The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c The Daily Show on Facebook Freshly-nominated for an Oscar for his role as a hiker who gets his hand stuck under a rock and has to cut it off to survive, James Franco gets his hand stuck in the mini-fridge in the Green Room of the Daily Show while reaching for a Snickers and is about to cut it off before, mercifully, Jon Stewart intervenes with some common sense.
UNSTOPPABLE: Duck Boats To Re-Take Delaware
INQUIRER: Just hours after the city rejected a plan Tuesday to move the duck boats to the Schuylkill, the company that operates them said it plans to return to the Delaware River, the site of a July 7 accident that killed two Hungarian tourists. There appear to be few hurdles in the way – at least for now. The Coast Guard has cleared Ride the Ducks, the Georgia company that runs the business, to resume operations on the Delaware. Joseph Forkin, vice president of the Delaware River Waterfront Corp. (DRWC), which holds the lease for the ramp the ducks use, […]
New Line Of Marijuana Soda To Debut In Colorado
TIME: A company based in Soquel, Calif., has created a new line of soda pot — or, marijuana soda — that it plans to launch in Colorado in February. Canna Cola isn’t the first marijuana soda on the market, but its designer Clay Butler, who said he has never used marijuana or smoked a cigarette but is a “firm believer that adults have an inalienable right to think, eat, smoke, drink, ingest, decorate, dress any way they choose,” told the Santa Cruz Sentinel that his beverage collection will be distinguished by marketing. “You look at all the marijuana products out […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: With Your Host AP Ticker
This week, AP discusses explains how West Philly High School student Brandon Ford got invited to sit with the First Lady for the State of The Union address, the Gosnell abortion horror show, and the Onion coming to town. Also, he explains why the U.S. will not be able to indict or extradite Wikileaks’ Julian Assange and pays tribute to his old pal Don Kirshner of Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert fame.
REALITY CHECK: Taco Bell Sued For Falsely Advertising Mysterious Meat-Like Substance As Beef
FOX NEWS: The suit against the YUM-brands chain also has a “beef” with the company’s advertising, charging its claims of using “seasoned ground beef” or “seasoned beef” in its food products is false. According to the suit filed by the Alabama law firm Beasley, Allen, Crow, Methvin, Portis & Miles, the YUM-brands owned chain is using a meat mixture that contains binders and extenders, and does not meet the minimum requirements set by the U.S. Department of Agriculture to be labeled as “beef.” Attorney Dee Miles said the meat mixture contained just 35 percent beef, with the remaining 65 percent […]
EARLY WORD: The Dismemberment Plan And I
BY DAVE ALLEN Every show begins the same way: “We’re the Dismemberment Plan from Washington, D.C.” The history section of the band’s website provides a helpful elaboration: “The Dismemberment Plan was based in, and very much a natural result of, Washington, D.C.” It makes sonic sense: the Plan brought together the jazzy cut-ups and frenetic energy of Fugazi and other D.C. punk acts, the glittering synths and deep bass of go-go, the driving percussion and MC-like delivery that both styles featured, and made you dance to it. When I discovered the band, I was based in rural Frederick County, Maryland, […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR Our universe might be really, really big — but finite. Or it might be infinitely big. Both cases, says physicist Brian Greene, are possibilities, but if the latter is true, so is another posit: There are only so many ways matter can arrange itself within that infinite universe. Eventually, matter has to repeat itself and arrange itself in similar ways. So if the universe is infinitely large, it is also home to infinite parallel universes. Does that sound confusing? Try this: Think of the universe like a deck of cards. “Now, if you shuffle that deck, there’s just […]
LYKKE LI: Get Some
She plays the TLA on May 16th.
TONIGHT: State Of The Union B-I-N-G-O
Tonight, head over to the National Constitution Center to, um, play bingo? Why, yes! The Center will be hosting a FREE State of the Union Address viewing party from 7:30 to 10 PM. The night’s entertainment includes a pregame of Constitutional Quizzo and a “Lurid Lives of the Founding Fathers” tour of Signers’ Hall — which we can only imagine will be full of sexual intrigue, fallen horses, depression, gout, and maybe even syphilis! Attendees receive free access to all Center exhibitions, including the featured “Art of the American Soldier” show — an impressive collection of over 15,000 paintings and […]
PENTAGON SOURCES: U.S. Investigators Unable To Establish A Connection Between Manning And Assange
[Photo by DEVOLVE] THE GUARDIAN: US investigators have been unable to find evidence directly linking WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange and Bradley Manning, the army private suspected of passing on confidential documents to the whistleblowing website, according to a report last night. Jim Miklaszewski, NBC News’s chief Pentagon correspondent, reported sources inside the US military as saying they could detect no contact between Manning and Assange. If accurate, then US authorities have no realistic chance of successfully prosecuting or extraditing Assange for the leak of thousands of classified documents. MORE RELATED: Manning, a 23-year-old Army private suspected of passing thousands of […]
WILL BUNCH: If You Knew Keith Olbermann Like I Do
WILL BUNCH: I went to high school with Keith Olbermann; in fact he was the first editor, on our school newspaper, that I ever worked for (I’m about 10 days older than Olbermann, but he had skipped two grades ahead of me — even his enemies have never said the guy isn’t smart!). So we knew each other somewhat, way back when, and then about seven or eight years ago we became occasional email buddies; I’ve also been a guest on Countdown twice. So when I watched Olbermann on MSNBC, there’s always been an element of “I knew him when” […]
TEARS OF A CLOWN: Is That A Boehner In The Pocket Of Corporations Or Are They Just Glad To See Him?
MATT TAIBBI: John Boehner is the ultimate Beltway hack, a man whose unmatched and self-serving skill at political survival has made him, after two decades in Washington, the hairy blue mold on the American congressional sandwich. The biographer who somewhere down the line tackles the question of Boehner’s legacy will do well to simply throw out any references to party affiliation, because the thing that has made Boehner who he is — the thing that has finally lifted him to the apex of legislative power in America — has almost nothing to do with his being a Republican. The Democrats […]
WORTH REPEATING: Why Louis CK Doesn’t Talk About Sarah Palin’s Vagina On Twitter Anymore
LOUIS CK: The first time I did it I thought, “I should not have done that. I’m not going to do it again.” And then I did it again because I thought, “Fuck these people.” Who says you can’t say something, you know? How fucking sacred is this person who’s never contributed one thing to anyone’s life but her own? And not even thinking about her politically or whatever she represents, it’s just that she’s just a coarse, selfish person who has ferocious protection and it makes no sense to me. I just open my open my stupid Twitter mouth […]