BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
VALANIA: Last Night I Sneaked Into The Tea Party
BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR THE PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY A word of warning: The story you are about to read is neither fair nor balanced; just true. The other night I snuck into the Tea Party, like a spy in the House of Glenn Beck Love, and nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. You know about the Tea Party movement, right? The populist jihad—sponsored by Fox News, FreedomWorks, the Taliban wing of the Republican Party and the rest of the Dick Armey—that’s putting the RIOT back in PATRIOT. They’re white as hell and they’re not gonna take the 2008 presidential election anymore. […]
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: The Week That Was
With your host, A.P. Ticker.
MEDIA: Conan’s $500,000 F*ck You Farewell To NBC
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] According to ?uestlove, Tom Hanks’ walkout song on the finale of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien — the Beatles’ “Lovely Rita”, in honor of Hanks’ wife Rita Wilson — cost NBC $500,000. ?UESTLOVE: yo i hate spoiling but i will have you know that walk on song we just heard was half a milli. i know cause i got the list rate at nbc…tom’s walkon music on conan is on my “restricted” list—wow a $500,000 walkon song lol. [via TWITTER] CONAN O’BRIEN: “All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young […]
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
There’s Tea Party In His Pants & Everyone’s Invited!
THE INDEPENDENT: As voters in Massachusetts flooded polling centres yesterday to choose a successor to the late Senator Ted Kennedy, there was one image of the Republican runner, Scott Brown, that may or may not have been in their minds: half prone and naked with only a carefully placed hand hiding his most precious assets. A campaign poster this was not. Rather it was the picture of him that graced a spread inside Cosmopolitan magazine when it named him “America’s Sexiest Man” in 1982. Had it emerged sooner, the portrait could have put the brakes on the Brown insurgency. As […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: The Week That Was
With your host, A.P. Ticker.
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: The Week That Was
With your host A. P. Ticker.
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
MEDIA: Conan Vs. The Barbarians
UPDATE: Hours after releasing a statement that he will not do “The Tonight Show” if his new airtime is 12:05 a.m., late night comedian Conan O’Brien took to the airwaves pulling no punches. After receiving more applause than usual, O’Brien urged his fans to settle down, quipping that “I may not have that much time.” His employer, NBC, had planned to unceremoniously oust the host from his 11:35 p.m. ET time slot come February to make room for a Jay Leno program. “My name is Conan O’Brien and I may soon be available for children’s parties,” he announced. He then […]
New York Times Editorial Questions Penn Study Questioning The Effectiveness Of Anti-Depressants
NEW YORK TIMES: Last week, The Journal of the American Medical Association published a study questioning the effectiveness of antidepressant drugs. The drugs are useful in cases of severe depression, it said. But for most patients, those with mild to moderate cases, the most commonly used antidepressants are generally no better than a placebo. […] And the real test of an antidepressant is not just whether it can lift someone out of depression; it is whether it can keep depression from returning. For a vast majority of people with depression, the illness is chronic. Relapses and low-level symptoms between episodes […]
ARTIE LANGE: Hurt
PREVIOUSLY: God Save Artie Lange, Please