December 8, 2006 — THE Allen Iverson Period in Philadelphia is rapidly dragging to an undignified conclusion.According to two agents whose clients play for the 76ers, Iverson went to team president Billy King this past Tuesday and demanded to be traded, something he professed repeatedly over the years he’d never do. According to two general managers King contacted yesterday, the 76ers are aggressively attempting to accommodate their forlorn franchise player, whose prohibitive salary (currently $17.1 million with $19M and $20.8M remaining) makes him a difficult sell despite a 31-point average — at least if the Sixers hope to harvest relatively […]
SPORTZ: Eagles Suck, Blah, Blah, Blah…PAT BERKERY PLEASE PHONE HOME…Eagles Suck, Blah, Blah…
Don’t know if you’ve noticed but our vaunted sports columnist Patrick “PBR” Berkery has been MIA for weeks now. Actually, he’s out on tour with the Pernice Brothers. When he told us he was leaving for a while we were like ‘What kind of sports columnist goes on tour with some pussy indie-pop band in the middle of football season?’ And he was all like ‘I’m a drummer, not a sportscaster.’ And we’re like NO YOU’RE NOT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! DEAD! And, um, give us a call when you get back and we’ll […]
IN MEMORIAM: Andre Waters 1962-2006
Waters, 44, died early yesterday from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He took with him the answer to the only question — Why, Andre, why? — worth asking. He may have given at least part of an answer in that nearly three-hour phone conversation in April. He wasn’t just frustrated and bitter about his inability to find a job with an NFL team. He was personally hurt by a system he believed used players up and spit them back out. But then, everything was personal with Waters. That seems surprising, since he was the most violent and reckless […]
REAL SPORTS: Vertical Paper Brings Bronze Home To 215 And Breaks Canada’s Stranglehold On Winner’s Circle At International Rock Paper Scissors Championship And YES It Turns Out There Actually IS Such A Thing
PHILADELPHIA, November 14, 2006 — The Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Series is pleased to announce that Philadelphia player and resident Tom Smith (who competes under the name Vertical Paper, pictured in action, right) has brought the bronze medal back to Philadelphia from the 2006 RPS International World Championships, which took place in Toronto this past weekend. Vertical Paper outplayed over 500 competitors on his way to laying claim to being the 3rd best RPS player in the World. Vertical Paper competes as part of the Majestic 12, one of the largest and most feared […]
PBR: Phils Re-Sign 43-Year Old Moyer To Two Year Extension, Just To See If A Major League Pitcher Can Live That Long; Bullpen To Become No-Fly Zone
Not sure how I feel about this Jamie Moyer extension. Thought it was a stroke of understated brilliance on G.M. Pat Gillick‘s part to pick up the crafty 43-year-old southpaw for the Phils’ unanticipated stretch drive. Moyer did exactly what I — and Gillick, I’m assuming — expected: soft toss his way once around a league mostly unfamiliar with him and his throwback style of American League “backwards” pitching (i.e. — working off your off-speed stuff rather than your fastball)…
PBR: Bolt-Throwing Gods of Hockey Angry, Smite Hitchcock; Whistling Past Smoking Hole In The Ice, Bobby Clarke Quits To Spend More Time With Fam
So the Flyers tried the old stealth firing, under cover of darkness and the Sabbath: Lower the boom on a Sunday morning just hours before a Birds game for minimum fallout. New Flyers Head Coach (former Phantoms coach John Stevens) and general manager (assistant G.M. Paul Holmgren) just magically appear in Voorhees on Monday. Not so fast Ed Snider and Peter Luukko. You’re living in the New Media age. You should know Comcast SportsNet is going to halt the five-hour loop of SportsRise, get Michael Barkann, Neil Hartman and Al Morganti (guess the Erotic Caf? was closed) out of bed […]
PBR: Does Dr. J Got The Benjamins To Buy The Sixers? And Why Stephen A. Smith Makes Us Want To Saw Our Cocks Off
The Daily News‘ Phil Jasner has some Deep Throat dish on Dr. J putting together a consortium to buy the Sixers from Comcast-Spectacor. I haven’t been this stoked about a celebrity assembling a group to purchase a local team since former Gong Show host and C.I.A. operative Chuck Barris (with silent partners Jamie Farr, Jaye P. Morgan and the Unknown Comic) tried to purchase the Phillies from the Carpenter family in the ’80s. Hey, we’re basically riding out the A.I. era at this point and stockpiling midlevel draft picks. This definitely qualifies as big news for the Sixers…Stephen A. Smith. […]
PBR: The Lonesome Horny Death Of PRISM
Big ups to the 700 Level (Even if they didn’t know Joe Morgan played for the Phillies. Hello? The Wheeze Kids?) for posting video of PRISM’s fond farewell. This poignant goodbye from baseball/college basketball analyst Larry Rosen (who I’m certain is still calling hoops somewhere) followed the rarest of occasions — a Phillies victory in 1997. Sadly, I think the channel faded to black about halfway through Larry’s spiel. Anyway, for you youngins and transplants out there, PRISM (Philadelphia Regional In-Home Sports and Movies) was a local cable channel catering to males from the late ’70s through 1997. They broadcasted […]
PBR: Reggie Brown Is NOT Rick James, Bitch!
The biggest source of suck for regional sports networks like the ever-metastasizing Comcast SportsNet franchise is that after the games end, there’s a lot of airtime to fill. There’s only so much pre- and post-game analysis the audience can metabolize before they get the runs. Ditto the newspaper-sponsored round tables where goateed talking heads play devil’s advocate and rehash yesterday’s analysis. What you’re left with is LOTS of paid programming, the occasional CFL grudge match between Hamilton and Calgary and “original” programming like the trainwreck I forced myself to watch last night: CSN’s Monday Night Live. The premise: the likeable, […]
PBR: The Lonesome Death Of The Lonesome Organist
PBR is our regular sports column, wherein our man in the Jersey ‘Burbs calls Philly sports and sports-media as he sees ’em. His name is Patrick Berkery and he plays drums for the Pernice Brothers and, get this, he actually gives a shit about sports. Weird, huh? Born & raised on a steady diet of Birds, Phils, Flyers and boiled potatoes. Phillies season ticket holder since 1978. Longs for the days of Jim Barniak & Spectrum Wrestling on Prism. Thinks all sportwriters dress funny and should stay off TV. Except Phil Sheridan. His feelings on the Philadelphia Eagles are not […]