Hello AOL NEWS Readers! If You Lived Here, You Would Be Home By Now! You Could Have It So Much Better With Phawker! Hello AOL NEWS Readers!

EDITOR’S NOTE: First, let me say we are positively flattered to rank up there with Monkeyfister and Daily Pulse — feels like we’ve arrived. Second, ordinarily we couldn’t care less if this guy fucked rocks, as long as the rocks were consenting adults. Whatever gets you through the night, man. But this guy runs with a pack of Christo-fascist Elmer Gantrys that used their considerable influence over their mega-church flocks to whip up a lot of misinformed and gullible people into a baseless hysteria about gay people, just so they could turn out the vote for their RNC taskmasters. We […]

SAD TO SAY: ‘Godfather Of Talk Radio’ Goes Silent

Veteran Philly talk host Irv Homer [pictured, middle] said goodbye Friday to WBCB (1490-AM), where he had been hosting afternoons for about five years. The former WWDB and WPHT talker told us yesterday it was his choice to leave and “the program had run its course.” Homer, 82, said he’ll spend his time working at the Sunshine Foundation, the children’s charity. He’s not planning to return to radio but says “if any station wants me, they know how to reach me.” Fans can visit irvhomer.com to keep in touch. DAN GROSS: To The Man Who Coined The Phrase ‘Boobus Americana’ […]

HOT DOCUMENT: Inquirer Hires Mr. Clean

TO: PHAWKER FROM: Michael Smerconish DATE: 2/6/07 SUBJECT: Me! I want you to be among the first to hear some personal/professional news. I’ve just agreed to write a weekly column for the Philadelphia Inquirer. No, hell has not frozen over. (Thank goodness for global warming or it might have.) While I’ve had plenty to say about the Inquirer over the years, I have never denied that it IS the newspaper of record for Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware. The invitation for me to come aboard suggests that the Inquirer truly wishes to broaden the blend of opinion offered in its […]

EDITORIAL: No Matter What Rush Limbaugh Is Talking About — Iraq, Football, Yummy Oxycontin — It Always Seems To Come Down To ‘How Scary Black People Are’

“We’re concerned with death here. We’re concerned with body counts. We’re concerned with the breakdown of law and order. [inaudible] Insurgencies, gangs, whatever you want to call them. They’re out of control in major American cities, and Philadelphia is just one example, and where are the hearings on this? Oh, I know. Senator [Joseph R.] Biden [D-DE] and Speaker [Nancy] Pelosi [D-CA] are too busy trying to weaken the commander-in-chief so we can’t win the war in Iraq. They are not only invested in defeat, they can’t allow victory. They simp — politically, they cannot allow it. Four-hundred-and-six Philadelphians murdered […]

VIET-NOW: These Are People Who Died

[Click Image To Enlarge] In January more than 1,900 people — soldiers, security officers and civilians — were killed in the insurgency in Iraq, up from 800 in January 2006. Many corpses showed signs of torture, meaning the victims were probably killed by religious and tribal death squads. [Source New York Times] HORSEFEATHERS: Rush Limabaugh Compares Philly Murder Rate To Baghdad, Wonders Where The Outrage Is, Almost Like He Cares, Almost [Audio]

FILM: ERASERHEAD NOW 1977-2007

BY DAN BUSKIRK FILM CRITIC By now, after 10 feature films, assorted shorts and TV’s weirdest nighttime soap, we have mapped many of the dark recesses of the psyche of writer/director David Lynch. We know just what provocations push his buttons. We can relax into a comfort zone now while Lynch unleashes his expected tropes — the bugs twitching underground, the violent sex, the ironic old pop songs, the flashes of gore and morphing identities. Yet somehow, despite his mannerisms becoming ever more familiar, the years have done little to dull the effect of Lynch’s debut masterpiece, 1977’s sleepwalking vision […]

OBAMA TO MEDIA: STOP HURTING AMERICA

Illinois Senator Barack Obama made a plea for a positive campaign, insisting that the “reality tv show” mentality fed by the 24-hour news cycle is “not why we are here.” Describing America as being in a “sobering place” Obama said this is “not a contest; it is a serious moment for America. The American people understand that. Every candidate will have something serious and valuable to offer. Campaigns should not be about making each other look bad but about how we can offer something good for this precious country of ours. Our rivals won’t be each other or the other […]

NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

FRESH AIR WITH TERRY GROSS Cultural historian Christopher Frayling is the author of Once Upon A Time in Italy: The Westerns of Sergio Leone, a large-format, beautifully illustrated book that chronicles the history of the spaghetti western. Frayling tells the story of the movie genre and the iconic director through researched text and interviews with Clint Eastwood, Martin Scorsese and Eli Wallach. Frayling is rector at London’s Royal College of Art and a professor of cultural history. He is also chair of the Arts Council of England. He’s known for his broadcast work on the BBC and has written more […]

Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

Today we are handing out nothing but lollipops and sunshine, because EVERYBODY wins this week! To wit, simultaneously strong cover art and, rarer still, strong-ass cover stories from both CP and PW this week. And in a curious coincidence, both tackle the drug issue from intriguing angles. CP’s Jeff Deeney reminds us that a fool and his coke whore are soon parted, especially when you rack up $16,000 on your credit card. (Here’s an idea: how about you find a girlfriend and buy a case of Red Bull instead, hmmm?) Yeah, the story states the obvious, but readers LOVE following […]