F*cking funny and, best we can tell, largely true.
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free; The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, Tempest-tossed to me I lift my lamp beside the golden door! F*ck You, I Got Mine!
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Sure, I know it’s a question I’ve kicked around for years, but in light of Rep. Kantor’s election loss I’m willing to ask it yet again if only for its pure “irritation” effect. This time let’s direct it specifically to the real dolts within the Republican establishment (on the other hand, I suppose that description could aptly designate anyone within the Republican establishment these days), those hard-right oracles of lies, injustice and the un-American way; those so-called “influential” conservative media know-it-alls who profess to have all the answers so long as the questions don’t rise above the red-neck line. […]
WAYNE COYNE & FLAMING LIPS + SMILEY VIRUS: “Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain”
WAYNE COYNE: “The video story is something like this: Moby is an evil, power-hungry cult leader. He wants the world’s most valuable (according to our story) psychedelic supernatural possession… John F. Kennedy’s brain….the brain contains the original formula for the drug LSD!!! Miley Cyrus has the magic brain!!! And Moby enlists a nympho Manson girl-type blonde superfreak to go steel the brain from Cyrus. She steals the brain from Cyrus while Cyrus is still in bed in a drug-induced coma. Cyrus finally wakes up and is mega-pissed that her BRAIN has been stolen. She enlists a burned-faced Santa and a […]
OUT ON ASSIGNMENT: Across The Spooniverse
Have to go up to NYC today to have a word with this guy. I am bound by confidentiality agreement from saying more about this at the present time. We’ll be back with regular updates tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy this excerpt of my tUnE-yArDs cover story for the July issue of MAGNET.
EXCERPT: Where The Wild Things Are
Where The Wild Things Are From Dave Matthews Band-loving-anarcho-hippie-feminista-puppeteer to indie rock’s warpaint-smeared world-beating It Girl in just 10 years, tUnE-yArDs wonder woman Merrill Garbus has been chasing The Real Thing from the mythical savannas of Africa to the humid ruins of Haiti, from the leafy Birkenstocked redoubts of New England to the sun-kissed liberal paradise of the Bay Area. MAGNET goes Left Coast to find out why she still hasn’t found what she’s looking for. By Jonathan Valania Merrill Garbus has this weird obsession with eating babies. It comes up a lot, and she doesn’t even try to […]
CINEMA: Last Train To Oligarchsville
SNOWPIERCER (2013, directed by Boon Joon-ho, 126 minutes, South Korea) BY DAN BUSKIRK FILM CRITIC Writing about current film, I worry I spend too much time bemoaning the state of the Hollywood blockbuster, a sizable section of cinema I sometimes feel I should abandon altogether. What does summer boredom look like? Every other Joe is a super hero, every trailer reveals rebooted nostalgia and the sight of city skylines crumbling to the ground has become as old hat as cowboys dueling on a dusty Main Street. But it is hard to let the special-effects epic go. I was a […]
THE HANDMAID’S TALL TALE: A Point By Point Rebuttal Of Emily Zanotti’s Op-Ed Internet Feminists Wage War on Women’s Intelligence
BY JONATHAN VALANIA Not sure how I wound up at American Spectator — who even knew they were still around? Last time I checked they were using their Richard Mellon Schaife right-wing welfare checks to slime Anita Hill and spin trailer park fantasias of phantom menace and the dark doings of Billary in the fever swamps of Arkansas back in the ’80s out of whole cloth. But I wound up there nonetheless, probably because I stupidly follow PJ Media on Twitter and they were hyping Naked DC blogger Emily Zanotti‘s response to the social media outrage in the wake […]
SIDEWALKING: #Norfphillyshit
Photo by Meek Mill
NPR 4 THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR The Supreme Court term ended Monday. The New York Times correspondent and lawyer Adam Liptak talks with Fresh Air’s Terry Gross about what the decisions reveal about the nine justices. RELATED: The Supreme Court concluded its term today with a pair of decisions widely described as “narrow”—that is, of limited application except to the parties in the lawsuits. Don’t believe it. In fact, the Court’s decisions in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby and Harris v. Quinn conform to an established pattern for the Roberts Court. It’s generally a two-step process: in confronting a politically charged issue, the court […]
THE WYTCHES: Gravedweller
Boys will be noise. Like if Nirvana circa Bleach was listening to Crypt’s Back From The Grave series instead of The Melvins. Things would have been different. They play Boot N’ Saddle July 26th with Harsh Vibes and Love Club.
A Complete Guide To Filming Cops Behaving Badly
Artwork by SHEPERD FAIREY ACLU: Taking photographs of things that are plainly visible from public spaces is a constitutional right – and that includes federal buildings, transportation facilities, and police and other government officials carrying out their duties. Unfortunately, there is a widespread, continuing pattern of law enforcement officers ordering people to stop taking photographs from public places, and harassing, detaining and arresting those who fail to comply. Learn more » Your rights as a photographer: When in public spaces where you are lawfully present you have the right to photograph anything that is in plain view. That includes pictures […]
NPR 4 THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR Author of the bestseller Four Fish, Paul Greenberg explores why most of the fish Americans eat is imported while much of the fish Americans catch is exported and the implications of this imbalance in his new book American Catch: The Fight For Our Local Seafood. What’s the most popular seafood in the U.S.? Shrimp. The average American eats more shrimp per capita than tuna and salmon combined. Most of that shrimp comes from Asia, and most of the salmon we eat is also imported. In fact, 91 percent of the seafood Americans eat comes from abroad, but […]
Former NSA Chief General Keith Alexander’s Response To The Snowden Disclosures? Ka-CHING!
Illustration by DONKEY HOTEY PHAWKER: Why give away the NSA’s secrets for free when you can make Wall Street pay through the nose for them? WIRED: Cybersecurity firms and snake-oil salesmen promising protection from online threats are ubiquitous these days, and it’s hard to stand out in such a crowded field—unless you’re the former leader of the world’s best hacking outfit. In that case, the promises you sell carry more weight—and a higher price tag. Which may well explain why Gen. Keith Alexander, the former head of the NSA and U.S. Cyber Command, has launched the consulting firm IronNet Cybersecurity. […]