Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present, The Asylum Street Spankers! And God Bless America and all who sail with her!
Backstage Thursday night at Philebrity’s Second Anniversary Party at Johnny Brendas.
Why do you people give a shit about celebrities? Maybe it’s because we’ve met a few, but we could NOT care less. Unless it has to do with Lindsay Lohan. But that’s different. Anyway, the blog consultant we hired was very clear: if we have any prayer of ever getting women and gay men to read this thing, we better have some celeb shit. Christ, the things we do for you people. Okay, I don’t know if everybody else has already weighed in on this but it’s all we got today. Besides, who covers Pittsburgh? Well, we do. Have you […]
Makin’ Bacon With The War Pigs Somebody important once said that irony is the only rational response to an irrational world. Maybe we did. Who can tell in this crazy, mixed-up Internet world where nothing is true and everything is permitted. As you may recall, in the days after of 9/11 Vanity Fair poohbah Graydon Carter famously declared the sudden “death of irony,” as if they kept it in the World Trade Center or something. Well, assuming for a moment that was even remotely true or possible, David Rees CPR’d that fucker back to life and gave it a job: […]
But these people strike us as pros. Invite Phawker to your Halloween jawn at firstname.lastname@example.org. Unless it’s gonna suck. Then nevermind.
Pretty girls aren’t funny for the same reason that pretty boys aren’t funny: they don’t have to be. Form fits function, and function answers to need. Pretty people rarely need for much, least of all the ability to win friends and disarm foes with a few well-placed yuks. It’s basic Darwin. Lucille Ball? Phyllis Diller? Roseanne Barr? Funny fuckin’ ladies. Pretty? Not so much. Amy Sedaris knows this. Her career puts the lie to that premise, by the way, but to do so she has to put on a fat suit and give herself an overbite, problem hair and a […]