This would be so much funnier if it weren’t so true.
SCOTUS: Sympathy For The Devil
WASHINGTON POST: Exxon Mobil, the giant oil corporation appearing before the Supreme Court yesterday, had earned a profit of nearly $40 billion in 2006, the largest ever reported by a U.S. company — but that’s not what bothered Roberts. What bothered the chief justice was that Exxon was being ordered to pay $2.5 billion — roughly three weeks’ worth of profits — for destroying a long swath of the Alaska coastline in the largest oil spill in American history. “So what can a corporation do to protect itself against punitive-damages awards such as this?” Roberts asked in court. The lawyer […]
POLICE STATE: Good Morning America, How Are You?
WALL STREET JOURNAL: The almost-constant growth of the U.S. prison population during the past 30 years has pushed the number of people behind bars past a new threshold, according to a study released yesterday.With more than 2.3 million people in local jails and state and federal prisons, more than 1% of the U.S. adult population is locked up, according to the Pew Center on the States. The rate is the highest in the world, and the statistics are starker for some groups. More than 11% of the nation’s African-American men ages 20 to 34 are behind bars, the study said. […]
TOXIC SHOCK: Deadly Ricin Found In Vegas Motel
LAS VEGAS SUN: Ricin, a deadly toxin, was discovered in a room at a weekly motel off Valley View Boulevard and Flamingo Road this afternoon. Hotel employees thought the substance looked suspicious and called police, who responded with the Clark County Fire Department. Presumptive testing quickly revealed the substance was ricin and police shut down the property. Ricin is derived from castor beans and can be deadly in small quantities, said Metro Sergeant Joseph Lombardo, head of the department’s Homeland security unit. It is used in cancer research, but is illegal to produce for any other reason. Ricin [pictured, right] […]
TODAY I SAW: Dawg Day Afternoon
BY JEFF DEENEY TODAY I SAW a collarless gray brindled pit bull giving lazy chase to another stray on 72nd Street, across from the Paschall Homes. The shaggy dog leading the pit bull jogged past the crumbling houses on Yocum Street, looking back over its shoulder, causing the pit to playfully hop up on his hind legs for a step or two when it did. The proliferation of feral dogs around the Paschall Homes lends irony to the statement spray painted on the facing low-rise brick wall dotted by plywood-covered windows on Greenway Avenue that reads, “Welcome 2 the Zoo.” […]
STUPID BLOG WARS: The Trouble With Sweeney
Since we find other people’s feuds with Doctor Philebrity to be almost as tiresome and tedious as our own, we got bored and changed the channel about half way through this exhaustive summation of the Clockcleaner vs. Joey Sweeney cage match. But you people on the Internets LOVE this catty shit, so here’s yer bowl of milk. Lap it up. Apparently there is talk of a lawsuit and the whole Internet getting sued or something — it’s like 2006 just threw up all over itself. Wake us up when it’s over.
BEACH HOUSE: Heart Of Chambers
From Baltimore, yo. Comin’ to the Barbary April 3rd. Nice.
LIVE REVIEW: Let Us Now Praise Bill Cosby
BY DAVE WALK Bill Cosby is 70-years-old now and its been 45 years since his debut comedy album. And even though he may be known to some for wearing his trademark sweaters on The Cosby Show, the pudding pops or, more recently, for his critical remarks towards African American families, he is, above all things, a stand-up comedian. And he’s still performing live. This past Sunday the 24th, he was at the State Theatre in New Brunswick, New Jersey and he did two shows, three and seven.There’s a scene in 2002’s documentary Comedian, about Jerry Seinfeld’s re-entrance into the world […]
BILLARY: When Bubba Comes To Town
INQUIRER: Former President Bill Clinton is in town today for a speech at the University of Pennsylvania, which he squeezed between some politicking for his wife among diner patrons in the morning and patrons of another sort later on.Clinton dropped by the Penrose Diner in South Philadelphia around 10 a.m. Then he was off to Penn, to present the keynote address at “Kerner Plus 40,” a University of Pennsylvania-hosted symposium on the legacy of the national commission created by President Johnson in 1968 to investigate the state of U.S. race relations, and the causes behind dozens of urban riots during […]
Top 5 Reasons Why St. Vincent Was Hotter Than Whatever Indie-Chick Show U Went 2 Last Night
SAINTS BE PRAISED: St. Vincent, First Unitarian, Last Night [CLICK TO ENLARGE] 1. St. Vincent sounds even better live than on record. Highlights of the evening were the opener, “Now, Now,” and “Marry Me,” the latter leaping to the top of the list of most heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever seen live on stage. 2. St. Vincent was very happy to finally be in Philadelphia for the tail end of her two-week tour, telling the crowd that she had drove through “the mountains, the desert, the ocean, the Siberia, and Seattle” to make it. Personally, I am of the opinion that […]
MEDIA: Fox News Gone Wild!
One man’s propaganda is another man’s pornography. * VIDEO: There’s enough smut on FOX News to make an entire porn site! All the footage you see in the video aired on the FOX News Channel.
BLOOD & TREASURE: Nobel Economist Says The Astronomical Cost Of Iraq War Triggered The Recession
THE AUSTRALIAN: THE Iraq war has cost the US 50-60 times more than the Bush administration predicted and was a central cause of the sub-prime banking crisis threatening the world economy, according to Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz. The former World Bank vice-president yesterday said the war had, so far, cost the US something like $3 trillion compared with the $50-$60-billion predicted in 2003. Professor Stiglitz told the Chatham House think tank in London that the Bush White House was currently estimating the cost of the war at about $500 billion, but that figure massively understated things such as the medical […]
KID IN THE HALL: Like A $16 Million Parking Ticket
BY NICK POWELL CITY HALL CORRESPONDENT Starting next year parking will cost Philadelphians $16 million more than it did in 2008 if a new parking tax bill before City Council passes. The bill, sponsored by Council President Anna C. Verna and Councilwoman Marian B. Tasco, would call for a 33 percent hike in the current tax rate, which works out to be a whopping 20 percent of the cost of parking your car in a lot. The parking tax as it currently stands requires drivers to shoulder 15% of the tax on every parking transaction. Newly appointed Revenue Commissioner Keith […]