Poll: How White People Are Ruining Philadelphia

From the Philadelphia Magazine web site: Previous poll results: 83 percent of you say you’re more likely to [sic] go city bars and restaurants now that the smoking ban is in place. Translation: Nobody will ever be allowed to smoke in a bar in this town again so that some Main Line duchess and her fellow yentas can go out for a wine spritzer after First Friday without getting icky Camel Light smoke all up in their Prada, before getting back in the Lexus and setting the controls for the heart of Gladwyne.

215 , NewsPosted on:

AdBust: Thanks For The Mammaries

The Client: DiBello Plastic Surgery, Fixer Of God’s Little Mistakes The Creative: Agile Cat The Placement: Philadelphia Magazine, page 67, October 2006 issue The Verdict: Let us guess: The client requested “break-through-the-clutter” creative. Like a predictable John, they always do. And then you say something to the effect of: Hey shug, you want me to put on the little white socks and do some cheers again, don’tcha? Which in this case, being a plastic surge ad and all, means something outside-the-box of the usual waxed, shellacked and bikini’d bimbae but still delivers our main talking point with pitiless efficiency: You […]

215 , NewsPosted on:

Advice: Ask Mother Phawker

Dear Mother Phawker, What the fuck? I mean, really, what is the point of it all? Why do I even bother when everything in the world seems irretrievably fucked? Sign me, Hating Everyone And Everything In University City Dear Cranky O’Buzzkill, Given your address, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you’re a college student. Which explains why you have the time to sit around having an existential crisis on a weekday morning, but whatever. I’m suspecting your angst is caused by either too much dope, too little sex, or a combination of both. In other […]

AdvicePosted on:

We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It

The Changeling: Beck morphing, Lucifer rising, Tower Theater, October 23, 2006 Eva Says: Me and Beck roll like this: Him, international pop star; Me, long-time listener, first-time, um, seer. I had always hoped my first time would be one of those sheet-rippingly ecstatic moments of unalloyed ear-joy. But, Beck tonight? Not so much. I give it ‘Meh.’ When he came out in a dapper, snug-fitting vintage tuxedo and red silk bow-tie, his dirty-blonde locks grown Jesus-length, things looked promising. But in the end, the scenery — a live puppet show behind the drumkit, complete with puppet versions of the whole […]

215 , Music , NewsPosted on:

Reader Writes: Turns Out Jesus Is NOT Magic

Hey Phawker, You told me to get in touch at JB’s last week, and now, with a heavy heart I find myself NEEDING to get in touch with you. For, good sir, I saw your post about the Sarah Silverman vehicle Jesus is Magic, and I need to get this off my chest. I guess if you can do a little retroactive hype, I can give a little retroactive backlash…That movie is not only a waste of time, but it couldn’t be less insightful, subversive, or controversial. All things it strives very hard to be. First off, I am a […]

215 , NewsPosted on:

Meltdown: Weldon Says Fed Probe Sticking Out Of His Rectum Was Shoved Up There By The Dems, Just Ask ‘Grumpy’ The Gym Guy

Ever since the FBI raided his daughter-the-lobbyist’s house in Queen Village last Monday as part of Justice Department influence-peddling investigation, U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (R-PA) has been blaming everyone — Joe Sestak, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, The Unstoppable Liberal Media — everyone that is except, well, Curt Weldon. If Mr. Weldon got his tit caught in a wringer, to borrow an old chestnut from the last season of cataclysmic Republican scandal, he has only himself to blame. And if he hopes to generate sympathy and throw himself on the mercy of the voters — which is about the only viable […]

NewsPosted on:

Phawker Archives: Every Day We Get A Little Less Empty

What is this woman thinking? How high is she? What song is playing? Is Peter Fonda in the other room? Does she sleep with a white rabbit? What’s in her medicine cabinet? No really, what’s in there? A hookah smoking caterpillar. Is she surprised that Steven Colbert turned out to be a pompous rightwing gasbag? When is her brother going to settle down and meet a nice girl? Does she know that people are starting to talk? That in earlier times he would have joined the priesthood by now? Why is she bringing back that run around in-just-your-pantyhose look? Why […]

NewsPosted on:

Hot Document: Guild Memo To Inky/DN Newsroom, Strike Vote Set For Thursday

MEDIATOR CALLED IN October 23, 2006 The Guild Monday asked for a federal mediator to help reach a settlement with the Company on a new contract. The action means that the government will provide a neutral party to narrow the issues that the Guild and the Company remain at odds over. The mediator cannot force either side to accept a proposal. His value is to lend an objective hand to a process that now has spanned 11 meetings without much progress. The mediator contacted the Company Monday afternoon and is expected to set up meetings with both sides.On Monday, the […]

215 , Media , NewsPosted on:

PBR: Phils Re-Sign 43-Year Old Moyer To Two Year Extension, Just To See If A Major League Pitcher Can Live That Long; Bullpen To Become No-Fly Zone

Not sure how I feel about this Jamie Moyer extension. Thought it was a stroke of understated brilliance on G.M. Pat Gillick‘s part to pick up the crafty 43-year-old southpaw for the Phils’ unanticipated stretch drive. Moyer did exactly what I — and Gillick, I’m assuming — expected: soft toss his way once around a league mostly unfamiliar with him and his throwback style of American League “backwards” pitching (i.e. — working off your off-speed stuff rather than your fastball)…

215 , News , SportsPosted on: