BOSTON PHOENIX: In his bestselling autobiography, Dreams From My Father, President Obama introduces us to his high school friend, “Ray,” who, like him, is bi-racial. Who, also like him, is casting about to find his place in the world. But, who, unlike him, has a potty mouth that would make a sailor blush. Best of all? When reading the audiobook version of his bio, Obama does impressions of Ray’s manner of speech. Swear words and all. It’s fucking awesome. And it’s a way of talking we probably won’t be hearing from him now that he’s POTUS. Or will we? MORE […]
BUZZ KILL: Now Can We Have A Grown-Up Conversation About Marijuana? Of Course, NOT!
NEWS OF THE WORLD: This is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history. In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong. The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis. And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER. Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed […]
WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour
The Good News Flower Hour #7 The latest edition of our five-minute week-in-review, wherein I’m a flower that reads the news. This is by far the best one yet. Hats off to our partners in crime at Collateral News and Woodshop Films.
WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour
The Good News Flower Hour #6 All the news that fits — in a five minute week-in-review read by a cartoon flower that sounds…wait for it…JUST LIKE ME. Enjoy.
BIRD STRIKE: Cards Make It Safe To Shave Again
PHILADELPHIA 25 PHOENIX 32 USA TODAY: GLENDALE, Ariz. — For 30 minutes after the 32-25 loss to the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday, Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackles Brodrick Bunkley and Mike Patterson sat side-by-side at their lockers, staring into space and saying nothing. What was there to say after Philadelphia advanced to the NFC Championship Game for the fifth time in eight years and turned all of that opportunity into one Super Bowl appearance, a painful 24-21 setback to the New England Patriots to close the 2004 season? MORE RELATED: Eff Da Refs!
WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour
The Good News Flower Hour #5 After a holiday hiatus, The Good News Flower Hour returns with all the news of the week that fits — in a five minute cartoon narrated by a flower that sounds JUST LIKE ME! You’re welcome.
WE WILL ROCK YOU: Birds Kick Giants To The Curb
PHILADELPHIA 23 NEW YORK 11
WE WILL ROCK YOU: BeardsBirds Crush Vikings
PHILADELPHIA 26 MINNESOTA 14 *** WHOOPSIE: Pay-To-Play Probe Ends Richardson Commerce Secretary Bid WASHINGTON POST: New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, chosen by President-elect Barack Obama to be commerce secretary, withdrew from consideration yesterday, citing an ongoing federal “pay-to-play” investigation involving one of his political donors as a significant obstacle to his confirmation. Richardson, 61, who competed unsuccessfully for the Democratic presidential nomination last year, becomes the first political casualty in Obama’s Cabinet, and his withdrawal marked the first visible crack in what had been one of the smoothest presidential transitions in modern history. MORE RELATED: Picture of Richardson Beating Up […]
WEEKEND UPDATE: The Good News Flower Hour
The Good News Flower Hour #4 Folks, here’s the latest installment of The Good News Flower Hour, wherein I provide the voice for a flower that reads the news. The debut is HERE and the last couple episodes are HERE and HERE. We are still tweaking the concept and streamlining the production schedule on these — it takes a LONG-ass time to make these little three-minute suckers — but we hope to make this a weekly feature in the very near future. Enjoy.
BREAKING: Sweet Little Baby Jesus Stolen
INQUIRER: The National Park Service is investigating the theft of a nearly life-sized statuette of a baby Jesus that was stolen from a crèche at Fifth and Market Streets near Independence Hall. According to Jane Cowley of the Park Service, the theft was discovered over the weekend by a member of the maintenance staff. The statuette was due to be replaced by the Ancient Order of Hibernians and the Knights of Columbus. Cowley said this was the first time in memory that such a theft had occurred. The statuette had been bolted to the floor of the display. No other […]
DUCK: Iraqi Journalist Hurls Shoes At Bush’s Head
Shoe-Hurling Iraqi Becomes a Folk Hero UPDATE: BAGHDAD — An Iraqi journalist who hurled his shoes at President Bush and called him a dog became a huge celebrity in the Arab world and beyond on Monday, with many supporters exalting him for what they called a courageous act in the face of American arrogance about the war. MORE CNN: An Iraqi television journalist hurled two shoes at President Bush on Sunday during a joint news conference Bush was holding with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki to mark the signing of a U.S.-Iraq security agreement. Bush had just finished his […]
NO MO: 76ers Fire Head Coach Maurice Cheeks
INQUIRER: A source close to the 76ers has confirmed that Sixers head coach Maurice Cheeks has been fired and the interim coach will be Tony DiLeo, who is currently the Senior Vice President and Assistant General Manager. DiLeo will coach tonight’s home game against the Washington Wizards and, a source close to the Sixers confirmed that DiLeo will coach the team through the end of the season. The official word coming from the Sixers at this point in “no comment.” MORE WASHINGTON POST: The 76ers became the fifth team to fire its head coach this season when they replaced Maurice […]
NEWS CLUES: Like A Student Massacre Of The Truth
Pottstown Teen Charged In Columbine-Style School Shooting Plot A 15-year-old freshman was charged yesterday with criminal attempt to commit first-degree murder for planning to “shoot everyone he did not like” at Pottstown High School, Montgomery County District Attorney Risa Vetri Ferman said. Richard Yanis planned to use three firearms and ammunition that he had stolen from his father’s gun collection and given to a friend to hold, Ferman said at a news conference in Norristown. But the plan unraveled when the suspect’s father, Michael Yanis, 52, reported the guns stolen Nov. 11, touching off an intense, month-long investigation by police […]