BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Ah, the Mueller report, that highly anticipated piece of political parchment that was expected to be at least a half-filled holy grail of truth, justice and the American way. Except that it isn’t. Granted, it did incontrovertibly cement the FACT that Trump was every bit the pathologically lying, incompetent, insecure, morally rancid refuse heap that more than half of us already knew he was. Unfortunately, such public exposure will no doubt provide little solace for those who hoped it might at least be the beginning of the end of His Hindass’s habitation at 1600 Pennsylvania […]

Illustration by DONKEY HOTEY< /font> BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Kirstjen Nielsen, the unceremoniously axed Homeland Security Secretary, doesn’t want you to cry for her. Well, don’t you worry that morally vacant, Auschwitz-train-platform-reminiscent, blackened heart of yours, Kirstjen, I won’t shed a tear (the Trump administration has admitted that it could take another TWO YEARS to locate and reunite all of the children separated from their families). Although that’s not the sole reason for this rant, it’s definitely concurrent. Actually, Kirstjen’s appalling acquiescence and far-from-sufficient “just deserts” serve as near perfect illustrations of the malevolence and mismanagement that lurks in every […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I know it’s early but with your leave I’d like to proffer two cents worth of Democrat “ticket” picking regarding the duos I believe offer the donkeys their best chances for success in 2020. First off, I semi-unequivocally submit that the winning ticket must be headed by a jenny (that’s the female equus africanus asinus for all ye non-farm dwellers). Why? Well, let us never forget that Hillary won the last election overwhelmingly, and but for the Russians and the slaveholding states’ Constitutional recalcitrance, she would now be revving up her return for a second […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I promised you a rant regarding Trump’s raging against the horrors of Democrat SOCIALISM and vowing he will NEVER allow America to become a SOCIALIST country. So, here it is: According to one Donald J. Trump, president of the United States of America, the Democrat party is dead set on forcing wholesale SOCIALISM down the country’s collective throat beginning in 2020, and he is the only politician alive who can prevent them from doing so. Oh my, all I can say is thank God we’ve got someone sufficiently au fait with the nation’s past 85 […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY This just in: Betsy DeVos, in what is arguably the most unconscionable and cartoonishly evil proposed budget cut from this satanic administration, wants to cut the 18 MILLION dollar$ from her Department of Education budget earmarked for the 2020 Special Olympics. As Betsy so DeVosly stated it: “We had to make some difficult decisions.” She goes on to say that funding for the Special Olympics should come from private philanthropy. Capital idea! If DeVos sold just ONE of her 10 yachts — or if Trump personally covered the cost of just SIX of his golf+unlimited […]

  You know, ever since I read Doug Bock Clark’s GQ article about Otto Warmbier there’s been something bothering me, but I couldn’t quite bring it to mind. Now I can. It was the part about supposed “in the know” individuals (yes, those are my words but they quite accurately express the gist) feeling that a suicide attempt could plausibly explain Otto’s physical and mental condition upon his return. What was NOT offered, however, was ANY kind of explanation/supposition as to what he might conceivably have used to commit such an act, or how he might conceivably have gone about […]

Illustration by MARK BRYAN BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Okay, quick joke to shake off the chill. Take all five of these names: Donald J. Trump, Mitch McConnell, Jim Jordan, Trey Gowdy, Devin Nunes. What do they all have in common? Answer: In addition to being the five most dangerous people in America, every time the latter four have been observed departing the Oval Office, each was seen holding a hankie to his nose, and you were said to have immediately demanded that Pence find you some Preparation H! Like I said, just a little levity to kick this missive off. […]

Illustration by MARK BRYANT BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Hi there. Me again. Just checking to make sure you’re all right. I mean, have you gotten help after that wacked out, absurd and really quite asinine little tantrum you let loose with on Friday? Wow, that was a doozy. I was concerned that the EMT folks might not get to you in time. Did you make it to Walter Reed before you went into shock? Are you still hospitalized? Sure hope you get some “experienced” attention. The only reason I say “experienced” is, well, how do I put this delicately? It’s […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I know that you’ve been variously described as The Artist of the Deal, The Great Deal Maker, and Master of the Deal. High praise indeed! Except that it’s all horseshit! Face it, Mr. Fraudster, you can’t–and NEVER could–deal your way out of a paper bag–or into a poker hand bluff–if your bankrupt, bullying, welshing, dodging, LIFE depended on it. For Christ’s sake, even your claimed authorship of that so-called “deal” book has been branded as COUNTERFEIT! So, where was all that purported EXTRAORDINARY “deal making” skill of yours whensomething as crucial as national security (your […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Question: How can you tell if the President is lying? Answer: His mouth is open. So, after two-plus years of the President of the United States continuously lying through his dentures (the latest total by the Washington Post is 8,158 lies and counting) about his motives for failing to give a shit about the lives (literally) and livelihoods of millions of American workers and their families, I feel it only politic to conduct a deservedly dubious in-depth re-examination of the veracity of his claims regarding the benefits ensuing to his dupable I’m-always-going-to-believe-anything-he-says-regardless-of-any-documented-evidence-to-the-contrary-and-besides-he’s-a-dedicated-racist-and-misogynist-so-why-wouldn’t-I-believe-him “base” from previously […]

Artwork via WHAT THOR TOLD ME BY WILLIAM C. HENRY How do I hate the orange man who lives in a white house of pain and the theater of cruelty he has staged for the past 24 days? Let me count the ways. For starters, folks, did you know that the Texas REPUBLICAN U.S. Representative whose district includes more southern border — 820 MILES — than ANY other politician in the southwest does NOT want this COMPLETELY ASININE WALL constructed! But, this completely ASININE Republican President of ours DOES! And, to make matters even more horrendously ASININE, this completely ASININE […]