JOYLESS IN MUDVILLE: Phils Eat It 10-5

BY MIKE WOLVERTON SPORTS GUY An as-it-happened account of NLDS Game 2: Top of the 1st: Kyle Kendrick on the hill. The rook has been money for the Phillies this year, winning 10 games after a June callup. Home Run, Tulowitzki. OK, it only one run. Home Run, Holliday. Oh shit. Is this whole season gonna finish up with an obscure late Saturday night loss in Denver? (notice the immediate flip-flop from optimism to doomsaying) Bottom of the 1st: The Phils really need something to feel good about, at least a run in this inning to show they wont roll […]

RIAA Wins $222,000 Downloading Suit Against Mom

In the first lawsuit over file sharing to make it to court, a jury ordered a woman who record labels claimed illegally shared songs to pay the labels $222,000. The lawsuit, filed by the Recording Industry Association of America, the record label lobbying organization, accused Jammie Thomas, a 30-year-old mother of two, of sharing more than 1,700 songs on the now defunct peer-to-peer file sharing network Kazaa. The suit contended that Thomas violated the Digital Millennium Copyright Act by distributing songs for free that belonged to the record labels. ABC NEWS: Look Out School For The Blind, Your Next! ARS […]

PAPERBOY: Spooky Edgar Allan YO! Edition

BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]

NY TIMES: No One Expected The Spanish Inquisition!

WASHINGTON, Oct. 3 — When the Justice Department publicly declared torture “abhorrent” in a legal opinion in December 2004, the Bush administration appeared to have abandoned its assertion of nearly unlimited presidential authority to order brutal interrogations. But soon after Alberto R. Gonzales‘s arrival as attorney general in February 2005, the Justice Department issued another opinion, this one in secret. It was a very different document, according to officials briefed on it, an expansive endorsement of the harshest interrogation techniques ever used by the Central Intelligence Agency. The new opinion, the officials said, for the first time provided explicit authorization […]

NPR 4 THE DEAF: Giving Public Radio Edge Since 2006

FRESH AIR In a new book about the constitutional separation of church and state, Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Garry Wills insists that that separation was meant as “the great protector of religion, not its enemy.” That, as Wills tells guest host Dave Davies, hasn’t stopped fervent believers from challenging the concept. Wills, a translator of St. Augustine and author of What Jesus Meant, is an emeritus professor of history at Northwestern University; the new book is titled Head and Heart: American Christianities. In The Secret History of the War on Cancer, environmental-health expert Devra Davis warns that we’re ignoring dozens of […]

WTF: Why The South Won’t Rise Again

MAIDEN, N.C. — Authorities say a South Carolina man who mistakenly lost his amputated leg when it was sold in a barbecue smoker at a public auction will get the appendage back. John Wood had been battling to regain custody of the leg from Shannon Whisnant. Whisnant found the leg in a barbecue smoker he purchased at an auction of Wood’s belongings last week. Whisnant first turned the leg over to police but later claimed ownership of it, saying he wanted to charge admission for people to see it. Wood’s leg was amputated three years ago after an airplane crash. […]

KILLADELPHIA: 2 More Dead Since U Went 2 Work

BLOOMBERG NEWS: Oct. 4 PHILADELPHIA — Two guards for Securitas AB’s Loomis cash-handling unit were killed during the robbery of an armored car this morning in the northeastern part of Philadelphia, police said. The robbery happened at about 8 a.m. local time in the parking lot of a Wachovia Bank branch near Bustleton and Bleigh avenues in the city’s Rhawnhurst section, Officer Tanya Little said in a telephone interview. MORE INQUIRER: An intensive manhunt is underway in the Northeast for a lone gunman who shot dead two Loomis armored-truck guards and wounded another in a robbery attempt. The men who […]

MAILBAG: It’s A Black Thing

DEAR PHAWKER, Based on your “editorial,” maybe you missed this part of the article: “It’s indicative of the growing schism between the older generation in the black community and the younger generations in the black community, as well as the upper class and the poor. It’s a sad state of affairs.” (Both Lartigue and Green are black, as are all those who introduced the legislation in Louisiana and Georgia.) MICHAEL J.A. [The point isn’t the skin color of the signers of bad legislation, it’s the impact it will have on society at large. Think about it: White cops pull over […]

BEWARE: Taxi Charging Outrageous Fares At Gunpoint

INQUIRER: Four people who hailed cabs in the early-morning hours last month were taken on a wild ride at gunpoint when the hack and his accomplice turned out to be armed robbers, police said yesterday. They warned city riders to beware, especially if there is a passenger up front with the cab driver. All the victims were college-aged. Central Detectives Lt. Richard Brown said it appears the robbers are using a real cab that had been put out of service. It is described as a black Ford Crown Victoria with a white logo. Victims, including one from the University of […]

Pot-Bellied Cops To Crack Down On Saggy-Assed Pants

EDITOR’S NOTE: Parts of this post first appeared on Phawker on August 14th, 2007 MANSFIELD, LA — “Pull ’em up or pay up.” That’s Police Chief Don English’s interpretation of a new law that took effect in Mansfield on Sept. 15. Anyone caught wearing sagging pants who exposes his or her underwear will be subject to a fine of up to $150 plus court costs, or face up to 15 days in jail. Mansfield aldermen voted unanimously at today’s 4:30 p.m. meeting to enact the new law. The law makes it illegal to found in a “state of nudity, or […]

We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It

A QUIET NIGHT IN WITH: The Mekons, World Cafe Live, Tuesday Night BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR THE INQUIRER If you ever crunched the numbers on rock stardom, you would ask yourself why anyone bothers trying. Sure, there will always be that one-in-a-million talent that, whether through luck or lightning caught in a bottle, will shoot human cannonball-style into the rarefied heights of immortality. But for most it is a life of minor-key daily indignity, a soft but uninterrupted hell of winnowing expectations and diminished returns that will bring them all the fame of philatelist and all the riches of a […]