[Illustration by ALEX FINE] WASHINGTON POST: Wealthy businessman Donald Trump announced Monday that he won’t seek the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, bringing an end to the circus-like speculation that had surrounded the reality star’s political future in recent months. “I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election,” Trump said in a statement. “Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.” Trump’s decision brings to an end a political roller coaster ride on which the […]
Ex-Khyber/Terror Dude’s Testimony Could Prove Far More Damning To Pakistan Than Osama’s Hideout
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] THE GUARDIAN: [David Coleman] Headley, a Pakistani-American, is soon to appear in a federal court in Chicago as a prosecution witness against Rana Tawahhur Hussein, a Chicago area businessman of Pakistani descent. Hussein is accused of providing financial and logistical support to terrorists who carried out the deadly Mumbai terror attack in 2008.A first generation immigrant, Headley was born Daood Sayed Gilani. The son of a Pakistani father and an American mother, Headley changed his name to a more non-Pakistani-sounding one to avoid suspicion and to make it easier for him to travel to south Asia, […]
CINEMA: The Hissing Of Summer Lawns
DAVID EDELSTEIN: A middle-aged husband is cast out, forced to move his belongings and furniture (including his comfy easy chair) to his lawn, where he sits getting blotto—until a young couple invades his new world, mistaking it for a yard sale. […] That lawn with its scraps of a ruined life is a setting both satirical and poignant, and Will Ferrell gives a performance of Chekhovian depth. I’d say Ferrell’s work is a revelation, except it isn’t. Even in slapstick comedies like Step Brothers, he shows a delicate touch, his child-men holding onto a defensive arrogance that barely conceals their […]
CONCERT REVIEW: Adele At The Electric Factory
BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR THE INQUIRER It is a fitting coincidence that Brit ‘It Girl’ Adele launched her much-anticipated stateside tour the same weekend that “Bridesmaids,” Team Apatow’s rowdy girl-centric answer to “The Hangover,” opens in theaters across the country. The former is a budding superstar, the latter is a burgeoning box office hit, and the common ground is that Adele is the celebrated maker of mass-appeal music that could aptly be described as chick-flick soul. Her calling card, of course, is that voice: Big, bracing and acrobatic enough to wow the nattering class that tunes in weekly for “American […]
WORTH REPEATING: Dead Man Talking
NEW YORK TIMES: “[Richard Holbrooke] thought that this could become Obama’s Vietnam,” Marton recalled. “Some of the conversations in the Situation Room reminded him of conversations in the Johnson White House. When he raised that, Obama didn’t want to hear it.” Because he was fiercely loyal to his friend Hillary Clinton, the secretary of state, Holbrooke bit his lip and kept quiet in public. But he died in December, and Marton and some of his friends (me included) believe it’s time to lift the cone of silence and share his private views. […] Holbrooke opposed the military “surge” in […]
MUST SEE TV: Live Action Ambiguously Gay Duo
The always hilarious Ambiguously Gay Duo returns from limbo, bigger and better than ever. Roughly half way through it transforms from animation to live action, and best of all the Duo is played by Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon. Also featuring Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrel. Easily the funniest thing since Sarah Palin said she wasn’t racist anti-rap because she knows all the words to “Rapper’s Delight.”
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Religious Right Is Wrong
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The following can be found in in Article 6 of the U.S. Constitution: No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States. Really? That being the case, I wonder why I can’t find corresponding language EXEMPTING participants in such “intercourses of congenial spirits” as the two-day all-expenses-paid (by their congregations no doubt) Pastors Policy Briefing which was held in Des Moines, Iowa on March 24th? Must have been written in disappearing ink. Conferences under the same guise have been held over the past few years […]
SIDEWALKING: In The Gaslands
Somewhere along Route 6, Bradford County, Pennsyltucky by JEFF FUSCO
Q&A With Judah Friedlander, World Champion
In advance of his appearances tonight and Saturday at the Helium Comedy Club, we got Judah on the horn and solicited some very useful advice, such as: How to beat up a cyclops and a one-armed man; how to rock the trucker hat (and Run DMC spectacles) with no real truck driving experience to speak of; how to have an illicit affair with your junior high school teacher; and how to land movie roles as wrestling fan, action figure dude, drunk man, ice cream man, maintenance man, pawn shop patron, and cafeteria guy. You know you want to know. *** […]
CINEMA: Cracked Actors & Headbangers Bawl
CRACKS (2009, directed by Jordan Scott, 104 minutes, U.K.) HESHER (2010, directed by Spencer Susser, 100 minutes, U.S.) BY DAN BUSKIRK FILM CRITIC Society’s expectations of women has led to their condescendingly being referred to as “the gentler sex,” but isn’t this diminished expectation why it is so fun to watch women on-screen when they go stark raving mad? From Sissy Spacek in Carrie, to Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, and Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest, it is a special kind of thrill to watch women when they lose all composure and let their psyches run wild. […]
WEASELS IN THE HENHOUSE: FCC Chairman Quits To Lobby For Comcast, Her Reward For Fastracking The Mega Merger With NBC With Minimal Restrictions
WASHINGTON POST: Federal Communications commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker defended her decision to join Comcast NBC Universal just months after voting in favor of the company’s joint venture. Under heavy criticism this week for her decision to leave the FCC to join Comcast, Baker issued a statement on Friday saying she was not approached by either Comcast or NBC Universal about a potential job during the review of their transaction. Baker stood out among the FCC’s five commissioners for criticizing the merger review process for taking too long. She said the agency attached too many conditions to the deal. Among them, […]
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
AMERICA, F*CK YEAH: Huckabee Huckstering Cartoonish History Lessons That Blame America Last
[Illustation by DONKEY HOTEY] TALKING POINTS MEMO: Don’t worry, American youth: Mike Huckabee has fixed American history. No longer will you suffer under what Huckabee calls “the ‘blame America first’ attitude prevalent in today’s teaching.” Late Wednesday, Huckabee announced LearnOurHistory.com, a sort of BMG Music Club for what he calls “unbiased” historical lessons for kids. For around $15 each, the company will send you a new animated tale of American history each month, told through the eyes of a gang of time traveling kids. What’s the goal? To tell the history Huckabee says American schools are afraid to tell. “What […]