BY JONATHAN VALANIA Just kidding, but I will be traveling to Bogota, Columbia next week and filing dispatches from my adventures in the Amazon — as long as the free wireless in the jungle is as plentiful and reliable as I am assuming it is. In my stead, Amy Quinn, aka Citizen Mom, will be running the good ship Phawker. Her email is citizenmom@gmail.com, please feel free to contact her with news tips, salacious gossip and idle flattery. Yes, I know Colombia is risky for American tourists, but I have instructed Amy to run a very flattering photo of me […]
WTF: Judge Denies Bail For ‘Jena Six’ Teen
ASSOCIATED PRESS: A relative of one of the Jena Six says a judge has denied bail for Mychal Bell, the only one of the teens who is jailed in the beating of a white classmate. Attorneys would not comment because juvenile court proceedings are secret. But the father of one of Bell’s co-defendants said Bell’s bail request was rejected. Bell’s mother left the courthouse in tears and refused to comment.
We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It
IN THE PINES: Brett Sparks of Handsome Family, World Cafe Live, Last Night BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR THE INQUIRER If Edgar Allan Poe had an alt-country band, it would sound a lot like the Handsome Family: Stark, forlorn, and plumbing the tawdry depths of the dark night of the soul with a verbal acuity far beyond most mortal men. Nevermind that the lyrics are written by Rennie Sparks, Handsome Family bassist/banjoist and wife of Handsome Family singer/guitarist Brett Sparks, who lends Rennie’s darkside narratives a Mount Rushmore gravitas with his deep, resonant baritone. Uncommonly good lyrics is what separates Handsome […]
HOT DOCUMENT: Virginia Tech Redux
September 21, 2007 TIMELY WARNING NOTIFICATION Sept. 21, 2007 (5:10 a.m.) Classes Canceled due to Shooting on Campus (update) Classes on the Dover campus of Delaware State University have been canceled for Friday, Sept. 21 in the wake of an early morning shooting at the institution that has left two students wounded and a suspect at large. All non-essential personnel are directed not to report to work on this day. The primary priorities of the University at the point are the safety of the residential student population and the DSU Police investigation of the shooting. DSU Police Department with the […]
DOPE: Floyd Landis Stripped Of Tour De France Crown
INQUIRER: Floyd Landis, the Lancaster County cyclist whose sensational 2006 Tour de France victory was tainted almost immediately by an equally sensational drug scandal, was officially stripped of his title yesterday when arbitrators upheld a test result that indicated he had used synthetic testosterone.Landis, who spent $2 million for a defense that included a bitter public hearing in California, now has one final option: He has a month to appeal the arbitrator’s 2-1 decision to the international Court of Arbitration for Sport. He has been vociferously proclaiming his innocence ever since, four days after his Tour victory, a French lab […]
SALLY FIELD: Sing Goddamn
FOX censored Sally Field’s anti-war comments during her acceptance speech at the Emmys. Watch MORE episodes of FOX ATTACKS
CHERTOFF: We Have Nothing To Fear But Politically-Motivated Fearmongering Itself
US Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff was in Philadelphia on Thursday to talk about the need to understand how terrorists make bombs and our need to understand how to counter them. Chertoff says improvised explosive devices are now the weapons of choice for terrorists: “Whether it’s London or Glasgow, or a sea in Germany, or Bali in the South Pacific, or here in Philadelphia, the only way to defeat an IED is to be able to detect it, prevent it and disarm it.” Chertoff says Tripwire gives bomb experts the latest bomb recipes so that law enforcement can recognize the […]
HANDSOME FAMILY: Beautiful Bride
Tonight at World Cafe Live! We are totally psyched for this!
PAPERBOY: It’s The Deeney, Stupid!
BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR For 25 years, author and journalist Ahmed Rashid has covered Pakistan, Afghanistan and Central Asia. He files for English language papers including the International Herald Tribune, The Wall Street Journal and The Daily Telegraph. Based in Lahore, Rashid is the author of the bestselling books, Taliban and Jihad. ALSO, Critic Milo Miles reviews the new four DVD set, “Popeye the Sailor 1933-1938.” The animated series features the classic Popeye cartoons by the Fleischer brothers studios. Miles calls the set a first rate reissue. RADIO TIMES Hour 1 (Rebroadcast tonight at 11) Observers of the Justice Department say that […]
iMAYOR: Hooray! I Added Five More Cops!
When Police Commissioner Sylvester M. Johnson announced with fanfare last week that state police would be patrolling high-crime neighborhoods to help control growing gun violence, officials declined — citing strategic reasons — to say how many troopers would be involved. Yesterday, Mayor Street let it slip. The number, he said, is five. Street, in unsolicited comments, mentioned the number of troopers working with city police while he was attending a city-sponsored job fair that drew 2,000 people to the Liacouras Center in North Philadelphia yesterday morning. He complained that the news media do not cover such events, but gave significant […]
KILLADELPHIA: 2 More Dead Since U Went 2 Bed
INQUIRER: The year’s homicide count in Philadelphia reached 300 this morning after two people were found dead this morning, police said. Shortly after midnight, a young man was gunned down in North Philadelphia. About 9:30 a.m., a woman was found beaten to death in her North Philadelphia home. The shooting happened at 12:05 a.m. on the 2500 block of North 17th Street in North Philadelphia, police said. Steven Gates, 25, was shot multiple times, and was taken to Temple University Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 12:30 a.m., according to Sgt. William Gallagher. Gates lived on the 2900 block […]