and beyond will be deja vu all over again, and the demographic/minority (read: Hispanics, blacks, and other minorities) numbers are almost certain to stack up against whichever party the voters perceive to be the more nay-saying. On the other hand, why don’t I just leave it to Jarod Kintz to put the entire matter into proper context: “I had a dream about you. We got into an argument over the toilet seat. Down, up, down, up, down, up, we each thought we were right. Finally, being a natural diplomat, I suggested we compromise and leave the toilet seat halfway between down and up. You called me an idiot, and I said, ‘That’s precisely why the majority of the population voted me into office.'”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.