The Client: Pennsylvania Ballet The Creative: Joey Buttafuoco? The Placement: Page 79 of Philadelphia Magazine, November 2006 The Verdict: About this ad? It’s like Zima — it ZUCKS! Here’s the deal, we didn’t give a shit about ballet before your ad, but we almost care less after seeing it. That’s not good advertising. It just wastes our time and your money. Our question is, Who did this thing to you? And who is he blackmailing? Problem areas: Pretty much every square inch of this. Questions: Why is this woman sniffing her armpit or, just to narrow this down a little, […]
SPRINGFIELD PSA: The Wages Of Mass Disinformation
THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS: War Is Over, If You Want It.
GAYBO: First We Take Santorum; Joan Collins At The Forrest; Woody’s For Sale?
TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: It’s Election Eve 2006 and I’m just up to my ears in excitement! Now, remember to stick to the plan: First we take Santorum, then the rest of The GOP in 2008. The Hillary/Obama ticket is gonna rock those Republican bitches into the next decade! You may ask, is the world ready for a dyke and a black man? HELLS YES! If the last eight years has proven anything it is this: You simply cannot drop the soap in front of a Republican. It’s too risky. Republicans are just too unstable, too many are just barely holding […]
EVA SAYS: I Went To CMJ And All I Got Was Melisa Zuccerman’s Nametag
EVA SAYS: I wake up hung over from too much whiskey-in-a-water-bottle the previous night at Making Time. I roll over, aching, with the faint memory that I’m supposed to do something important today. Oh yeah — I’m supposed to be on a bus to New York City for the CMJ festival. It’s my first assignment like this and I feel like I’m Cameron Crowe in Almost Famous. Only, I’m 22 and not 16, this is CMJ and not an Allman Brothers tour, and it’s 2006, not 1976. Still, I’m nervous, excited and overall quite confused as to why Valania would […]
FIGHT CLUB: Beanie Strong Like Bull, Takes A VIP Lickin’ And Keeps On Motherf*ckin’ Tickin’
BEANIE SIGEL caught a beatdown from fellow rapper Mike Knox at a party at the First District Plaza (3801 Market) the weekend before last, sources say. Although the Powerhouse concert at the Wachovia Center — which had Allen Iverson and our girl Lil’ Kim among a capacity crowd – was thrown by Power 99, it was rival station 100.3 The Beat that threw an afterparty. Beanie, aka Dwight Grant, of South Philly, was in the VIP area and when Knox entered, Beanie, we’re told, began talking trash to Knox, who lives in Logan. Eventually, Beanie threw a punch, and Knox […]
MONEY $HOT: No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn
AFTER THE GOLDRUSH: Making Time, November 3rd, 2006 [Flickr]
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOT SO MUCH: The Useful Idiocy Of The Story Of Glinda The Good Witch & The Suicide Bombers
“My friend, Jason, and I express our condolences and sympathy to all affected by our costumes. We wish to make it clear that we do not support terrorism, violence, or anything that is against society. There is no agenda or statement associated with our behavior shown in these pictures. The costumes are meant to portray scary characters much like many other costumes on Halloween. Additionally, we strive for all societies to instill healthy and non-violent values.” –Saad Saadi, Penn Student, Pictured Right With Penn Prez Amy Gutman, Halloween, 2006 Daily News: The Costume Heard Around The World SaadSaad.Com: Pet Gently […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
Fresh Air from WHYY, October 25, 2005 — From 1950 to 1956, the team of Martin and Lewis were the No. 1 box-office earners and America’s favorite entertainers. A new memoir from Jerry Lewis details how a beloved 10-year partnership was destroyed. Dean and Me: A Love Story details life behind the scenes of the 16 films and numerous television and club shows featuring Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. The book, which Lewis wrote with James Kaplan, chronicles the tumultuous relationship between two giants of American entertainment. Their success brought money, fame — and a host of new troubles, from […]
COVER WARS: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?
HOLD THE PHONE! What’s this? Jeebus, nobody saw this coming, not even us — and we run this thing. In a surprise move, the People’s Paper trumps both PW and the CP this week with this inspired cover art for the DN’s story on online predator/quickchange artist Jeffrey Marsalis. Not only did the DN trump both weeklies’ artfag kung-fu — sorry ladies, neither of you ‘popped’ this week, hey, it happens — but they are the only major publication we are aware that actually found a real life monster to put on their cover for Halloween. Well done People Paper […]
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT: Special Yankee Hotel Doodle Dandy Edition, Featuring Not Just One But TWO October Surprises, So Stick A Feather In Your Hat And Call It Macaroni, You Deserve It & Behold The End Of The Time Historians Will Likely Label ASSHOLE AMERICANA Appears To Have Begun, Let Us Rejoice, Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah, Etc.
AND FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK, WE SALUTE YOU!…FIRE!
OCTOBER SURPRISE #1: OK, I DID Have Relations With That Woman, Who Is NOT My Wife, But I Definitely Did NOT Choke Her Nor Can I Talk About Whether Or Not I Paid Her $500,000 To Shut Up About It, But More Importantly I Need Your Vote
AP: Rep. Sherwood paying ex-mistress about $500,000 BY MICHAEL RUBINKAM ALLENTOWN, Pa. – A Republican congressman accused of abusing his ex-mistress agreed to pay her about $500,000 in a settlement last year that contained a powerful incentive for her to keep quiet until after Election Day, a person familiar with the terms of the deal told The Associated Press. Rep. Don Sherwood is locked in a tight re-election race against a Democratic opponent who has seized on the four-term congressman’s relationship with the woman. While Sherwood acknowledged the woman was his mistress, he denied abusing her and said that he […]