BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
TONITE: Walk Like A Man, Talk Like A Girl
[Photo by ANDREW STRASSER] BY DAVE ALLEN Talk about getting your peanut butter in my chocolate: Lil Mama rhyming about her lipgloss mashed-up with the hammering of Metallica‘s “One.” Youngbloodz declaring that he don’t give a fuck to the smooth organ strains of Procol Harum. The dance music of Girl Talk, AKA Gregg Gillis, is so loaded with these types of bizarre combinations that you could almost measure it in terms of WTFs instead of BPMs, but Gillis’ skills in keeping the grooves seamless behind the constantly-changing samples makes his latest, Feed the Animals, an ear-worming winner (now playing on […]
THE SMEAR COMES HERE: Philly Booking Agency Takes Heat For ‘Palling Around With Terrorists’
DAN GROSS: Evil Twin Booking, a West Philly-based talent agency, has been inundated with e-mails and phone calls related to its representation of former Weather Underground radical Bill Ayers. Gov. Sarah Palin has recently ramped up criticism of Sen. Barack Obama‘s ties to Ayers, who, along with his wife, Bernardine Dohrn, and other members of the radical group bombed various government buildings in the ’70s. Obama and Ayers, now a University of Illinois professor, served on a nonprofit foundation’s board together and Ayers once hosted a party for Obama. We’re told that Evil Twin Booking/Lost Film Fest partners Scott Beibin and […]
GO BAMA: The Man Comes Around
PHILADELPHIA – Sen. Barack Obama will barnstorm the city of Philadelphia on Saturday, making four stops within the city. At each stop, Sen. Obama will discuss his plans to strengthen our economy, lower taxes on Pennsylvania’s middle class families and give tax breaks to companies that create jobs in the United States. The trip comes just days after Pennsylvania’s voter registration deadline, completing a three-month effort by Obama-Biden organizers that saw the gap between registered Democrats and Republicans grow to nearly 1.2 million. The campaign now turns its attention to generating volunteers for what will be an unprecedented Get-Out-The-Vote effort. […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR Fliers warning that people with outstanding warrants or unpaid parking tickets could be arrested if they show up at the polls on election day appeared recently in predominantly African-American neighborhoods of Philadelphia. Zach Stalberg, the president of the nonpartisan watchdog group Committee of Seventy, suggests that a Republican Party supporter may have posted the fliers in an effort discourage voters. A native Philadelphian, Stalberg was the editor of the Philadelphia Daily News for 20 years. In 2005, he became president of the Committee of Seventy, a group founded in 1904 with a mission to improve the Philadelphia region […]
Top Five Reasons You Shoulda Blown Off The Debate To See Nick Cave At The Electric Factory Last Night
1. Nick Cave is not dead yet. Without hanging too much on the whole “Lazarus” metaphor, Nick Cave does seem to be back to doing what he does best. The greasy factory as church and even greasier congregation groping through the darkness as they approach judgment? Yeah, still intact. (SEE “We Call Upon the Author”) Biblical parables that veer into porno and somehow emerge as romance? Yup. (SEE “Lie Down Here (and Be My Girl)”) Songs that start out delicately and comforting with the patient beauty of an emerging butterfly before shaking you awake with visions of baby-eating wolves? Hell […]
BIG LOVE: Here Come The Mormons
INQUIRER: A new Mormon temple will be constructed on the 400 block of North Broad Street across from the Philadelphia School District headquarters, the church announced today. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said it will build the temple on a parking lot it owns on Broad Street between Noble and Hamilton Streets. According to city tax records, the church paid $8 million in October 2007 for two lots totaling 33,400 square feet — less than an acre. The land is now occupied by a private parking lot surrounded by chain-link fence. Mormon Church president Thomas S. Monsoon […]
TONITE: Get Up, Old Man! Get The Fuck Up!
[Artwork by FLYOVERSTATE] Tune in tonight for the snarkiest bi-coastal debate coverage on the Internet! You may not learn anything, but it will make you feel better. Tonight’s analysts will be JONATHAN VALANIA and JEFF DEENEY on the East Coast (Philadelphia, to be exact) and CITIZEN MOM who will be watching from the West Coast (Portland, to be exact). Starts around 9 PM. You betcha! UPDATE: The insta-polls, which provide viewers with a somewhat skewed but important insight into how each candidate fared say, by and large, that Obama scored a victory in the second debate. MORE deeney: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?????? HE […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] FRESH AIR Author and activist Antonia Juhasz argues that the oil industry’s grip on policy and government has never been stronger. What’s more, Juhasz says, the business and politics of oil’s production pose such grave implications on so many fronts — the environment, human rights, the economy, worker safety, public health — that the current state of petroleum-industry affairs is fundamentally antithetical to democracy. Juhasz, a fellow at the petro-critic organization Oil Change International and at the Institute for Policy Studies, documents her concerns — and lays out proposed remedies — in her new book, The […]
SMELLS LIKE JOURNALISM: How The Justice System Killed A Woman For The Crime Of Schizophrenia
[Photo by LINDA DG] INQUIRER: Sandy Morgan didn’t have a receipt when she walked out of the Boothwyn Wal-Mart with more than $500 worth of dolls, toys and girls’ clothes. In her mind, she didn’t need one. She owned Wal-Mart, she told a manager who tried to stop her. Sandy knew things others didn’t. She knew she owned many stores and she knew the television transmitted demons. She took care to protect her family: She threatened the demons with knives and a broken mop handle; she threw away food she was sure was poisoned. It was a strain, fighting things […]
ROAD RAGE: Dad Shot In Head As Daughter Watches
DAILY NEWS: Thomas Timko, 40, remains in critical condition at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania after being shot in the head by an enraged motorist shortly after 8 p.m. Sunday. Timko, of Lebanon, N.J., had just passed over the Walt Whitman Bridge and was traveling westbound on Interstate 76 into Philadelphia with his 8-year-old daughter when he pulled his Toyota Highlander over to the shoulder for an unknown reason, said Lt. Frank Vanore, city police spokesman. Soon after, he merged back into traffic and engaged in an argument with another motorist near the Passyunk Avenue exit, Vanore said. […]
Top 5 Reasons Death Cab Was Better Than Whatever Post-Emo Casino Floorshow You Caught Last Night
TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE: Death Cab For Cutie, House Of Blues, Atlantic City, Last Night 1. Death Cab for Cutie invited the ever-charming St Vincent to open the show, and she succeeded in charming the very skinny pants off the entire skinny pants collective that was the crowd. Smart pickin’s by the Seattle quartet! 2. Death Cab for Cutie’s latest record, Narrow Stairs, translates exceptionally to the stage–something 2005’s painfully boring “Plans” cannot say. The upbeat new single “No Sunshine” and “Long Division,” along with the full ten-minute version of “I Will Possess Your Heart,” were standouts of […]
CONCERT REVIEW: Untucked At Tuxedo Junction
BACK IN THE DAY: Philadelphia Orchestra, March 2nd, 1916 BY DAVE ALLEN I though that jeans and an untucked dress shirt might fly at a new-music event: the kickoff concert for Orchestra 2001’s 20th-anniversary season, held at the Perelman Theater on Friday. Nope. Suits and ties ruled the night, even by the few age-group peers in the crowd (I later found out they were students of one of the evening’s performers). But no matter: even if formality held sway in the audience, the evening’s program, including two world premieres, was bound to shake things up. The concert opened with a […]